Let My Seventies Begin

I am beyond blessed. It has been a beautiful, emotional, and family-filled April so far. These beautiful flowers are from my sweet Freedom who always says and does the kindest things. She makes me feel special and loved. Her words are those I hope to focus on rather than the negatives I tend to put in my own head. I hope that I can live a life that matches the woman she sees in me. 

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of joy, grief, and community. Ronnie B and I drove to Northern California to celebrate a life that was just short of a century. Aunt Helen was an example of a life well lived through hard work and family. The next week I was honored to speak for my friend Pat at her life celebration. She also was evidence of the impact we all can make through the carefully chosen stitches of her quilts. Her humble generosity and tireless work wrapped others in the love and warmth of her faith and calling. 

Often the loss I experience in life also gives me an opportunity to reflect on my own life and how I am choosing to live. Touching others and the connections are what impacts those around me. Saying yes to opportunities to serve, to connect, share my faith, and to love is the value of life. It is important for me to lean in and embrace opportunities that come but also create those opportunities. 

I have a friend who has shared the impact of aging in a couple of her friends. One is wringing her hands and fretting about everything rather than trusting her life and the ones she loves with Jesus’ love and ability to use even the most difficult circumstances for good. Another moves farther away from others and isolates while making her world smaller and smaller. That is not how I want to move into my seventies. I am already not inclined to be a yes person. So my concern is that I will move away from others rather than toward them. Being intentional in how I spend my time and energy is the way to age well. Am I slowing down in life? Absolutely. But I am grateful for others in life who lift me out of my aloneness and thrust me into community. 

There are new relationships in my life and I am so grateful for the Tubbies for their getting together weekly to hang out and sip a beer or a cider. Go out and find a group to be a part of. Whether it is a church family, a common interest like a book club, or a group of people in their sixties to nineties enjoying a drink together. Find a group to be a part of. This was unexpected for me. These people who have moved from strangers to acquaintances and now some into a family of friends. It has given me the opportunity to make a call to have lunch or coffee with others one on one and really get to know them. 

At Pat’s life celebration, I ended my sharing with Matthew 25:21 Well done my good and faithful servant. There will be time for rest in my seventies, time for gathering with old friends and new, and time for serving others even now. I may not be able to help you move furniture any longer but I can listen and pray. I can pick up the phone to encourage others and connect. I can bake cookies like Heather for those who are celebrating and those who are crushed. I can pray with you and for you and let you pray for me. My seventies are the beginning of my next chapter in life. I am the one who gets to write this next part of my story. So I joined the Tubbies, the gym, and am walking Cora with Ronnie B once again. Who knows where my next deep friendship will develop? What I know for sure is that sitting on my couch playing games on my phone won’t move me to connecting with others and living out my life verse. Let love and kindness be the motivation in all you do. 1 Corinthians 16:14. This is not only how I treat others but also myself. So expect a text or phone call from me. Or hit me up for an adventure. Today I am driving Fancy Pants, my convertible Miata, down for lunch. One friend will let the wind blow through her hair on the way down and another will ride back with me. Who knew indulging my desire for a sports car would be so fabulous. God knows. I just have to listen. It is chilly out today but no worries. My car has heated seats and a great heater. So let the ride begin.

In Him,

Joyful

4-22-26

Oops! I Said it Again

 Ok, that is a bit of a stretch but I do have random thoughts at all times. It is true that some, not all, of them need to be shared. I am learning that the weirder they are the more selective I must be in choosing who to share them with. There are laws you know about when, where and to whom we share our inappropriate thoughts. 

A couple days ago, Jenn showed me a video from a couple years ago. I was at the doctor and she and Lissa were with me. They were both on their phones while we waited for Michelle, my friend and primary care to come into the room. In the video I started chuckling and said…….Don’t make me laugh Barb. Ok, yes I was talking to myself. These are two people I am most willing to share what probably should not be shared so either it was that bad or I recognized they were engaged elsewhere. I ended up having a herniated disc and was in so much pain. It just shows even agony doesn’t stop the weirdness in my head. 

