The Golden Rule is for Me not just for You

 

The Golden Rule includes:

Treating others with respect, kindness and love.

Helping a friend in need.

Listening to others without interrupting.

Trying to see things from another person’s point of view.

Being open to change to help others. 

It always hurts when someone misunderstands my intentions/ my heart. When they believe the worst in me. But what i have been considering the past few weeks as a couple conflicts came up in my life is that I am as guilty of judging the hearts of others. Well, it has been a beginning of this new year to grow me more than them. I can go on believing I am in the right while they are all wrong or I can check in and have a conversation so each of us is heard and understood. Rarely do we intentionally set out to hurt one another. Most of us learned the golden rule in kindergarten and Sunday school. But do we adults practice the do unto others as you want them to do unto you? If we did I think there would be a lot more connecting and a lot less offending. 

Our first call after feeling offended should not be a rallying our people to shake our heads at how awful the offending person is. It should be to that same person to clarify and set things right. Then we can let others know of the conflict and more importantly how we worked things out together. That is how I want people to treat me.

 A couple years ago, a close friend left a voicemail about me that actually came to me. She was bashing me pretty hard including questioning my character. It was hurtful to say the least. I shared it with others and it did what I hoped it would do. It brought us together condemning her. That did nothing to repair the break in our relationship but boy it felt like sweet revenge. This past week I picked up the phone and was ready to confront the person who offended me. What I got was a closer understanding of the situation from her perspective and a closer relationship with her. That was a much healthier choice. Then relating the circumstances to others, I was more informed and had a better view of her heart. 

I can’t just wave my finger and catch others not following the golden rule. I need to hold myself accountable to do the same. 

In him,

Joyful

2-20-25

Turn Winter Blues Around Like an Upside Down Frown

 It is so easy to get into a funk this time of year. Yes, February is the shortest month but after the holidays it is hard to avoid the duldrums of the winter blues. So don’t just wallow in them. Make a plan. Take steps to turn your mood around. We are lucky in New Mexico that we have extremely cold, dreary days but there is always sunshine. So even when it makes you shiver, bundle up and get outside. Open your curtains and even your windows to let in the sunshine and fresh air. Call up a loved one while you have your morning brew. Chances are good that they need to connect just as badly as you do. Better yet invite them over for coffee or to chow down on a new recipe you have tried. Go to the grocery store rather than ordering delivery so you will see other people. You may just bump into the person you need to chat with. The other day I ran into Freedom and after our brief conversation I believe we will get together soon. 

There is always the pull to just let the season pass. To just wait it out and endure it. But as the book the Precious Present reveals. The gift is the present and you may look forward to the future warmth of summer but don’t waste your time in the present season. Christmas is behind us. Summer will come. But for now let’s remember how we long on those never ending hot days for a sweater day to cozy up on the couch with a good book and a cup of tea/coffee. Well that day is today. Embrace it and enjoy the here and now.

In Him,

Joyful

2-18-2

Embrace the Fun Facts and Relationships

 

I feel like lately I have been writing heavy words about relationships and their complexities. Several people have asked others, not me, if I was writing about them. Probably not. I actually spoke with who I was sharing my heart about. So today I just want to step back from the woes of life and embrace the simple things that make me smile. 

I love that on Facebook I get to see puns and silly coffee mimes. They brighten my day. Last night Lissa, Ron and I made a wonderful dinner to share with people we love and the togetherness was even more delicious than the food. 

Usually our grandkids are all about their Papa and at this moment in time Caleb is all about Noni. It may not last but I am loving it right now. Yes, I do want to be the favorite at times and truthfully so do you. Caleb is a two year old bundle of energy and he is a lot to handle when I am approaching sixty-nine. But the joy he brings with his smile and sweet voice are worth being a bit tuckered out. He has been potty training so I took him out to the bucket on the backporch where Felix learned to be a fountain boy and pee standing up. Caleb had a routine. He went through the mud room put on Papa’s hat, climbed through the doggie door and then approached the bucket. I gave him a coin every time he went. Let me just say that he has incredible abs because he could push out a few drops every few minutes. At this rate, he will be rich, Lissa will be richer for not buying diapers, and Noni will be poor. Glad he doesn’t see the difference between pennys and quarters and that coins are more fun than dollars. I couldn’t get by with that with most of my grandkids. 

Ronnie B is leaving tomorrow for ten days and Lissa and I may make a quick trip for fun. She is a great mom and works hard taking a full college load and raising two littles. All work and no play doesn’t work. So we are pushing hard to complete all the tasks before Thursday and then spending a couple days being carefree. Now that is something I am looking forward to but know that the three of them have more energy than the one of me. Pray I pace myself. 

In Him,

Joyful

2-17-25

Did You Press Send?

 Apparently you can edit or delete a sent text message if it hasn’t been read. What you don’t know is whether or not the other person read it without opening. hmmmm. Perhaps it isn’t foolproof. My advice is to make sure you want to send before you actually push send. I need to take my own advice on this. Perhaps a checkin with prayer would let me know if my heart is in the right place to send this message. Or better yet, if one of us has an issue with a friend or loved one maybe a phone call would be a better choice. Tone of voice matters and the back and forth of a conversation may just clear up any misunderstanding or offense. Get to the heart of the situation rather than assuming we know.

