Confession is about Letting Someone In

Confession isn’t about letting something out. It is about letting someone in. You might have made a mistake but you are not a mistake. 
 What does God say about me in my mistake? These are all questions Rich Wilkerson posed in his teaching this morning. It is important to trust someone with even your darkest thoughts and moments. But remember it is not about shouting it from a rooftop for all to hear and judge. That won’t bring you comfort or resolution. What you need to do is share with that one person who will guide you, advice you and love you through the darkness. The whole goal of sharing is to come out of the tunnel and back into the light. If your strategy is to seek advice or acceptance on social media or in a crowded room, I am afraid you will not achieve your goal. After the smoke clears others will still be judging your decisions. Bring your concern, sin, misstep to that one person you can trust with your life, your messes, and your sin. When you step out into the light this person will see the strength you showed not the wrong you walked through. Choose well. Choose one. You don’t need to poll everyone to know how to move forward. You need that one trusted friend who is more family than even those with the same blood. 

This teaching that touched me so powerfully this morning was divinely timed. Just yesterday I took a handwringing worry to a sister. She listened, advised, and loved me even in my pain. If you don’t have a person in your life like that, be that person for someone else. Then when you are in need they will bee there for you just the same. 

The worst thing we can do is walk alone through a fear or tragedy. Build a network of trusted confidants to circle you through good times and bad. Most importantly is the faith that this will remain between you and not be shared. You don’t need an army for most problems. But two heads are better than one. Bouncing off your next steps helps you to have confidence that you are on the right path and the clarity to see if you are going down the wrong one. 

Trust your gut and pray for not only the solutions to your situation but the right person to confide in. Then move toward the light with confidence together.. Prayerfully consider who you let in. Then both of you pray for wisdom to move forward together. Putting Christ in the center of your relationship and your journey is key. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-28-26

Let Love and Kindness be the Motivation in all We Do……….That is how Dolly Lived!

 Oh what an incredible example for all of us on how to live, how to love and how to walk in faith. When everyone was wearing the WWJD bracelets to remind the what would Jesus do and how to live life, Dolly was walking those steps. Her mission here on earth was to bring joy to each of our lives through her moving songwriting, angelic voice, uplifting performances or her heart for allowing every child to read. Dolly is one of the examples of what Jesus did while he walked among us. The other is Jimmy Carter for his love and kindness through Habitat for Humanity. 

The people that we look up to as not heros but illustration of how to treat others should never fade. There are those who didn’t have the global impact that Dolly had but that just show us in their everyday kindnesses. What a gift it is when we live selflessly. It is not a gift to others as much as to ourselves. I am convinced Dolly would say she gained more than she gave because of her generous, joy filled life.

Her rewards are not only those she receives now in heaven but the moments she connected with others here on earth.She truly did live out 1 Corinthians 16:14 which happens to be my life goal verse. Let love and kindness be the motivation in all you do. When this is our measuring stick, we lean into the fruits of the spirit rather than getting caught up in the worldly gossip, judgement, and exclusion. What each of us does in our daily walk matters to others but in living out this verse we give the greatest gift to ourselves. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-28-26

Yes, We are all Lovely and Should be Proud of Who We are in this Moment!

 We need to be more like two year olds. Mayve is thrilled with her new outfit. She just oozes confidence, joy and a knowing she is lovely. Her favorite is the faux fur vest that she can pet and enjoy. Don’t we need to pose for pictures not hiding behind others because we don’t like our weight but standing tall and proud of who we are in this moment. Wrinkles, gray hair and crepey skin are all evidence that we have lived life and not just endured but flourished. Yes, the pictures of us in our later years are not the same as the one from our high school yearbook. But think about what we have accomplished and weathered along this life path. It is beautiful to be eighteen but also beautiful to be a Noni and great-grandmother who may not be as adorable as a two year old but can have the joy in our eyes that Mayve does. 

