24 Hours May be Unreachable but I am Going to Make it a Goal Anyway

 But does that sound simple. In reality it just may be impossible. I would love to say that I can achieve this goal for at least one day but I am not convinced. That being said, i can strive to achieve less complaining and lean toward more gratitude. 1 Corinthians 16:14 says Do everything in love. That is another tough goal to achieve. I try but fail more often than I care to admit. The failure usually comes in the form of gossip of grumbling to someone else or myself about how others act. Even beating myself up for mistakes I make is not a loving way to live. 

There may never come a day when I lay my head on my pillow and can say I achieved either of these goals. But the aspiring toward these goals will move me from where I am today toward a more peaceful, appreciative existence. I am not ever going to be perfect. That is not what I am called to. But being a better version of myself as I walk my walk through life is my goal. 

Rather than sharing my aches, pains, and disappointments I want to share what is fabulous. Rose colored glasses is a perspective shifting attempt to see the best rather than the worst in others and ourselves. I complain about the news only reporting and sensationalizing our communities but I tend to do the same in how I choose to share. And it is a choice. One that I need to be intentional about shifting my focus from the negative to the positive. It takes looking for the good. I may never get to a whole 24 hours snivel free but I am going to reach for it. Pray for me as I pray for you.

In Him,

Joyful

1-26-26

Scatter Rather than Gather

 It feels a bit unkind that Ronnie B and I have been taking pictures that my mom wrote on and placed painstakingly into albums out and divvying them up for our kids. Mom always felt a need to write on every picture and place it into albums. She stressed over getting this done. The reason it was such a daunting task was that Mom so many pictures to document our lives. I know dismantling her photo albums is the right thing to do so we can gift each of our kiddos the ones that will mean the most to them. But it still has me quietly asking for mom’s forgiveness. 

Susi says she has albums for each of her kids so they will be able to take them in tact when the time comes. Ron and I put our photos in Rubbermaid bread containers that fit 4x6 pictures perfectly. They are mostly sorted by year and easy to thumb through. When one of our kids comes we encourage them to take any memories with them now. 

As we go through our home ridding out what we no longer need, it is always with the thought of just what our kids and grandkids would want to preserve. There is too much that has been accumulated over almost five decades of marriage for any of them to incorporate into their homes that are already full of their own belongings. Now is the time in our lives to donate more than we keep and beginning yesterday was a good start. It sure makes us miss those who are no longer living and appreciate the times we share with those still here. This started out as a task to clear out our home of our junk that could be someone else’s treasure. It quickly led to us sitting down with photos and memorabilia to reminisce.

Gathering people is the phase of life we are in. Not so much of gathering stuff. My hope is to be quicker with my phone camera to capture a moment than to need a trinket to place on a shelf. Time to scatter what we no longer need and preserve what our kids and grands may want to keep. The truth is that they want very little of what collects dust in our house. That is a truth that we need to keep in mind when we are putting more than less in the donate pile. 

We don’t need Gramma Peabody’s fish tank or tea cups to remember her or our times at her house. But keeping one or two teacups and having a fish tank does remind me of her. Mom’s California Raisin people are fun but my kids passed when I took them to share. So I have been gifting them to friends on their birthdays. After all, as seniors we could be considered raisins with our well earned wrinkles. 

This cleaning out closets used to terrify me since it seemed so overwhelming. But now it feels like a labor of love as well as a hug from the past. Scatter rather than gather is the time of life we are in. So let’s scatter our love and possessions on others and gather new memories along the way. 

In Him,

Joyful

1-25-26

Mom and Dad and the Life We Shared

 My Mom and Dad what a wonderful life they shared. Dad was an adventurer of sorts. Always dreaming up new ventures to bring in money for the family or was it just trying on a variety of hats for the challenge. When I was little we had all sorts of animals but always horses. Dad owned a tavern that mom supported by doing the books. He leased a horse boarding ranch that we all supported and enjoyed. What kid wouldn’t be thrilled to rlde horses as their chore. But mostly, my dad built custom homes for clients that became lifelong friends. Dad’s greatest quality was his generosity which was also the thing about him that drove my mom the craziest. She was after all the bookkeeper and worried where the next pot of gold would come from. But dad always had confidence that he could share whatever he possessed with others. I am proud to say I got my own selfless spirit from my dad. 

