All My Bags are Packed for the Umpteenth Time and I Need to Repack Just One More Time!

 I packed early for our trip to Egypt and Kenya. So proud of me. One and done……not even. I have packed and then repacked multiple times. I feel like this icon since I have been in and out of my suitcase so often. Maybe, just maybe I should wait till the last minute to pack and then I would really be one and done with moments to spare. 

Our fellow travelers shared a tip that we should put half Ronnie B’s clothes in my suitcase and half mine in his. That way if one of our bags gets lost we will still have something to wear. Ron even got airtags for our carry on luggage. Why? It can’t get lost if it is with me. Last night he pointed out that they often are out of overhead room and check the bag you thought was going in the cabin with you. Hmmm, I hadn’t considered that. 

So here I am the day of departure repacking yet again. Making room for some of Ron’s clothes and considering what clothes to put in his bag. Then Lissa came over with the kids last night. I shared the items I decided not to take. She disagreed and wants me to repack and add them back in. Okay. Mind you I am trying to only take a carry on and a backpack. This also has to include my books to give away. Then Ron said I need my medications and liquids accessible for customs. Now I need to shift things from carry on to backpack so they are readily available. To fit everything including the add backs, I have decided to wear my coat on the plane so it frees up space. Then there is the truth that I will shop on this trip. Where the heck are those items supposed to fit on the journey home?

 This is way more complicated than it needs to be. There are in fact stores in Egypt and Kenya. Who knew? So after I post this I am going to repack and hopefully be done once and for all. Now I am not even sure what to wear on the plane. Maybe if I wear two outfits on top of one another I will have more room in my bag. Or I might save that idea for the trip home. Stay tuned for travel posts. I ordered a keyboard for my phone since I am not taking my iPad. Now I need to figure out where to pack it. I guess I will figure it out. 

In Him,

Joyful

10-22-26

Egypt has Swimming……Who Knew? Now I Really am Excited!

 In less than a week we will be in Cairo embarking on an adventure I never imagined I would take. This archeology trip sponsored by Jornada Institute is the third we have been on. Ronnie B knows that no trip is a success for me unless there is a bit of water time included. After drizzly Ireland we went to Barcelona for beach time and sun. Now I find out that we will be staying at this hotel in Aswan right on the Nile River. Wow! I guess I will get to swim after all. Ron says I won’t be able to swim in the Nile because it may have critters that would be dangerous to my health. Well, you can bet even if I can’t swim in it, I will put my feet in that water. After all, a pool is not my first choice of swim venues. I much prefer lakes, rivers, surf, or even ponds. But I will spend some time in this cement pond while others explore ancient sites. The temperatures should be perfect for a leisurely swim unlike my frigid dips in Greece. 

Let me explain that I have never been a world traveler. My mom and sister never flew on a plane until Ronnie B and I were expecting our first adoption. But a few years ago, Ron encouraged me to go on Dave Greenwald’s trips with him. So here I am ready to embark on number three and excited to explore a place I never realized I would be excited to visit. Who knows where else we will explore in this travel filled retirement? Although I love being home with my sweet cat curled up beside me, I am getting more confident traveling. 

The saying parents are spending their kids inheritance seems like a selfish way to live. Rather enjoying life to the fullest is an inheritance. The example to live life to the fullest and spend time together with others. We end our trip in Kenya with Tom Abungu who runs an orphanage and school there.  I am going to share some of my teacher tools that I have found effective over a lifetime of teaching. Ron and I are excited to spend time there on Safari and with the young people who have stayed in our home. 

Life is unpredictable and we don’t have a magic eight ball to see what the next couple decades hold. For now, we are both healthy enough to travel so we are. Whether it is flying across an ocean or moving north in our little rv to the northwest to see family, we are loving life together. For that I am grateful. Next June, Ron and I celebrate our fiftieth anniversary. Fifty years of being Barbara Barber. Wow! I really think that all the seasons of our life have been a blend of challenges and joy. But this season is quieter in so many ways yet filled with more family than we dared to dream of having. I feel beyond blessed to be a mom and Noni to so many. God is good all the time.

Pray for our safety and follow our adventure on FB or instagram at Barbara Friedman Barber. I hope to share photos and snippets along the way. Love you all for reading my heart story.

In Him,

Joyful

10-17-26

Stained Glass, Sea Glass, Tapestries that Let’s Our Life Shine Through

 

Just like a stained glass window can shine light through the tapestry of life, a piece of sea glass can weather the surf and come out as a treasure for someone to find. I love the imager of both of these. Jon Guerra wrote a song on stained glass. We are all stained it’s true but when the light shines through we all look like stained glass windows. 

None of us come through life without stains and rough edges. But when we add light and let those sharp sides get softened  even the hardest moments become part of our story. This past week has been filled with thunderstorms that came with downpours or rain and wind that could carry us away. It was so uplifting yesterday when the sun came out and I could get in my Fancypants convertible and let the sun warm my face. I am thankful for the seasons when I get to long for sweater weather after a sunny summer. When I think I can’t take another snowy day the new plants pop up in the garden. 