Let’s start celebrating life and embracing the image in the mirror. Most importantly get in the pictures. You don’t need to always be behind the camera. Our families love us and want us to show up in their lives but also in the photos that are memories of precious moments. So here is to us as new moms, senior citizens or at every moment of our path. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-25-26

I Want to be IN Cahoots with You so I Don’t Go Insane

 So I guess saying I’m all in has to be clarified. Where the heck am I all in? I think in cahoots seems best since I don’t have to go in alone. After all, I always like to be with someone. It is good i am allowed to take several trip to going insane. That does suggest that I frequently come out of it and that sounds like a good thing, I seem to always return so that may be concerning. What I really like is this play on words. There is a great book about which witch is which. I think it was called The Phantom Tollbooth about the joys of learning and how adults must keep it stimulating. Maybe I should have read it more often since I lived my life in a classroom. 

My greatest joy about being a special ed teacher was I got to do project based learning rather than worksheets. The best year ever was when we did inside out. The idea was to look at many things from the inside out to learn more about them. We took apart balls, tennis, golf, basketball and more to see what was inside and find out why. Then we made stamps with nuts as we learned why some had thicker shells and some crazy wiggles inside. The hint for that is weather. We also took apart electronics to compare and contrast. That got shut down when one of my middle schoolers went to the library to search for how to make a bomb from a microwave. Yes, I had the behavior, autistic and emotional kiddos. The most important inside out was looking at ourselves from the inside and recognizing that we compare our hurts to others outsides that look all perfect and mess free. 

I am so fortunate that I had students and their families for years not semesters. Many are still in my life and for that I am grateful. Although they drove me insane at times I am glad they are not incognito as adults. Sometimes I even get to be in cahoots with my Angelica when we are planning surprises with my Elissa. Now I think I will go in search of my copy of The Phantom Tollbooth and grab a second cup of coffee.

In Him,

Joyful

8-24-26

Keep Our. Hearts Filled with Others until it Overflows

 All those who remain in our hearts even when they are no longer with us is proof that love lives on. Then there are those that we get to continue embracing here and oh what a heart full they provide. It has been so long since some have moved on to await our arrival above yet they continue to fill space in our hearts even in our lives. Yesterday, I saw something completely inappropriate and longed to share it with Ryan. He and I shared an off color humor that I can’t share with just anyone. My son embarrassed me while keeping me in stitches. More times than I can count, I had to cover my smile while trying to maintain a stern, mother appropriate glare. I so wish Ryan and my dad had got the chance to share life here on earth. They would have just got each other. My hope is that they are belly laughing about one another antics in heaven. It will be precious to see the connection they have built when I arrive home one day. 

 The people in our lives that get us and even those who just roll their eyes make life worth living. I love when someone brings out my playfulness and especially when they jump in with both feet. Life is serious. There are difficulties on our journey but it is better to bring joy even in the most painful situations.

 I remember after my dad passed and we were going through photos. We were all tearfully laughing at his antics. Then the phone would ring and we would answer with a cheerful hello. This shocked the person on the other end who expected us to be weeping and sad. We quickly learned to measure our hello so others weren’t thrown off. Then there was the time I found out that even in vitro woutldn’t give Ron and I a baby.  The surgery was done with a tube down my throat. I asked Ron to give me hot tea so I wouldn’t sound sad when we called our parents. Why do we feel the need to hide our emotions? The joy in pain or the pain in a door closing are both better when shared honestly and openly with those who love us. 

Others in our hearts and in our lives is what makes life worth living. This week we will attend a funeral for a son, brother, friend who died way too soon. Even in their grieve there will be laughter. His life will live on in the hearts of many in our little community. Embracing others with love is what healing is all about. Their family will never be quite whole again but they will remember him and move forward knowing he would have loved life if here and he is enjoying the one he is now immersed in with Jesus. I wonder what connections he is making up there with relatives who greeted him and welcomed him into their arms and their hearts. 

