Firefighter, Zach and His Wife Impacted Our Day with Their Act of Kindness

My cup filled with steaming hot, black coffee this morning says just this……..We rise by lifting others. I love this reminder. It is not about tooting our own horn but celebrating the wins of those in our lives. I love that there are people that I can lift up whether a family member, close friend, or a complete stranger in line at the grocery store. Isn’t it true that when someone else points out something specials about us that it makes our day? What a gift we have in our words and gestures to turn a down day into a positive one with a simple statement. 

Yesterday, a firefighter named Zach and his wife made my great grandson’s day at the store. He had been carrying around a firetruck toy that he knew we were not going to purchase. Sometimes just getting to hold a toy is enough to satisfy the desire for it. When we were in line Zach and his wife noticed Caleb and the toy. She said oh that is it. He has to buy it for Caleb. They did just that with fist bumps a promise to visit his fire station and share the book about Caleb’s grandpa. It just so happens that Zach knew of Ryan’s suicide and was glad that I was going to bring a book by his station. I will add to it the picture Elissa took of her son with his toy and the biggest smile. The kindness of this couple impacted to only Caleb and his Noni but the sales clerk and customers that witnessed our interaction. It matters to me when people knew my son, Elissa’s dad and Caleb’s grandpa. It matters that I get to share my book, my testimony of how Jesus walked beside me through the loss of my son. Oh how I wish that Ryan could be here to celebrate Caleb’s fourth birthday next week. But those who surround this little boy with love will remind him of his grandpa who he reminds us of so much. 

Opportunities exist even in a checkout line to life others. Zach and his beautiful wife had no idea the loss our family went through when they decided to buy a toy with a firefighter like Zach himself. But the connection it made came from the interaction. Who knows who God is placing in your life that needs a lift that you can give. Whether it is complimenting someone on the color of their shirt or noticing the smile that says how excited they are about something. There are opportunities that we need to grab rather than ignore. Nobody is offended when you open your mouth and say something kind. Let’s all be more like Zach and his wife. 

By the way, I can’t wait to take Caleb and my book to the fire station by the golf course and pay Zach back for his gesture that meant so much to this Noni’s heart. 

In Him,

Joyful

9-20-26

Stained Glass, Sea Glass, Tapestries that Let’s Our Life Shine Through

 

Just like a stained glass window can shine light through the tapestry of life, a piece of sea glass can weather the surf and come out as a treasure for someone to find. I love the imager of both of these. Jon Guerra wrote a song on stained glass. We are all stained it’s true but when the light shines through we all look like stained glass windows. 

None of us come through life without stains and rough edges. But when we add light and let those sharp sides get softened  even the hardest moments become part of our story. This past week has been filled with thunderstorms that came with downpours or rain and wind that could carry us away. It was so uplifting yesterday when the sun came out and I could get in my Fancypants convertible and let the sun warm my face. I am thankful for the seasons when I get to long for sweater weather after a sunny summer. When I think I can’t take another snowy day the new plants pop up in the garden. 

I remember back to a time that Ron and I were facing infertility and then adoption became our hope. Then our first little boy was returned to his birthmom’s arms. It was heartbreaking and celebratory at the same time. Adoption only works if every heart is at peace with it. Here we are decades later with just the right family. Our four chosen children have families of their own and even grandkiddos for our Ryan. We have older grands that are making their way through college toward their chosen careers and wee ones that are navigating first grade and preschool. It is just as it was meant to be and Ron and I just had to prayrfully believe that God had the right family for us. The beauty of adoption is that our family extends to the birth families that are such an important part of our lives and our story. I love that we have lifelong connections and then those who have just recently found their way into this family that was always theirs through dna. Recently, Cam’s Mom, Tammy, and his sister joined the family. Natalie’s sister on her birth father’s side came into our lives. She calls me Noni-ish since their is not really a word for our relationship. I love this growing family that Ron and I believed for and that is now the biggest part of our heart. 

Our story goes on like the tumbling of seaslass it gets smoother and more beautiful through the breakers. Nobody promises life will be easy but the fact that we don’t walk the shore alone is what makes even the stormy days beautiful. One can think of life as stained glass, sea glass, or a tapestry that is quilts scraps of leftover material into a warm, lovely gift. Jesus and those he places in our lives never leave us alone but are always present for an encouraging word and a much needed embrace. Oh did I leave out the laughter? Yes, the fun, foolery and laughter are also a light whether it is with little kiddos or old age mishaps. 