I remember back to a time that Ron and I were facing infertility and then adoption became our hope. Then our first little boy was returned to his birthmom’s arms. It was heartbreaking and celebratory at the same time. Adoption only works if every heart is at peace with it. Here we are decades later with just the right family. Our four chosen children have families of their own and even grandkiddos for our Ryan. We have older grands that are making their way through college toward their chosen careers and wee ones that are navigating first grade and preschool. It is just as it was meant to be and Ron and I just had to prayrfully believe that God had the right family for us. The beauty of adoption is that our family extends to the birth families that are such an important part of our lives and our story. I love that we have lifelong connections and then those who have just recently found their way into this family that was always theirs through dna. Recently, Cam’s Mom, Tammy, and his sister joined the family. Natalie’s sister on her birth father’s side came into our lives. She calls me Noni-ish since their is not really a word for our relationship. I love this growing family that Ron and I believed for and that is now the biggest part of our heart. 

Our story goes on like the tumbling of seaslass it gets smoother and more beautiful through the breakers. Nobody promises life will be easy but the fact that we don’t walk the shore alone is what makes even the stormy days beautiful. One can think of life as stained glass, sea glass, or a tapestry that is quilts scraps of leftover material into a warm, lovely gift. Jesus and those he places in our lives never leave us alone but are always present for an encouraging word and a much needed embrace. Oh did I leave out the laughter? Yes, the fun, foolery and laughter are also a light whether it is with little kiddos or old age mishaps. 

In Him,

Joyful

9-19-26

Enjoying the Me that I am Today

I hate to admit that as I reached my seventieth birthday, it occurs to me that I was more critical than approving pictures of myself. How often did I slip behind others because I felt fat? Or shunned away from an opportunity to get a photo with a loved one because I didn’t have on makeup or my hair was a mess, it is rare when a person is happy with what their mirror reveals and that breaks my heart. I spent too much time believing that I was not the pretty one. I allowed that perception to steal my joy rather than embracing the moment. 

Here I am with white hair and more wrinkles than I thought possible but when I look at the me in this picture, I see beauty. Funny that what society would say had lost the sparkle is me now seeing my own. 

Life is not only about how we see ourselves on the outside but who we are and how we see ourselves as we relate to others and how we live our lives. Recently, I have been looking back on the accomplishments of the years that got me to this place. I am beyond grateful that I got to be Ronnie B’s wife and my kid’s mom. That I was able to impact families of my students and Young Life kids is one of my most treasured honor. 

Sometimes you hear the question if we could advise our younger self what would we say.  Well, I would say accept yourself. Love and embrace just how God made you. Don’t worry if your hair is too thin or your knees are knocked. Rather love yourself inside and out. Then I would tell myself to forgive me for missteps because they may take me down the wrong path but they also will teach me lessons I need to learn. Lastly, I would remind myself to focus on the gifts of life rather than the what ifs that may or may not happen. 

Matthew 22:39 says to love others as you love yourself. So it is God’s plan that I love myself so that I can love others and form the connections that make life so rich. It is not being conceited or arrogant to recognize the gifts God created in me that can bring others to Him. 

Here I sit writing on my iPad on my back porch with my coffee beside me and my dog and cat competing for my attention. It is so still right now. No kiddos are playing at the park behind my house. There is just silence as I look out over our yard. I love being seventy, wrinkles and all. There are more years behind me than in front of me and I am at peace with that. What I hope is that I enjoy these moments, reflect on the more hectic ones of raising kids, and know that whatever my future holds will be mine to press into. Missing my kids has been replaced with enjoying the quiet time I get to spend with Jesus rather than rushing everyone off to school. Spending so much time with Ron and knowing how fortunate we are to still enjoy each other all these decades later. There is time to read, have coffee with friends, walk our Cora, and just sip coffee as the sun rises between the trees. 

The photo in this post does not look like my senior photo but I find it more beautiful in so many ways. Life has been challenging and there have been heart crushing losses along the way. But God has always been with me to take the next steps. Here I am a wife, friend, mother, grandmother and even great grandmother who gets to spend time with those I love. There is nothing not to like about Barbara Friedman Barber at seventy. I only wish I would have recognized how fabulous I am when I was much younger. But maybe I needed those doubts to get me to the peace I have with myself today. So I will pat myself on the back, smile at myself in the mirror and stand out front for the photo. I hope you will do the same whatever season of life you are in.

In Him,

Joyful

9-7-26

 

Loving My Kids Through My Changing Role as Their Mom and Trusting God with My Grown Children

How often through the years have I had to be reminded to get on my knees and turn my hands up surrendering my children and grandchildren to you, Lord. So often I grab my fix it wand and try to make things right in their circumstances. When they were small it was on me to protect and guide them through their early years. But as we know the job of a mother is continually diminishing. That is the way of life. Children grow from an infant needing all their needs meant to a toddler sitting at the table shoving chicken nuggets into their own mouths. Eventually, they don’t need us to drive them to all their practices but get behind the wheel and get their own their own. Then before we know it they are driving off to college and a dorm room that is not under our roof. 