Happy in sign language is a gesture that shows a heart overflowing. Happy is when loved ones fill our hearts with love, laughter and memories. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-23-26

My Napoli Grandson, Nabin

Nabin was patiently waiting all summer for Mayve to embrace him. She wouldn’t even give a fist bump. Our two year old is an observer first and can come off as aloof as she navigates her little life. But this picture proves she has perfect timing. This was Nabin’s last day in our home but not the last day in our family. He will forever be a part of the Barber clan. When he wrote in our book that is for overnight visitors to leave a note, he listed Mayve hugging him as one of his most cherished moments of a summer that included more than a few great moments. I love the expressions in this photo. The connection between them is real. His joy at embracing her is written all over his face. 

What an honor it has beeen to have Nabin in our home this summer. This weekend he went to Colorado to meet his precious girlfriend before returning to school in Louisiana. We ate the best curry and fried rice this summer. Nabin is not only has a big heart but he can cook. I just hope I can duplicate some of his dishes. He left me homemade turmeric that far outshines the store bought versions. Having others share our home has been one of the greatest gifts Ronnie B and I have given ourselves. We are gathering family from around the globe through time spent together.

This moment is etched in my mind. This young man will live a life full of connections because of his willingness to embrace others. I am so glad he became a part of our family. He knows he always has a place to stay and a place at our table. Hopefully, with food he prepared to eat. I won’t even try to compete with his dishes. Perhaps next time he will bring his lovely lady who he says is an even better cook than him. Thank you Nabin for a wonderful summer. You were willing to try everything…….except the hot tub! But it has been a pleasure getting to know our Nepali grandson.

In Him,

Joyful

8-17-26

 

Compassion is Key, Faith in Heartcrushing Circumstance

That saying of pull yourself up from your bootstraps and get on with it is advice to tackle life on our own. The better advice may be to pause, pray for wisdom to move in the right response to what life is throwing at us. How many times have I rushed in believing I had the right way to handle a situation only to find out that my haste led me to the wrong actions? The older I get the more often I am aware that even when I know I am right about something, I can be wrong. 

This past weekend a family in our town lost their thirteen year old son to a tragic accident. Oh how I grieve for this family and all involved. Even as our hometown comes together to support this family the rumor mill is also sharing facts about what happened that may or may not be correct. I misremembered a street that I lived on for decades. How could my brain have not known the name of this street? But I knew I knew until someone pointed out that I was mistaken. Others are sure they know the circumstances surrounding this loss and sharing it confidently. First, does it matter? A child died. Second, the truth is not always found in the rumors even if you hear it from a reliable source. After all, I shared a fact about a street name that I lived on and I was wrong. Was I a reliable source? Absolutely not. 

What I know is that a family lost their precious son, brother, friend and are grieving. Our part is to give them the space they need to come together and pray for them. Whatever we can do to support others in a time of need is much more important than knowing the details of what happened and why. This hits close to home for me in a couple ways. When Tanner fell off the eighty foot cliff when he was a fifth grader our same community had many stories of what happened and why. Even though I am his mom and stood at the edge of the cliff while a firefighter brought him up on a backboard, I didn’t know what exactly happened. Even as that twelve year old son of mine is close to turning forty this year, I don’t know all the facts about that day. If I pretend to it is for my peace of mind not because I really understand. Bottom line is I don’t need to know but do need to have all the details. Again when we lost Ryan to suicide there were so many stories about the circumstances. People knew that they knew even as we as Ryan’s family can’t possibly understand all that was in his heart at that moment. Having compassion and loving others in difficult times is what our focus should be. 

Faith is the antidote of fear much more than courage. Someone told me once that they could not survive losing a child. I don’t think anyone has the courage to lose a child but our faith gets us through even the moments that are unbearable. I pray for the families involved in this recent loss. I also pray for those who have a need to know the circumstances rather than just embracing those who are hardly able to breathe from the pain. This is not me lecturing others. My first response was to know all the facts and even to share them. That’s how I know I misremembered a street name. This is me reminding myself that faith and courage are what I need to cling to even when my worst fears are realized. No family should lose a child. That is a fact that I know to be true. Please pray for our town and all who are grieving here. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-12-26