In Him,

Joyful

9-19-26

Psalm 139:23-34 A Daily Prayer on my Phone Just for Me

 I am putting this as the wallpaper on my phone. It is a prayer that I want to be reminded to pray everyday. This one is for me. Too often I hear God through the filter of how it can benefit others never really internalizing the verse for myself. This needs to penetrate my heart and returning to it day after day will help it do just that. I need God to reveal to me what is stealing my peace that keeps me from Him. What is it that I continue to hold tightly in my grip and why don’t I simply let it go and trust God with it? 

It cannot possibly be that I think I have more love or understanding of the circumstance that I am not releasing. Also, my head knows that God loves those I love even more than I could ever love them. He is also much more powerful and all knowing on how to resolve any given situation. But here I sit still clinging to my mom can fix it wand believing if I say the right thing or do the next step to solve a problem that it will somehow fix it. Clearly my efforts have not succeeded in the past. What makes me think my new efforts will prove more effective than what God can do? Too often I let it go just to snatch it back from His capable hands. It is exhausting!

This morning I was listening to a wise 98 year old pastor who shared this verse. I know I have read this verse often over the years. But his prompting to repeat it and let it hit my heart every day made me have hope. Hope that I can let God search my heart for what I need to lay down and what that letting go of can do for my relationship with Him. I want to rest in His peace, to dwell in His grace and trust in His love and kindness. It needs to hit my heart again and again that He has not only my life but the lives of my children and grandchildren in His most capable hands. This I believe but also hope to put firmly in my heart so I can rest. 

I highly recommend The Old Pastor’s Table as a YouTube channel that is filled with wisdom for a seventy year old like me but also for younger ones among you. This one I watched this morning and it had not only practical wisdom but verses that pointed to God’s will for my life. 

https://youtu.be/QCEuJgWPJa8?is=Bc1tJP0cX-7EzEn- 

Let me end with a reminder to myself. Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. He loves me and knows my worries, my wants, and my heart for others. I don’t ever need to carry these on my own but trust Him with not only my salvation but my entire heart. He has this. I can let go of the rope and let Him have it from now on. 

In Him,

Joyful

9-18-26

Adult Everyday Doesn’t Mean No Time for Rest

 Gone are the play dates where we just have to hop in our car seat and be driven to a friend’s for hours of play. Yet, it is simple for us to make a call and show up to go for a walk or a cup of coffee and catch up with a friend. 

Gone are the recesses where running for a swing hand in hand with a best classmate makes getting an empty one side by side so special. But we can tag along for a doctor’s appointment and chat on the way. Then we can be there as a second pair of ears and support whatever the physical uncovers. 

Gone are the sleepovers cuddled up with friends on our backyard trampoline believing that the shooting stars that light up the sky are just for us. Who knew that people all over the world are also marveling at them in early August. But the sharing of pictures of family and the encouragement of complimenting a fresh haircut can be just as magical. 

I am not envying my childhood years and that includes smooth, wrinkle free skin and an abundance of energy. Adulting has seasons. Some are hectic with tasks to complete while our homes are full of wee ones. Others fade into quiet mornings and time to read the book we pick up. Yes, in every season we have to live each day. How I wish I would have recognized sooner that adulting doesn’t mean never taking a much deserved break. Tasks must get completed but too often we put a lot of those on our plates that don’t need to be there. Busy is good. But rest is also important. They say you can’t see the forest for the trees. How often we miss connections because of getting everything accomplished for everyone. 

Slow down. Not give up. But don’t wait till you are seventy to spend quiet time. Embrace moments even in the chaos of jobs, family and sports schedules. You need to practice now so you will be an accomplished rested when the time comes. 

In Him,

Joyful

9-15-25

Our Millie Girl is Five!

 Happy, happy, happy fifth birthday to our rambunctious Millie. She is such a delight always exploring and trying new adventures. One of her favorite things is to spend time in Noni and Papa’s rv. Whether watching a movie, having a snack or just pretending to drive us on a road trip this girl can spend hours in our little casita on wheels. 

I love getting to spend time with this grandgirl who has so much enthusiasm for life and is always up to try anything. Having adult size siblings has encouraged her to jump in and do whatever they are doing. Everyone should be blessed with five grownups who adore you and encourage you to succeed.

So happy birthday Millie. Noni and Papa love you and are excited to see how you celebrate your big day.

In Him,

                                                    Joyful

                                                    9-14-26

Reframing How I Recieve

Cherilynn shared this magical photo of a lunar eclipse on Facebook. I absolutely love it! It made me think of how different our perspectives are in life. Most took their photo straight up looking only at the sky and capturing the moon in it. While my friend gave the moon a natural frame which totally shifted the perspective. 

