I Want to be IN Cahoots with You so I Don’t Go Insane

 So I guess saying I’m all in has to be clarified. Where the heck am I all in? I think in cahoots seems best since I don’t have to go in alone. After all, I always like to be with someone. It is good i am allowed to take several trip to going insane. That does suggest that I frequently come out of it and that sounds like a good thing, I seem to always return so that may be concerning. What I really like is this play on words. There is a great book about which witch is which. I think it was called The Phantom Tollbooth about the joys of learning and how adults must keep it stimulating. Maybe I should have read it more often since I lived my life in a classroom. 

My greatest joy about being a special ed teacher was I got to do project based learning rather than worksheets. The best year ever was when we did inside out. The idea was to look at many things from the inside out to learn more about them. We took apart balls, tennis, golf, basketball and more to see what was inside and find out why. Then we made stamps with nuts as we learned why some had thicker shells and some crazy wiggles inside. The hint for that is weather. We also took apart electronics to compare and contrast. That got shut down when one of my middle schoolers went to the library to search for how to make a bomb from a microwave. Yes, I had the behavior, autistic and emotional kiddos. The most important inside out was looking at ourselves from the inside and recognizing that we compare our hurts to others outsides that look all perfect and mess free. 

I am so fortunate that I had students and their families for years not semesters. Many are still in my life and for that I am grateful. Although they drove me insane at times I am glad they are not incognito as adults. Sometimes I even get to be in cahoots with my Angelica when we are planning surprises with my Elissa. Now I think I will go in search of my copy of The Phantom Tollbooth and grab a second cup of coffee.

In Him,

Joyful

8-24-26

Keep Our. Hearts Filled with Others until it Overflows

 All those who remain in our hearts even when they are no longer with us is proof that love lives on. Then there are those that we get to continue embracing here and oh what a heart full they provide. It has been so long since some have moved on to await our arrival above yet they continue to fill space in our hearts even in our lives. Yesterday, I saw something completely inappropriate and longed to share it with Ryan. He and I shared an off color humor that I can’t share with just anyone. My son embarrassed me while keeping me in stitches. More times than I can count, I had to cover my smile while trying to maintain a stern, mother appropriate glare. I so wish Ryan and my dad had got the chance to share life here on earth. They would have just got each other. My hope is that they are belly laughing about one another antics in heaven. It will be precious to see the connection they have built when I arrive home one day. 

 The people in our lives that get us and even those who just roll their eyes make life worth living. I love when someone brings out my playfulness and especially when they jump in with both feet. Life is serious. There are difficulties on our journey but it is better to bring joy even in the most painful situations.

 I remember after my dad passed and we were going through photos. We were all tearfully laughing at his antics. Then the phone would ring and we would answer with a cheerful hello. This shocked the person on the other end who expected us to be weeping and sad. We quickly learned to measure our hello so others weren’t thrown off. Then there was the time I found out that even in vitro woutldn’t give Ron and I a baby.  The surgery was done with a tube down my throat. I asked Ron to give me hot tea so I wouldn’t sound sad when we called our parents. Why do we feel the need to hide our emotions? The joy in pain or the pain in a door closing are both better when shared honestly and openly with those who love us. 

Others in our hearts and in our lives is what makes life worth living. This week we will attend a funeral for a son, brother, friend who died way too soon. Even in their grieve there will be laughter. His life will live on in the hearts of many in our little community. Embracing others with love is what healing is all about. Their family will never be quite whole again but they will remember him and move forward knowing he would have loved life if here and he is enjoying the one he is now immersed in with Jesus. I wonder what connections he is making up there with relatives who greeted him and welcomed him into their arms and their hearts. 

Happy in sign language is a gesture that shows a heart overflowing. Happy is when loved ones fill our hearts with love, laughter and memories. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-23-26

My Napoli Grandson, Nabin

Nabin was patiently waiting all summer for Mayve to embrace him. She wouldn’t even give a fist bump. Our two year old is an observer first and can come off as aloof as she navigates her little life. But this picture proves she has perfect timing. This was Nabin’s last day in our home but not the last day in our family. He will forever be a part of the Barber clan. When he wrote in our book that is for overnight visitors to leave a note, he listed Mayve hugging him as one of his most cherished moments of a summer that included more than a few great moments. I love the expressions in this photo. The connection between them is real. His joy at embracing her is written all over his face. 

What an honor it has beeen to have Nabin in our home this summer. This weekend he went to Colorado to meet his precious girlfriend before returning to school in Louisiana. We ate the best curry and fried rice this summer. Nabin is not only has a big heart but he can cook. I just hope I can duplicate some of his dishes. He left me homemade turmeric that far outshines the store bought versions. Having others share our home has been one of the greatest gifts Ronnie B and I have given ourselves. We are gathering family from around the globe through time spent together.