Natalie says that my randomness is an attribute that she loves about me. Here I am a seventy year old, great-grandmother and I still can’t control my mind. Perhaps it is time to quit trying and just embrace who I am and hope that as I age my filter of when and with whom to share doesn’t slip. I would hate to spend my eighties in prison for offending the wrong person. 

So can I just ask if I am the only one? Do you think about asking strangers for a bite of their food or if you can get a picture with them? Does it cross your mind to give candy or cards to people you encounter but do not know? No, I am not that weird….I don’t give candy to children from my car. Even I have my guardrails. I send puns to my grandkids and scratch my head when one is a bit over the top for a teen from their Noni. The last one I sent was within the acceptable range. Sure, Alexander Graham Bell was great, but I’m more impressed with his brother Taco. Innocent, not off color and it passed the sniff test. Chalk up one for Noni. 

So I will continue being me and listen to Ronnie B when he says Filters, Noni, Fiters. Because each of us and especially me needs that person who cares enough to be the filter that doesn’t quite work as well as it should. Thank you Ron but you don’t need to shush me from my peeps that may roll their eyes but love me in spite of my wandering mind and words that escape. Love you all and thank you for your generous acceptance. 

In Him,

Joyful

4-20-26

70 will Surely be the Best Decade Yet!

 Apparently, I am no longer in my 60s. I love that my grandgirl decided to celebrate me with this gathering. This seventy decade promises to be the best one yet. Not that I didn’t enjoy each decade along the path to this one. They all had their own joys and heartaches but ultimately led me to who I am today and the community I get to enjoy. 

Before this birthday,  believed that 40 was the best and it was. All my kids still lived at home under one roof. I knew that by 50 they would be out finding their own path so I relished our time as a family of six. 

Those were the good old days and here I am heading into my older days as a retired Noni to grands and great grands.What a gift to have Ronnie B, the love of my life, beside me to enjoy a beer at our hometown pub, trips overseas and in our Chinook casita on wheels, and all the family and friends that make up our community along the way. 

A couple days ago I was treated to a massage. It was incredibly relaxing as well as eye opening. Here I am at 70 and I have no chronic pain, no incontinence (tmi), and a health that I doubted only a few years ago when I was tethered to oxygen. Well, the oxygen is just at night now and I have joined a gym and walking with Ronnie B once again. That season of long covid taught me that the world won’t fall apart if I slow down and don’t micromanage every little thing. 

There is more time for Bible studies, writing and hopefully podcasting at some point. I love the life I live now and am so grateful for all the life that has come before to get me to this moment. The heartbreak of losing our son and too many loved ones have had silver linings that we never expected. Losing Ryan gave Ron and me the opportunity to walk beside other families through loss. It provided me with a boldness to share my faith through the journey of losing Ry with the book of blog entries that catalog how Christ stayed close through the decade after. Easter Sunday, tomorrow, marks sixteen years since we lost our son. The lessons we learned and the lives our story has touched could never bring Ryan back into our arms but we know that it matters that we shared our grief and faith with others. So I want to share a few lyrics from a song that is my truth about what the future holds for each of us when we are finished having earthly birthdays. 

This is our last goodbye. 

We won’t have to say it again.

The next time we meet in heaven we will be.

This is our last goodbye. 

Last Goodbye Spotify

Until then, I look forward to life in my seventies and hope I am still sharing my stories at eighty and beyond. Today will be a glorious day of good food, friendships, and a whole lot of laughter. I guess it is time to jump in the shower and get ready for the decorating crew to arrive. I will post pictures in case you aren’t here in person. Again, thank you for reading my heart, my faith and my story.

In Him,

Joyful

4-4-1956 oops! 2026

Ronnie B and Me Springtime!

I just love that spring is popping up everywhere. The colors and smells of this season just brings joy to my heart. Along with the new blooms comes the tasks that bring me outside to bask in the warmth and sunshine. It is pleasant to be clearing out the old growth getting ready for the new. Ronnie B and I planted jasmine, forsythias, and lilacs last weekend. We power sprayed the porch to rid it of cobwebs and started planning for the flowerbeds that will add color to our summer. What a gift that we are healthy enough to be enjoying life as we get ready to enter our 70s. I truly believe this is going to be the best decade ever!