I have been doing my best to reframe moments in my life that caused me pain. It is healthier to consider another person’s perspective than to put my own spin on their intentions. How do I know their motives? But I can get caught up in the negative feelings about a situation rather than asking them for clarification or just believing the best about them. 

One of the most painful things I have encountered is having my heart misunderstood. Yet, I do that to others without giving them a chance to explain. What a waste of time and emotions. It damages my connection with them and shakes my confidence in myself. So I am trying to believe the best in others motives. Perhaps I need to be more of a Cherilynn photographer than a straight shot photo capturer. Such a beautiful way to see the world and to see others. 

 Capturing beauty in even the little things is a gift that I want to lean into. What a peaceful way to live. Lately, I have been sitting out on my backporch during the afternoon thunderstorms. For me the thunder and lightning is a majestic reminder of how God nourishes our world. Across the street Percy cowers and shakes out of the fear of the storm. How often I tremble in fear or shed tears over another’s misspoken word. It is possible to brush off hurts or get the truth about their intentions. Maybe they do have a problem with me that I need to explore or perhaps their word was not received as they meant it to be. Either way, I need to see the beauty in even a tiny spider web. After all, we are all connected even when one of us may be supper for the other. Thank you Cherilynn for sharing your talent and perspective with me. You are a true visionary.

In Him,

Joyful

9-9-26

By the way……Susi is older than me! Happy 71st bday my friend. 

Enjoying the Me that I am Today

I hate to admit that as I reached my seventieth birthday, it occurs to me that I was more critical than approving pictures of myself. How often did I slip behind others because I felt fat? Or shunned away from an opportunity to get a photo with a loved one because I didn’t have on makeup or my hair was a mess, it is rare when a person is happy with what their mirror reveals and that breaks my heart. I spent too much time believing that I was not the pretty one. I allowed that perception to steal my joy rather than embracing the moment. 

Here I am with white hair and more wrinkles than I thought possible but when I look at the me in this picture, I see beauty. Funny that what society would say had lost the sparkle is me now seeing my own. 

Life is not only about how we see ourselves on the outside but who we are and how we see ourselves as we relate to others and how we live our lives. Recently, I have been looking back on the accomplishments of the years that got me to this place. I am beyond grateful that I got to be Ronnie B’s wife and my kid’s mom. That I was able to impact families of my students and Young Life kids is one of my most treasured honor. 

Sometimes you hear the question if we could advise our younger self what would we say.  Well, I would say accept yourself. Love and embrace just how God made you. Don’t worry if your hair is too thin or your knees are knocked. Rather love yourself inside and out. Then I would tell myself to forgive me for missteps because they may take me down the wrong path but they also will teach me lessons I need to learn. Lastly, I would remind myself to focus on the gifts of life rather than the what ifs that may or may not happen. 

Matthew 22:39 says to love others as you love yourself. So it is God’s plan that I love myself so that I can love others and form the connections that make life so rich. It is not being conceited or arrogant to recognize the gifts God created in me that can bring others to Him. 

Here I sit writing on my iPad on my back porch with my coffee beside me and my dog and cat competing for my attention. It is so still right now. No kiddos are playing at the park behind my house. There is just silence as I look out over our yard. I love being seventy, wrinkles and all. There are more years behind me than in front of me and I am at peace with that. What I hope is that I enjoy these moments, reflect on the more hectic ones of raising kids, and know that whatever my future holds will be mine to press into. Missing my kids has been replaced with enjoying the quiet time I get to spend with Jesus rather than rushing everyone off to school. Spending so much time with Ron and knowing how fortunate we are to still enjoy each other all these decades later. There is time to read, have coffee with friends, walk our Cora, and just sip coffee as the sun rises between the trees. 

The photo in this post does not look like my senior photo but I find it more beautiful in so many ways. Life has been challenging and there have been heart crushing losses along the way. But God has always been with me to take the next steps. Here I am a wife, friend, mother, grandmother and even great grandmother who gets to spend time with those I love. There is nothing not to like about Barbara Friedman Barber at seventy. I only wish I would have recognized how fabulous I am when I was much younger. But maybe I needed those doubts to get me to the peace I have with myself today. So I will pat myself on the back, smile at myself in the mirror and stand out front for the photo. I hope you will do the same whatever season of life you are in.

In Him,

Joyful

9-7-26