Mom and dad shared a love of camping, hunting, and wild parties with family and friends. Their New Year’s Eve parties were legendary for the crazy games they played. I can remember all my aunts and uncles doubled over with laughter during cheeky weeky or leggie weggie. But the risqué one that was epic was under the sheet. I would tell you how it was played but that would be a spoiler alert. The games were innocent with a hint of inappropriate. It was fun when Teri and I were old enough to join the fun and foolery. During leggie weggie I was blindfolded and the other had to feel all the guys calves to identify Ronnie B. I just knew I had found him since he is a runner and the calf I held was muscular. When they removed my blindfold I looked up into my dad’s amused face. It was a moment for sure. 

Mom always supported my dad in all his schemes. Behind the scenes she did the books but also said yes to all his ideas. I love that about my mom. She was not always sure of his ventures being good ideas but she never denied him living life to the fullest. 

Dad was the oldest of ten siblings and mom was the middle of three girls.I cannot remember a time when we weren’t spending time with cousins and family. Growing up in a large family was fabulous. Each house had unique opportunities to share. From Uncle Jim and Aunt Charlotte’s farm where we ran through cornfields to Uncle Bill and Elain’s pool that cooled us in the Phoenix summers, family was always a huge part of our lives. Mom’s family included us in camping trips as well as hunting outings. Yes, we ate venison on a regular basis. It is still not a taste I enjoy but food is food and we were a frugal family for sure. 

Teri and I were the darlings to our parents but they also taught us to help with the care and feeding of the variety of critters dad brought home with mom’s permission. I was always glad when I got to do the horses rather than dishes and house chores. It worked out since my sister was more of a girlie girl so she preferred not mucking out stalls or loading hay. The life we led as kids was magical from getting horses of our own one Christmas to all the times in our uncle’s basement with cousins strewn across the floor watching the Wizard of Oz at Thanksgiving. That was the one time a year that the movie aired. So while aunts and uncles enjoyed one another upstairs the kids were downstairs out of the way. 

I wouldn’t trade my childhood. Mom and Dad made life good for us. Now they are up in heaven along with my sister too soon. To say I miss them is an understatement. But I smile thinking of them up there together with so many family and friends that have passed. Now I am the only one left from our family of four but each of them lives on in me. Right now I am typing this under a lovely teal blanket that was my mom’s she so loved jewel colors. It is like a hug from her while I remember the days together. Someday we will all be reunited but until then I will enjoy my life and those who love me here and now. God is good and has filled my life with family, friends, and my Ronnie B who shares and appreciates who my parents were to me. I love that.

In Him,

Joyful

1-24-26

Bri’s Faith and Gifts

 My niece, Briana, made me this beautiful faith poster. I love it. I put it over my desk and it is perfect there. I love her faith and courage. Even when life gets hard, she has God in her corner. Her Aunt Barbara is always here to when she needs to talk. I hope she always remembers that. 

Bri is going through a transition right now. It is scary when one door closes and you have to step through into an unknown. She courageously has taken steps toward her future and I couldn’t be prouder of her. The truth is it would have been easy for her to settle and stay in the comfort of where she was. But she took the bold steps necessary to believe that God has better for her. The future is uncertain but she has the confidence that God is with her and knows her path. I love that. 

I learn a lot from this young woman about courage and faith. Her never quit attitude has been the reason she has overcome so many hurdles in life. I hope to live life with as much enthusiasm and fortitude that my niece does.

 Life is not always easy or predictable. But we never have to settle or take steps on our own. God surrounds us with people to support and encourage us to move toward our future even when it is unclear what the future will be. You go Bri! I can’t wait to see where your life will take you next. Always remember your family and your aunt are right here with you. 

In Him,

Joyful

1-23-26

My Habits Shape My Future. It is Up to Me to Decide What Habits I will Allow in my Life.

 Once again I find myself wishing I had habits in place that didn’t waste my time but connected me more to others. I find myself spending more time on my phone, streaming videos to watch alone rather than sitting at a table with a board game or sharing popcorn and a movie with Ronnie B. Too many times I have deleted games just to download them again in a week or two. A couple years ago, I made a commitment to not take my phone with me into the bathroom. Now I spend too much time on the pot because I am not in that habit any longer. Too much information you say. Well, do you or do you not hang out with your phone even in this smallest room of your house? Be honest! 