It i difficult as a mom to release the control and protection we have over their safety. But that is our purpose. To raise children to thrive on their own with our prayers and listening ears always in the background of their lives. One of the biggest complaints my adult children have is that I give them unsolicited advice. Don’t get me wrong, I need to be present when one of them calls for a recipe or asks how to navigate a situation. But my role is not to pester them with how they should live their daily lives. What I have come to realize is that even if they take a misstep it is not the end of the world. Most of the time they will learn more from their mistake than they ever would from me fixing a problem for them. In fact, I am teaching them a lesson with each of my butting in moments. It can be that I cripple their growth by bailing them out over and over. Cleaning up their messes was my job when they were babies and needed a diaper change but eventually they needed to learn to pick up their own toys and manage their finances on their own. But it is os hard to put down my micromanaging wand and fade into the role God intended. 

A praying mom’s job starts before a baby is born and continues to her last breath. That is the consistency of motherhood. Loving and supporting our children even when their choices would not be our choices for them needs to be our focus. Lead with love when we interact rather than getting on our bully pulpit to pound some sense in them. After all, I have learned that I am not always right. Shocking but true. There is that question of how did you feel before you realized you were wrong. You felt like you were right. More and more often I am tuned into how wrong I can be in my thoughts, decisions and actions. Then I need to ask for forgiveness or correct my mistake. My prayer for me is to let love and kindness be the motivation in all I do just ads 1 Corinthians 16:14 says. I even had it tattooed on my wrist as a reminder. 

Forgiveness is mine. God forgives me and I need to forgive myself and then pray to do better especially with my own children. My seventy years of life have given me wisdom and the wises thing I can do is trust those I love to God’s loving hands and know that He loves them more than I do. That is hard to comprehend but oh so true. Trust, faith, love are what I need to hold onto when I sit in my home that is not an empty nest but one I choose to fill with others. Those precious children of mine may not lay their heads down under my roof but the memories are always present and my door is always open. Now Ronnie B and I share our home not with our children or even our grandchildren since they all have home of their own. Now we invite students, postdocs, and scientists to sleep in their rooms while they work in our hometown. What a gift to always have others in our home and to rest assured that God has His hands on our grown children even when we cannot physically kids them good night. 

In Him,

Joyful

9-5-26
 

Tim is a Junior and Loved by His Sisters Who Woke Up to See Him Off on Day One

 Our grandson, Tim, started his junior year of high school. His three sisters woke up early to wish him well. This is the first year Tim is going to school without one of his sisters since junior high. He is driving himself this year after years of riding shotgun. Kenzi is starting her junior year of college and soon Kayla will be off to her dorm room a few hours from home. Our almost five year old Millie will have one more year of preschool before kindergarten. 

I love the love and support these siblings show one another. They are a tight nit group that always has one another’s back. It i also true that they are each others favorite people to hang out with. Cam and Britt did it right raising these talented humans to not only be hard workers but also kind and caring Christians. I love seeing Tim’s cross around his neck. Soon he and Kayla will sing their last song on their churches worship team. There are a lot of lasts but also so many firsts. 

This family has changed a lot over the years. Adding Millie twelve years after Tim was born was such a gift. But these littles in this picture have turned into incredible adults and Ronnie B and I couldn’t be prouder of our grandkids. Enjoy your last couple years of high school Tim. We know you will rock it!

Just now Noni and Papa love you and couldn’t be prouder.

In Him,

Joyful

9-3-26

Captain Ron Knows Me and Loves Me Together or Apart

 Oh how I love this man. He has taken me on life’s adventures for over fifty years. I love his enthusiasm for life and is love for adventure. But mostly I love his love for me. Ronnie B is on a six week sailboat trip with his brother and sister-in-law around the Vancouver Island. I was invited of course and prayed about going with them. Even my sweet grandgirl, Makenzie, prayed for my decision. You see, I struggle with saying yes and worry when my heart is telling me no. But we had been on an rv trip for six weeks and only home for one. I simply was torn with going with the love of my life and being at home for awhile. Ron himself came up with the perfect plan. I will join them for the last week or two in Victoria and sail the San Juan Islands. The best of both choices is that I have had time to rest and just be at the home I love connecting with people I love here in our hometown. Then I can sail through waters I love even though they are too chilly to do much swimming. 

My greatest gift is not the opportunities I have had because of marrying this man almost fifty years ago. That he allows me to say yes and to say no when I need to and knows me well enough to make life fit for both of us. I mean who says no to a sailing trip with incredible views? But Ron recognized my need for home time. I love that about him. We both love doing life together but are also okay when we go off on our own. That makes sharing our separate moments even more precious. 

As you can see from the picture of Captain Ron, the weather and waters in Canadian waters are not the warm water I love to swim in when we go to the Bahamas. But I have a plan for that. I ordered a wetsuit and will hope to get in the water not just on the boat when I join the other Barbers in a few weeks. Ron is loving the trip and I am loving hearing his adventures. I am loving my time at home and love sharing all the stories of life here with my Ronnie B. Felix was here for a couple weeks, Nabin from Nepal is living with us for the summer, and the Margarita Trails lunches have been filled with friends and laughter. 