This moment is etched in my mind. This young man will live a life full of connections because of his willingness to embrace others. I am so glad he became a part of our family. He knows he always has a place to stay and a place at our table. Hopefully, with food he prepared to eat. I won’t even try to compete with his dishes. Perhaps next time he will bring his lovely lady who he says is an even better cook than him. Thank you Nabin for a wonderful summer. You were willing to try everything…….except the hot tub! But it has been a pleasure getting to know our Nepali grandson.

In Him,

Joyful

8-17-26

 

Compassion is Key, Faith in Heartcrushing Circumstance

That saying of pull yourself up from your bootstraps and get on with it is advice to tackle life on our own. The better advice may be to pause, pray for wisdom to move in the right response to what life is throwing at us. How many times have I rushed in believing I had the right way to handle a situation only to find out that my haste led me to the wrong actions? The older I get the more often I am aware that even when I know I am right about something, I can be wrong. 

This past weekend a family in our town lost their thirteen year old son to a tragic accident. Oh how I grieve for this family and all involved. Even as our hometown comes together to support this family the rumor mill is also sharing facts about what happened that may or may not be correct. I misremembered a street that I lived on for decades. How could my brain have not known the name of this street? But I knew I knew until someone pointed out that I was mistaken. Others are sure they know the circumstances surrounding this loss and sharing it confidently. First, does it matter? A child died. Second, the truth is not always found in the rumors even if you hear it from a reliable source. After all, I shared a fact about a street name that I lived on and I was wrong. Was I a reliable source? Absolutely not. 

What I know is that a family lost their precious son, brother, friend and are grieving. Our part is to give them the space they need to come together and pray for them. Whatever we can do to support others in a time of need is much more important than knowing the details of what happened and why. This hits close to home for me in a couple ways. When Tanner fell off the eighty foot cliff when he was a fifth grader our same community had many stories of what happened and why. Even though I am his mom and stood at the edge of the cliff while a firefighter brought him up on a backboard, I didn’t know what exactly happened. Even as that twelve year old son of mine is close to turning forty this year, I don’t know all the facts about that day. If I pretend to it is for my peace of mind not because I really understand. Bottom line is I don’t need to know but do need to have all the details. Again when we lost Ryan to suicide there were so many stories about the circumstances. People knew that they knew even as we as Ryan’s family can’t possibly understand all that was in his heart at that moment. Having compassion and loving others in difficult times is what our focus should be. 

Faith is the antidote of fear much more than courage. Someone told me once that they could not survive losing a child. I don’t think anyone has the courage to lose a child but our faith gets us through even the moments that are unbearable. I pray for the families involved in this recent loss. I also pray for those who have a need to know the circumstances rather than just embracing those who are hardly able to breathe from the pain. This is not me lecturing others. My first response was to know all the facts and even to share them. That’s how I know I misremembered a street name. This is me reminding myself that faith and courage are what I need to cling to even when my worst fears are realized. No family should lose a child. That is a fact that I know to be true. Please pray for our town and all who are grieving here. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-12-26

 

Memories are Made at Home or Aboard a Sailboat in Canada

 What a fabulous adventure my Ronnie B is on. I have no regrets not joining this trip with Paul and Cindy. It was the right choice for me to stay home and follow their journey, pictures, and words describing the trip. This photo is impressive of the peaceful voyage they are on. My hope is still to meet them in Victoria and travel the San Juan Islands back to Tacoma. But we will see if they are done and just ready to get back to life on land. Either way I am sure I made the right decision to stay home this time. 

I am currently in Lubbock looking forward to celebrating Kim’s fiftieth birthday and swimming in the hotel pool. Jenn and I came from New Mexico yesterday and will go back home Monday. A three day break from nightly bear activity. It has been a wild summer of bears in Los Alamos. They have been at our house nightly and even got into our mudroom when we carelessly left the door unlatched. Others have had them come in through windows and destroy their kitchens in search of food. We had a late freeze and there is no fruit in LA or White Rock this year. These intruders are just so hungry they are risking all to get a meal. Although I sympathize, I don’t want to share my home with them. 

Ronnie B and I have two more trips planned before the year ends. There is a time for everything. This time I needed/wanted to be home after six weeks in the northwest. But I will be ready to spread my traveling wings come October for Egypt and Kenya. Then we may end up on the Guthrie’s sailboat to the Bahamas for one last journey. The water on that trip will be much more welcoming for me to spend hours swimming. 