What habits do I want to include in my life and my daily routine? There is a saying that what fills our calendar and checkbook is what is our priority. Checkbooks are gone and our calendars are on our phones but the premise is still accurate. If the Amazon delivery guy rings my doorbell more than my neighbor and friend, I might have a habit I am not fond of. 

Here I am at the beginning of the year I turn seventy. You would think I would have control of my spending of my time and money by now. Nope. Oh I have had improvements over the decades. I do get up early and do my Bible study and try to blog most days. I do carry books with me about losing my son to share my story and my faith with others. But I also waste time that I can’t get back on mindless games. I don’t use my phone for its intended purpose enough. Connecting with people is why phones were invented in the first place. 

So today I am once again deleting the humorous games from my phone, making a commitment to call others to set up face to face coffee dates, and trying to leave my phone out of places I don’t need it. Someone said they go on a silent walk everyday. When I think of taking a walk it always includes my phone. Listening to a podcast or writing a to do list is a valid use of my phone. But being silent with my own thoughts is a powerful habit. I used to make my students lay on the floor after lunch with the lights off in silence. After all, I am a human being not a human doing. So I want to take time to simply be with me. Then I will hopefully be more inclined to be with you.  Let me see how this goes this time. I will let you know. 

In Him,

Joyful

1-22-26

A Quiet Whisper and a Gentle Nudge to Trust the Next Step

 Oh the gentle nudge of Jesus presses into my back moving me toward Him. A gentle nudge means a subtle, soft push or reminder to encourage someone to do something, without being forceful, coercive, or demanding. That is how Jesus presses into my back prompting me to engage in an activity or conversation. He is never going to bully or use a sledgehammer to get me to move into His will but will give me reminders of the next step I am supposed to take. Jesus is a gentleman and whispers in my ear rather than shouting to get my attention. 

Throughout my life I have felt Him pressing into my back to do something. Wash teenage girls feet on my kitchen counter was a thing I sat still and argued about before finally listening. It was one of the most powerful moments and ultimately led to this blog even existing. Often I feel that same urging to hand one of my books to someone. Most of the time I am anxious to share my journey through losing Ryan in book form. But occasionally I second guess if I should. That is when I feel His gentle nudge. 

I plan to begin my podcast soon. It seems something is always getting in the way. One of my biggest mistakes is believing I have to have it all figured out before I launch. Who am I kidding? God has this and will guide me step by step along the way. The fear of failure is not what He whispers in my ear. Rather he assures me that He will walk beside me through this journey. After all, He gave me the podcast name….Stepping Out with Jesus. You would think that would be all I need to trust Him.

Someone asked if I ever hear God’s voice. No. I don’t hear His audible voice but He speaks to me through His Word, other people, and those gentle nudges He often shares. Jesus is always just a whisper away when I take the time to be still and let Him guide me. I love that. There is never a moment I need to take a single step without Him holding my hand and guiding my way.

In Him,

Joyful

1-21-26

 

Jumping Fun with Courageous Cousins

 What a goofy, over enthusiastic smile. I always try to not smile so BIG in pictures. But how can I not be overjoyed with three of my eight grandkids on my lap and my gorgeous daughter beside me. We met at a trampoline park that was full of life and activity. Yes, we kept the kiddos hydrated as they jumped into foam block pits, swung across the abyss and jumped their little legs off. 

This is going to be a photo blog because I need to share some of the highlights and you know what they say. A picture is worth a thousand words. 

Auggie is two and was so brave and not intimidated by the big kids who were swirling around him. He finally tuckered out by the end of the two hour time but boy did he go hard until then. 

Millie was a fierce four year old.  She held onto the swing and soared into the foam pit. She and Felix were awesome at helping Auggie when he had a hard time climbing a vertical trampoline. Mills and Felix had the best cousin time ever! Pizza and dipping dots after our time were devoured since they worked up such an appetite. 

Felix is almost six and just lost two teeth in two days. He is the big cousin and so full of love and life. He so loved spending time with Millie. Nate and Natalie and I enjoyed watching them and they even had a fight on the balance beam with giant boppers. Natalie fill into the foam pit first but not until there was so much laughter and fun. 

This was a wonderful outing for a chilly, winter day. It is always a joy when we can get cousins together to hang out and play. I just love this. So I am going to give myself a break about my over smile in all the pictures. 

                                                                                               In Him,        

                                                                                               Joyful

                                                                                              1-19-26