There are times when I doubt my choice to go or to stay. But this has been perfect and I chose well. Susi is here for the weekend which is a bonus! Girl time, me time, Felix time and just sitting on the patio reading a book in a monsoon thunderstorm have all made it clear that I needed this time at home. I feel so fortunate in my life right now. The people that I share life with make my life rich and I am content with this seventy year old version of me. The hustle and bustle of teaching and raising kids has been replaced with quiet days and also adventure filled ones. I could not ask for a better life or a better man to share it with. Thank you Ron for loving me just as I am and allowing me to be me. 

In Him,

Joyful

7-25-26

Felix Time is the Best of the Best

This kid……Nate and Natalie gifted us with Feli time. He left with us on Father’s Day in our Goldie rv from Washington and here we are almost a month later in New Mexico. Our time together is coming to an end but oh the laughter and joy we have shared.

This picture sums up our six year old grandson’s personality. He may get frustrated or entitled just like each of us but with a bit of time and reflection he is all good. Here he is in the er where he ached all over and had a high fever. Thirty minutes before this picture our little man was miserable. A bit of Tylenol and multiple tests and he let us know that he was all good. So Felix!

I have learned so much from Felix this past month. 

1. Each of us works better when we get enough sleep.                                                                                   2. Boundaries keep us in a good mood better than getting what we want when we want it. Tantrums come when others  bow to our desires rather than when  rules are kept clear.                                                                  3, Trying new things can be hard but with the right reward we can find that new things can be fabulous rather than frightening.                                                                                                                                     4. Learning is exciting and sharing what we are learning is even better. Khan Academy shows me how brilliant little man is and while he reads I learn. He prefers nonfiction so I now know more about alligators and crocodiles, planets, and so much more.                                                                                                    5. When we are secure in our relationships with others, it is not worrisome to be away from them. It may hurt Felix’ parents that he isn’t homesick but the truth is it shows that he is confident in their love. His place with Ronnie B and I is comfortable. That is a tribute to how loved he feels. 

6. Don’t lead with what your goal is. There will be negotiation so inflate and then there is room for negotiation.

7. Laughter is infectious. 

8. Having the confidence to approach others whether at a park or in a grocery store gives us connections to others and makes life more

 

Lastly, it is the best way of life when everything is viewed as over the top wonderful. There have been two people in my life that truly believed that every meal is the most delicious, every gift is the best, and every person is their favorite. Grandma Co Humpton not only said this but felt it with every fiber of her heart. Felix is this way as well. He truly embraces and loves life. There is nothing fake about his joy as he walks through his days. Felix just finds joy in the moment and all it comes with. Well, maybe not taking medicine or getting his toenails cut. 

People like Felix and Co lift others up and remind us to look for the positive. I hope to turn up my enthusiasm for life in my days ahead. After all, our attitude does matter is true. 

 After receiving what I have prayed for I ask for the discipline to maintain it and the wisdom to make it grow. This time with our grandson has been such a gift that we treasure more than his parents could know. Now that we have enjoyed all the adventures and moments it is time to be more intentional with all our grandkids to FaceTime, call and stay connected. Personally, this Noni needs to get a strategy to connect regularly. Who knows, perhaps we will get to build our relationship with others not with a glorious month together but conversations. Sharing life is the answered prayer and we intend to be more intentional about nurturing this gift. 

full.

In Him,

Joyful

7-14-

Moving on up in a Variety of Ways

 Moving on up………tis the season. Graduations, retirements, new jobs, summer trips are moving us from one bowl to another. Hopefully, bigger is better. My third grandgirl is graduating high school and her families home life will never be quite what it is right now. I remember thinking that turning forty would surely be my favorite since all my four kids were still home. Here I sit at seventy in my son’s house helping with the bustle of turning the page on high school for now his second daughter. My hope is that this bigger fishbowl and new adventure is not only filled with more water but color, light, new relationships and joy. Whether someone is graduating from kindergarten or retiring from a loved lifelong career, there are mixed emotions of anticipation and the grief of moving away from relationships that have meant so much. Life is full of hellos and goodbyes, new beginnings and last moments. Treasuring all with photographs and memories that may fade but will always be a part of the fiber of who we are is key. Even when the path gets rocky there are lessons to be learned and even an occasional smile at the oh shits of life. All the tears of the final moments are accompanied with shared smiles over what came before. 

Kayla is moving off to college a few hours from home. Felix is going to first grade to learn even more about reading, writing and ‘rithmetic, Lissa completed phlebotomy and will start nursing school in the fall. Our grands are moving forward in wonderful ways to embrace the world. As I write this blog, Millie, my four year old grandgirl is reading over my shoulder and tells me she wants to ride her bike, do crafts, and learn to swim this summer., go camping,, and spend time with her Noni. I may have prompted her on that last one. 

Life is good but it can also be challenging. Thankfully, we have others in our lives to move along the path with us. Even when we are states apart there is always busy chats and phone calls to share what the heck is going on. I am so glad that Papa and I can travel in our little rv. It is best when we visit families of our kids with our own beds just outside on the street. Papa’s code for he is going to take a much needed nap is that he is going to feed Cora her dog food. I believe they are on to us old folks and our need for a bit of quiet and rest. See even we are in a different season of life. Enjoying family but also time to recover and kick our feet up. 