In Him,

Joyful

2-14-25

Buying Stuff to Store my Stuff…….Hmmmmm

Ronnie B has a saying………Let the store store our stuff. In other words, don’t buy what you need until you need it. I am of the mindset to buy ahead, buy on sale, buy in bulk. My idea saves us money but his keeps us from cluttering our home with more stuff than we need right now. This also applies to packing for a trip. He takes a backpack to travel around the world. That is not a hyperbole. I pack for every circumstance that might come up. A couple years ago, I had my hoodie when we went to the Bahamas in the summer. There were other items I brought that I absolutely did not need or use. I assessed our luggage on the way home and realized that my packing everything was exhausting. Ronnie B may be right. The truth is that if there was an unpredicted cold spell, I could always buy a sweatshirt that may turn out to be a favorite later on. 

George Carlin had a whole routine about gathering stuff and the simplicity of not. 

My sweet Angelica comes up a couple times a week and helps me rid out all the stuff I should never have acquired to begin with. You would think after a couple years there would not be anything else to get rid of. Wrong!! Somehow I seem to gather more than we flush out. Take tweezers from instance. I have over a dozen pairs. It seems when I notice a new chin hair and obsessively need it tweezed immediately, that there are no tweezers around. So I must stop and buy a new pair because that tiny hair cannot possibly wait. Yes I have tweezers in my car, my purse, beside my bed, on the counter where I do my Bible study, just not where I need them right now. 

I have decided to toss out all the extras in my linen closet. So many half used soaps, deodorants, hair sprays, and everything else I will never use up in a lifetime. It is so hard to toss them. It seems so wasteful to not use the last possible portion of toothpaste. But my life will be simpler if I can start letting go and stop overbuying. Once again Ronnie B is right. I can manage a trip with only one top a day rather than twelve. I can let the store store my stuff. But not when it comes to toilet paper. I never want to be in a position of using the last square and not having another roll under the sink. Perhaps, I can keep my bathroom cabinet as a storage place after all.

In Him,

Joyful

2-13-25

 

From Preacher to Pirate RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

 Rrrrrrrrrr well shiver me timbers! This is my forty year old little man. Cameron was a pirate on our FaceTime chat because that is just the kind of dad he is. Millie was a pirate then when the camera panned around a second time. Cam was the pirate. I love that so much. 

So what are the qualities of a pirate? One could focus on their poor qualities of fighting, drinking, and even selfishly taking from others for themselves. But they are also a band that is loyal to each other and always ready for an adventure and a good time.

So what are the qualities of a good dad? A good father provides for and encourages his kids. Cam is the best father. He is always engaged with his four kiddos and has brought adventure and love to their lives. It tickles me to see him in this pirate costume because he also will be silly for his sweet Millie. His family is his whole world. I would like to think a small part of it comes from growing up with Ronnie B and me. Raising four kids is an adventure in and of itself. But our trips in the yellow camper van, cheering from the stands, and believing our kids could be anything they wanted with the right heart and perseverance. 

Cam and Britt have years left before they face an empty nest but until then I love seeing them enjoy their home full of laughter, singing, and all the joys their family shares. 

Okay, we will see if my son allows facebook to keep this picture up or if he reports me like he did when I posted a pic of him as a twelve year old wearing a Patriots jersey. One of the few times I got blocked by the admins. Rrrrrrrrr you are a wonderful dad and have built a wonderful home.

In Him,

Joyful

2-12-25

Lean In Close While I Whisper what I have to Say

 

There are a lot of people shouting their heads off rather than taking a couple breaths and considering what they already know. Their anger and frustration makes it impossible to even listen to what might be good solutions to some of the problems we face. Is the world a mess in so many ways? Yep it is. But stomping our feet and getting all red in the face didn’t solve anything when we were two year olds and it won’t make life better now. What if, instead of imagining all that is wrong we took a brief pause and considered the ways things are right? 

This morning Holly Wagner talked of a time when heartbreaks seemed to be coming at break neck speed. Her husband got a jar and a colorful notepad and asked her/told her to write one thing she was grateful for each day. She didn’t think that was possible since there was nothing to be grateful for. Reluctantly, she wrote coffee on the slip of paper for the first four days. Eventually she began to write her family, career, faith and so many other things. Soon it was hard to just write one thing on the slip of paper because her heart had begun to focus on what was right rather what was wrong. It only took a jar on the kitchen counter and a husband with the wisdom to know what she needed. A refocus and to stop wallowing and begin living. 

All the shouting and wringing of hands doesn’t change our circumstances. In fact, people lean in close when we whisper to hear what we have to say. Rather than blasting your opinions why not try a gentle voice that others can actually hear. The truth is that the same thing we say may have merit but if it is delivered in a way others cannot hear it has no impact. 

Often I say that I am grateful that Jesus is only a whisper away. When I whisper and He whispers we both lean in and come close. It becomes an intimate moment where truth can be shared. What a better communication exchange than ranting and raving that only wants the other person to escape as quickly as possible. Once I worked with a school psychologist who had a deep low voice. Everyone in a meeting would lean in to hear what he had to say. It seemed he was the wisest one in the room. Rather his words were brilliant or not, his delivery made us have confidence in what he shared. 

Lean in, get close, let others hear what you say and share an intimate moment where you not only speak but listen to them. Nobody wants to listen if they are not also heard. 

In Him,

Joyful

2-11-25