What a marvelous life Ron and I are enjoying whether together or miles apart. Life is pretty perfect for these seventy year olds who started out as high school sweethearts many moonrises ago. When I think of life now it is filled with contentment. Is it perfect? Nope. But it is mine and I wouldn’t change a thing. And I can’t wait to hug my Ronnie B whether it is in Canada or back here in New Mexico. I miss him but love the choices we both made this summer. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-8-26

New Beginnings, Connections, and Prayer

Yesterday was a good day. It was an answered prayer day in many ways. Tanner started a fabulous job and Nate got a job offer which will have him starting in a week or two. New beginning for both of these sons of mine. Thanks to all who pray for them and their families. I could tell Tanner was tired but excited at the end of his first day. God is good!

There is a way back from even the darkest moments. Now to continue to pray for my children to be in relationship with one another. God can do all things and even this. The family trips we took when they were young should be a catalyst to conversations. I know it will come until then I will be patient and pray. 

Lots of new beginnings as school starts and families prepare for getting back into routines. Kayla is off to college while her family adjusts to her being a few hours away. Life moves from season to season. I am no longer stepping to the front of a classroom but can spend some time praying for those who are. What a gift my life with students was to me. The beauty is that many of my littles are still in my life as adults, parents, worker bees. Each of us continues to have a role to play even as opportunities shift and change. There wont be lesson plans or behavior goals for me to write but there are other tasks for me to engage in. I hope to stay connected rather than fading into the background. Whether from coffee dates, social media presence, or quietly praying and reminding others I still care. My job is not finished even though I am retired. God gives each of us opportunities in all phases and stages of life. 

Nate and Tanner are beginning new adventures that will plug them into a work family. The right job is not just about a paycheck but who you interact with during your working hours. I pray for these new opportunities and the relationships they will create. Now I need to go sit at the park and let our Cora dog chase birds. Perhaps a new friend will walk by and chat for a bit. Or better yet, I can take her to the dog park and have a meet up with other dog lovers. I hope you have a wonderful day whether you are on a time clock or at coffee with a friend. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-6-26

 

Lovely Days at Home Getting Done What has been on my List for Years

 Oh what a beautiful sunset and now what a glorious morning. Can I share with you my week so far? I have been having a problem adding pictures for a few months. Yes, rather than investigate how to fix the problem I just kept going through useless steps first on this iPad then on iPhone to allow me to post. Well, a couple days ago my phone quit working, So I had no choice to a stop posting pictures or quit blogging. The third choice came to me this morning and I turned to the all knowing YouTube channel to show me what was wrong. When my devices updated it turned on enhanced restrictions. That caused the problem. I was the bigger problem in not figuring it out rather than doing digital cartwheels to do what I wanted on this site. Now I can load a picture on the first step rather than the fortieth. Silly me for not turning to YouTube to figure it out sooner. 

How many of us just deal with the frustrations rather than figuring out the best way to proceed? I know I do this in so many areas of my life. Whether it is YouTube or a trusted friend who knows more than me, I want to get advice to make life simpler from now on. For years Ron has wanted me to figure out how to get new screens for our old prerenovation windows that fit. I have called people and even ordered some that were just not right. Last week, I asked Jon who knows everything about everything and he measured and is going to figure it out. He is more qualified than me period. So I am hopeful that this seemingly impossible task will soon be solved. Then we can open a window without fear of critters flying in. But for now our windows are closed because bigger critters are crawling through our neighborhood’s windows and bears are destroying kitchens to find food. So I will wait patiently for Jon to get the correct screens and hope that next summer open windows will not be dangerous. 

Back to my week while Ronnie B is on his brother and sister-in-laws sailboat traveling around Vancouver Island for a month. I have tackled my upstairs bedroom. Every nook and cranny, drawer and cabinet and taken volumes to thrift stores and dumpsters. Why could anyone possibly need nine bottles of Vicks or enough sweatshirts to wear a different one every day of winter? I got rid of shoes, purses, medications that were dated back to early marriage days. I remind you that we just celebrated our forty-ninth this year. I am embarrassed to say I lost my hearing aids. This morning they are on their charger found in the back of my pj drawer. I could swear I looked there for them multiple times. Maybe the critter that got in my mudroom last night moved them.

It has been a productive week. Now I can die and not have Ron and others realize what a jam it in a spot and forget it person I really am. Angelica knows since she typically is here helping me rid out and organize. But this week I chose to put on my big girl panties or are they old lady panties now and tackle my messes on my own. There are no longer bins under my desk or drawers filled with Bahama money where pens, staples and notepads should be. I feel lighter and less guilty now that things are where they should be and there are reasonable amounts of items for me to live with. 

I hope you are having a fabulous week whether it includes clearing up from bad habits or just sitting on the couch with a good book or good friend relaxing. Next week I plan to begin weaving. Yes Susi, I bought the mini loom as a reward for getting rid of so much that was bogging me down. Until then I will finish up the last loads of laundry and perhaps even make my bed with the sheets that sat in the dryer for days. I am after all still human you know!

In Him,

Joyful

7-31-26