My hope is that you have a sincere filled with others. People you love and want to spend time with. Summertime is just what we need to throw on our flip flops and crank up the barbecue for a bit of charred food and friendly conversations. 

In Him,

Joyful

5-31-26

Let’s welcome June and the warmer weather with a look to the future and all that it holds. 

Wonderful Moments are Happening

 How glorious to wake up with anticipation of a new day. I have been on a journey of believing the best and just this attitude is creating a peaceful, expectant attitude. Nothing has really changed recently so I am not quite sure what is making me feel so expectant of positives in my life. But it is here and I am wallowing in this hopefulness. The one change I can point to is that my prayers have been more believing in situations that have been prayed for decades without movement. One is for my grown children to choose to be in a relationship with one another. Will this ever be the case? I am not sure but I do know that I have accepted whatever God chooses to do in this circumstance. There are other things in life that remain unresolved but I have somehow finally set them down and found a peace with how things are rather than wringing my hands with how I would prefer them to be. Something wonderful has happened. I am no longer feeling the need to fix everything or have my way in other’s lives. Isn’t that a part of the AA saying………change the things I can and accept the things I cannot change.  Peace comes when we let go and let others choose their own paths. Perhaps this peace I have found is that at seventy I have laid down my micromanaging wand and learned to stay in my own lane more. I am convinced that my children and grandchildren are thrilled with me trusting them with their own choices. Do I still pray for them and support them where I can? Absolutely! But Natalie for one has been trying to get me to stop advising her when she doesn’t ask for decades. Maybe this thick skull is finally getting the memo. 

Today, I expect wonderful things to happen. I look forward to packing out for a trip to the northwest in a couple weeks. Elissa is graduating tomorrow from NNMC with a phlebotomy certificate and starts nursing school in the fall. Clara is coming to spend tonight to ride with us in the morning. Our summer intern arrives today from Nepal. Ronnie B has been getting projects around the house completed with Jon’s help. Then I am also spending time on me. My sister always took the time to do her fingernails and put on lotions and potions whereas my mom and I were never really interested in all the girlie things. Lately, I have stepped up my pampering of me. With the help of Zepbound my weight that has always been a burden is not an issue anymore. Food noise is quieted and I am at the weight that I listed on my driver’s license for the first time in decades. I actually feel pretty. That is something I haven’t really felt in my whole life. Funny that this comes at seventy with all my wrinkles and bright white hair but here it is. Heck, I even wore a dress to Elissa’s graduation party. 

Life is good. Life has moments of fear, doubt, frustration but really isn’t that just a part of life for everyone. There are things I hope to do better. There are habits I want to discard. But in the end, I believe this feeling of euphoria is because I have found a way to have grace for me. Rather than dwelling on all the should have, could have, why didn’t I parts of my life, I am choosing to celebrate where I am right in this moment of time. Ronnie B and I are in good health and looking forward to our rv trip. There are hot springs to visit and lakes to swim in along the way to family. Our grandgirl, Kayla, is graduating from high school and on to Western Washington University. So glad we get to be a part of her celebration. What a joy to put most pity parties behind me and enjoy life as it is. God knows I am living a life I don’t deserve but embrace. Family, friendships and faith are such a big part of my joy. For each of you, I am grateful.

In Him,

Joyful

5-15-26

To Have and To Hold, I Want to Live This

 We hear this line to have and to hold in wedding ceremonies but perhaps it should apply to other areas of life as well. Today we seem to be a society of toss it out and replace rather than fix and repair. This simple saying describes my Ronnie B. He would rather repair and hold onto what we have than recycle and get a new anything. 

To have is what we already own or have in our world. I never thought about this line in our vows but the promise is to hold not release or discard. I love that. As many of you know Ronnie B and I were separated for several years. Even in that difficult time in our relationship we continued to bring the family together every evening for dinner. Not knowing how our story would evolve was hard to hold onto hope of a future together. But we never gave up and a little kidney stone brought us back under one roof. I was in agony and went to stay with him for nurturing and nursing. I never left. We began praying together bringing the hard conversations together with Christ in the center. Life has never been better since we still have one another and hold on to our relationship that is half a century in the making. 

Some would say the brokenness was too much to repair but I am forever grateful for that season that showed us just what we have but also what we should hold onto and not throw away. Would it have been easier to just part ways? Absolutely. It took real commitment and getting past hurts to come back together. But I am convinced that our lives would not be the great love story that it is without walking through those hard years. I am forever grateful to my Young Life girls and there three word prayer for us……under one roof. When we got back into one home those girls believed as do I that their prayers were answered. Susi even stitched it on the quilt she made and repaired for us. 

I hope to embrace the to have and to hold in my life. The desire to get something shiny and new only to discard what I already have is tempting. But what a gift to have an old sweater or that comfy couch that used to be my mom’s. Yesterday, I found out that the insurance company didn’t total my car from when I hit a deer this week. My Murano was my dream car but I had been researching other vehicles just in case. I didn’t find anything I would love as much. So I was thrilled when they said they would repair my Deville, yes that is her name. I have her and now I get to hold onto her a bit longer. Last night, the power went out and this morning our microwave wouldn’t worked. I was bummed I couldn’t reheat my coffee. I love this microwave and worried it was toast. But Ron unplugged it for a bit and it works just fine. I get to hold onto it for hopefully many years to come. 

To have and to hold not to toss and replace is the way to live life. It never really hit me that this little phrase in a commitment ceremony was to cling to what we have. I love that. I love my Ronnie B and the life we share because this part of our story kept us from moving forward without one another. Our amazing love story is not all romance and roses but that is what makes it so precious. I plan on holding onto my man for as long as God keeps us both this side of heaven and then reunites us there. 

In Him,

Joyful

5-9-26

Ronnie B Looking Good at Seventy

 Ronnie B is going to be seventy! Wow! I love this invitation Natalie made for his party that will be at her house. It will be fun to celebrate my rugged man who loves the outdoors and gets out in it often. First, we will travel with our dog, Cora, in the rv to get there. That will be an adventure of hot springs along the way and a bit of archeology for Indiana Ron. The hope is that family and some friends can gather to tell tales of Ron’s life and mischief. Even Ron is thinking about what he wants to share. 

At my seventieth people brought recipes. For Ron’s we want to have them bring memories, the more embarrassing the better. Ron is a man of many talents and many loves. He loves archeology, his family, friends, and researching past cultures as well as his own roots. Recently, his love is our Cora dog. I would never believe Ron would be so attentive to an animal but oh he truly is. 

I have written that entering our seventies feels like we are entering our best life. We both have our health, our family and adventures await. This year we are going to Washington, sailing in the Canadian waters with Ron’s brother Paul and Cindy, taking a trip to Egypt and Kenya, and yesterday found out that a trip to the Bahamas after Thanksgiving may be possible. Ron measures adventures with family and archeology. I measure them with family and when I can get in the water for a swim. 2026 promises to be the start of a decade filled with the two of us exploring the world hand in hand. 

The fact that we get to enjoy family sand friends makes life even sweeter. I love that Auggie FaceTimed me with his dad to let me know that my star pillow is still at their house just waiting for me. At two and a half he already knows me. He said Noni love to watch football and doesn’t like cinnamon coffee. What a gift to see others at such a young age. I can’t wait to get to Washington to watch Kayla graduate, Tim sing,  and snuggle Millie, Auggie and Felix. The added gift is our nieces are also in the northwest so we get to spend time with them as well. You can bet there will be lake days of swimming while we are there. 

Happy Birthday to my Ronnie B, partner in crime. I look forward to you being as old as me. Just remember I am 58 days older than you so I am your elder. But Susi will always be older than both of us so there is that. She made crossing into the seventies look good. Seventies are a time when we have the time, health and resources to enjoy life. So let’s get this party started Mr. Barber. Here’s to you.

In Him,

Joyful

5-3-26

Ronnie B and Me Springtime!

I just love that spring is popping up everywhere. The colors and smells of this season just brings joy to my heart. Along with the new blooms comes the tasks that bring me outside to bask in the warmth and sunshine. It is pleasant to be clearing out the old growth getting ready for the new. Ronnie B and I planted jasmine, forsythias, and lilacs last weekend. We power sprayed the porch to rid it of cobwebs and started planning for the flowerbeds that will add color to our summer. What a gift that we are healthy enough to be enjoying life as we get ready to enter our 70s. I truly believe this is going to be the best decade ever!

 

Passport Office took my Sparkle when They Altered My Image

 This was kind of creepy. It was time to renew my passport and so Ronnie B took the picture of me smiling. Some on Facebook thought the government wouldn’t accept it with the smile. I read the emails again and again and they did indeed accept the photo I submitted. Imagine my shock when my passport arrived a week latter minus my earrings, smile and other small changes. This is disturbing. That they would alter my image rather than declining it and asking me to send an appropriate photo. It doesn’t feel like me on my own passport that I will carry for a decade. I am not against AI but was disturbed that they used it for my identification. 

New technology has never scared me. In fact, I have mostly embraced it to improve life as I know it. Somehow I have to get past the eerie feeling of seeing my altered self, In October, we travel to Egypt and Kenya. Let me focus on the discoveries of this incredible trip rather than the haunting eyes staring back at me on my passport. 

What are your thoughts on AI? Are you curious to see how it will improve your life or cautious of how it will overtake tasks we typically do ourselves? I have mixed feelings but understand that it is now a part of our world. It is better to see how we can use this tool that is now here to stay. But please know that I would have gladly sent another picture through technology to get a passport with a real image of me. There corrections left me with haunting eyes that I am glad I don’t wear in my everyday life. It feels like they took the life and sparkle out of my eyes and my face shifted accordingly. 

In Him,

Joyful

2-24-26

Take a Breath and get some Rest

Sunday is the day of rest. Even God rested on the seventh day in Genesis. It is necessary for us to refuel, take a pause, and simply be. Ronnie B and I just got home from a ten day trip in our rv. It is comforting to be home and to sleep in our own bed. Yesterday, we unpacked, did laundry, and even had a precious visit from a friend who is family. Then I took the opportunity to catch up with phone calls to people I hadn’t spoken to on our journey. So today may be a pajama day at the Barber’s house. I need to pay a view bills, go through the mail, and do quiet tasks that allow me to rest while being productive.

It may also be a nap day since I have been up since before four am. My home internal clock says get up for Bible study. So off I go to take my first nap of the day at 10am. See you on the other side.

In Him,

Joyful

2-22-26

Spend Time with Jesus, Others, and Yourself it will Fill You

I am doing better at getting my time in the mornings. Even on my last trip, I made time each day. Today, Ronnie B and I take off to Arizona to visit with as much family as possible for the next ten days. But we will be sleeping in our rv, Goldie, so I can take my time before we begin chatting with others. 

This sweet heart message is so true. Building a relationship takes time. Time spent with God keeps Him close and your relationship alive. He is always just a whisper away. 

This trip is to connect with family that we have not seen in far too long. I am especially excited to see some of my dad’s family. Hopefully, my grandgirl, Ami, and I will get to go for a pedicure while we are in Flagstaff. Such fun to see so many in our traveling casita on wheels. We are all packed and after Ron’s work meeting we will be off. I even packed food so we won’t have to just mooch off others but bring in some to contribute. Mike and Deb will host us in Flagstaff, then we will be at Allen’s, then Jimmy and Shawna’s. From there we will play it by ear. It is fun to just park out front with our own bed. This time of year it will be pleasant in Phoenix so we won’t die of the heat. 

Thank you all for your listening. Spend time with Jesus. You will be thankful for it. How? Read your Bible, listen to YouTube podcasts, meet with others for a conversation and prayer, or simply pray and listen to His nudges in your life. It can be as quick as a three word prayer or as deep as a lunch to connect and share faith. My mornings start with Bible study, youtube pastors and speakers, and then sharing my heart with you. Thank you for being a part of my faith walk and my routine. I appreciate each of you who share my heart on this Blog. 

In Him,

Joyful

2-10-26
 

From Our Family to Yours Let the Adventures Begin

 Yesterday, we said goodbye to our 1975 camper van that we purchased in 1994. This fan took our family from Key West, Florida to the Arctic Circle in Alaska. We toted our four kiddos and my mom on too many trips to count. It also served us locally here in New Mexico at baseball games, skiestas, hot air balloon fiestas, and Fourth of July celebrations. We would make hot cocoa to share or just have a place to rest between events. 

Now the Barber Yellow Submarine will get a refresh and bring another family a lot of memories. This is the end of our time together but not the end of our van. It still runs but needs some love. The inside looks as good as when we purchased it. I only wish we could see how the next owners enjoy it. Will it become a camper or a living space? The truth is this old van has a lot of miles left to drive either way. 

We are now onto our new to us rv. Since Ronnie B and I are just the two of us on most of our trips the 2000 Chinook that is now our casita on wheels is the perfect fit. There are nine seatbelts so family can ride along with us but one king size bed for the two of us to share. We have named this Goldie or the Golden Nookie for our senior trips. No doubt, we will travel to family, take it on adventures and even crawl in the back along side a road after a couple beers with friends. In fact, we take off Tuesday to visit family and friends in Arizona where we will sleep outside in front of houses in our own bed after an evening of catching up. 

Ron and I love getting on the road in our little cocoon and spending time together. What a gift it is to have this time together for adventures. The memories of our kids traveling with us are precious but so are the memories we are creating just the two of us.

In Him,

Joyful

2-7-26

Scatter Rather than Gather

 It feels a bit unkind that Ronnie B and I have been taking pictures that my mom wrote on and placed painstakingly into albums out and divvying them up for our kids. Mom always felt a need to write on every picture and place it into albums. She stressed over getting this done. The reason it was such a daunting task was that Mom so many pictures to document our lives. I know dismantling her photo albums is the right thing to do so we can gift each of our kiddos the ones that will mean the most to them. But it still has me quietly asking for mom’s forgiveness. 

Susi says she has albums for each of her kids so they will be able to take them in tact when the time comes. Ron and I put our photos in Rubbermaid bread containers that fit 4x6 pictures perfectly. They are mostly sorted by year and easy to thumb through. When one of our kids comes we encourage them to take any memories with them now. 

As we go through our home ridding out what we no longer need, it is always with the thought of just what our kids and grandkids would want to preserve. There is too much that has been accumulated over almost five decades of marriage for any of them to incorporate into their homes that are already full of their own belongings. Now is the time in our lives to donate more than we keep and beginning yesterday was a good start. It sure makes us miss those who are no longer living and appreciate the times we share with those still here. This started out as a task to clear out our home of our junk that could be someone else’s treasure. It quickly led to us sitting down with photos and memorabilia to reminisce.

Gathering people is the phase of life we are in. Not so much of gathering stuff. My hope is to be quicker with my phone camera to capture a moment than to need a trinket to place on a shelf. Time to scatter what we no longer need and preserve what our kids and grands may want to keep. The truth is that they want very little of what collects dust in our house. That is a truth that we need to keep in mind when we are putting more than less in the donate pile. 

We don’t need Gramma Peabody’s fish tank or tea cups to remember her or our times at her house. But keeping one or two teacups and having a fish tank does remind me of her. Mom’s California Raisin people are fun but my kids passed when I took them to share. So I have been gifting them to friends on their birthdays. After all, as seniors we could be considered raisins with our well earned wrinkles. 

This cleaning out closets used to terrify me since it seemed so overwhelming. But now it feels like a labor of love as well as a hug from the past. Scatter rather than gather is the time of life we are in. So let’s scatter our love and possessions on others and gather new memories along the way. 

In Him,

Joyful

1-25-26

Mom and Dad and the Life We Shared

 My Mom and Dad what a wonderful life they shared. Dad was an adventurer of sorts. Always dreaming up new ventures to bring in money for the family or was it just trying on a variety of hats for the challenge. When I was little we had all sorts of animals but always horses. Dad owned a tavern that mom supported by doing the books. He leased a horse boarding ranch that we all supported and enjoyed. What kid wouldn’t be thrilled to rlde horses as their chore. But mostly, my dad built custom homes for clients that became lifelong friends. Dad’s greatest quality was his generosity which was also the thing about him that drove my mom the craziest. She was after all the bookkeeper and worried where the next pot of gold would come from. But dad always had confidence that he could share whatever he possessed with others. I am proud to say I got my own selfless spirit from my dad. 

Mom and dad shared a love of camping, hunting, and wild parties with family and friends. Their New Year’s Eve parties were legendary for the crazy games they played. I can remember all my aunts and uncles doubled over with laughter during cheeky weeky or leggie weggie. But the risqué one that was epic was under the sheet. I would tell you how it was played but that would be a spoiler alert. The games were innocent with a hint of inappropriate. It was fun when Teri and I were old enough to join the fun and foolery. During leggie weggie I was blindfolded and the other had to feel all the guys calves to identify Ronnie B. I just knew I had found him since he is a runner and the calf I held was muscular. When they removed my blindfold I looked up into my dad’s amused face. It was a moment for sure. 

Mom always supported my dad in all his schemes. Behind the scenes she did the books but also said yes to all his ideas. I love that about my mom. She was not always sure of his ventures being good ideas but she never denied him living life to the fullest. 

Dad was the oldest of ten siblings and mom was the middle of three girls.I cannot remember a time when we weren’t spending time with cousins and family. Growing up in a large family was fabulous. Each house had unique opportunities to share. From Uncle Jim and Aunt Charlotte’s farm where we ran through cornfields to Uncle Bill and Elain’s pool that cooled us in the Phoenix summers, family was always a huge part of our lives. Mom’s family included us in camping trips as well as hunting outings. Yes, we ate venison on a regular basis. It is still not a taste I enjoy but food is food and we were a frugal family for sure. 

Teri and I were the darlings to our parents but they also taught us to help with the care and feeding of the variety of critters dad brought home with mom’s permission. I was always glad when I got to do the horses rather than dishes and house chores. It worked out since my sister was more of a girlie girl so she preferred not mucking out stalls or loading hay. The life we led as kids was magical from getting horses of our own one Christmas to all the times in our uncle’s basement with cousins strewn across the floor watching the Wizard of Oz at Thanksgiving. That was the one time a year that the movie aired. So while aunts and uncles enjoyed one another upstairs the kids were downstairs out of the way. 

I wouldn’t trade my childhood. Mom and Dad made life good for us. Now they are up in heaven along with my sister too soon. To say I miss them is an understatement. But I smile thinking of them up there together with so many family and friends that have passed. Now I am the only one left from our family of four but each of them lives on in me. Right now I am typing this under a lovely teal blanket that was my mom’s she so loved jewel colors. It is like a hug from her while I remember the days together. Someday we will all be reunited but until then I will enjoy my life and those who love me here and now. God is good and has filled my life with family, friends, and my Ronnie B who shares and appreciates who my parents were to me. I love that.

In Him,

Joyful

1-24-26

More Laptime Connections Please

 

Whether it is our daddy’s lap or our mom’s, there is comfort when we crawl up into the protective comfort of their lap. Wiping tears away from a tumble that scraped our knee, to read a story or to let our eyes drift closed into a snuggly nap, the lap is the place to be. It is not always practical to sit on someone else’s lap as we grow into adults that seem to big to perch there. But the warmth of a hug or sitting beside them in an embrace can feel lap like. 

This new year starts with most of us setting long term goals that we will celebrate accomplishing or feel defeated if we fail. Wouldn’t it be lovely to consider what is in our lap this moment and embrace the connection that entails? Although it is good to look into the future to better ourselves, it is also important to see what is right here and now. I don’t want to miss this moment because of a to do list or the bigger picture that is life. As I write this morning snuggled under my soft blanket/throw, my cat is curled up on my lap. She believes it is her task to help me punch the keys on my keyboard. It takes her a bit to calm down and settle into a catnap. The warmth of her resting on my brings me joy. I love the images I have in my memory of time spent on my parent’s laps and of my kids, grandkids, and now greats on mine.

 For my lap to show up means I must sit down. There is simply not a lap present when we are standing, walking or scurrying about. Already the concept of a lap is rest. It is a pause to life to stop being a human doing and relish in being a human being. So here is to more lap time and the connections and conversations that brings. 

In Him,

Joyful

1-6-26