 

I Appreciate Your Prayers

 How do you be there for someone but not overstep? I want to be available to Pat’s daughter who just lost her mom. This is a time when it is all about Stacey and her kids. Losing Ryan taught me that at a time of heart crushing grief, it is hard to be honest about what I needed. Stacey has lost not one parent but now two. While she was busy planning for her dad’s service next weekend she lost her mom suddenly and unexpectedly. While she prepares for relatives and friends for her father she is also meeting with the church and having her mom cremated. How can that be? Too much for anyone to handle. 

So I want to go with her to the church and support her. But I don’t want to be one more person for her to deal with. It is about her not about me. So how do I convey that to her. So she can be honest that she needs me or that it would be too much to have me there. 

Isn’t it hard sometimes to read if our good intentions get in the way of what others need? All this to say that I would like prayers to know whether I am journeying to Albuquerque tomorrow or staying here to pray for my sweet friend’s daughter as she navigates the impossible. Thanks ahead of time for your prayers not only for me but for Pat’s family and loved ones. 

In Him,

Joyful

3-29-26

My Two Pats are Together Enjoying a Heavenly Reunion

 My two Pats………Oh how I envy you spending time together in heaven. There was a bond there that I got to enjoy. You two were my yes gals and prompted me to say yes rather than no to the joyful life experiences. 

My mom never said no but yes let’s do that. When I called her up in Arizona and told her she should pick up Elissa and drive to New Mexico so we could take Natalie to Tennessee, she said okay I am already packing. That resulted in a two week adventure on roads we would never have traveled if not for Mom’s yes. We taught Elissa to swim in the hotel pools and got Natalie to Dollywood for her summer mission. As I get older, I need to remember to consider the yes and not knee jerk my response of a no. 

Sunday the 22nd of March, Pat had a wonderful day with her daughter’s family. It was a day of connecting, laughter and great food. Then on the way home she had a stroke and got to meet her Jesus face to face. What a way to travel to heaven. No long illnesses just here enjoying life and then in His presence reuniting with all those who are already there to greet her. I am heartbroken for myself that Pat is no longer here. She is one of my first calls for prayers or to share the joys of life. Even now I wish I could call her to tell her how much I am going to miss her constant presence in my life.

 Pat was the heart that touched all my kids from the time they were young. A couple years ago, Natalie stayed at Pat’s while she went to school in Albuquerque. Her home was always a refuge and open to all who needed a place to stay. I could just go and crawl into my bed at her home without having to explain that I couldn’t speak but needed to be in her presence. Pat never demanded. She just loved and was available. When Ryan died, I put her in charge of making sure I went to the bathroom. That sounds strange but she took her job seriously. On one occasion as I was dashing off to check off a task, she called me into the hallway. My first thought was what now! Then she hugged me and told me to go potty before doing the next thing. I love her for that. I love her for loving me and my kids. I love her for the quilts she lovingly created that keep me toasty warm and hugged by her even now. I love her for the laughter and the figuring out problems together, for the prayers, for the bologna, cheese, and potato chip sandwiches, for the rest and comfort. I love her. 

I am a bit jealous of her trip to heaven so flawlessly. If I could sign up for my exit plan, I would copy Pat’s. She touched so many with her lovely quilts and open heart. I hope to be more like her when I turn seventy in a couple weeks. She had seventy years here and used them well to love others and share Jesus’ love with them. Her faith was clear in the way she lived and the way she loved. Good job my friend, my sister, you finished well. I adore you. Give Mom and Ryan a hug from me.

In Him,

Joyful

3-24-26

Mom’s Day~Friday the 13th

My mom loved Friday the 13th. She thought it was a lucky day made just for her. Lottery ticket purchased check. She looked forward to these special Fridays almost as much as her birthday which was on the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. That also made mom feel extra special. I adore how my mom could celebrate what may likely cause other people pause. We never had a black cat but it would have been her choice if she ever actually owned a cat. 

With the approach of spring, I am feeling nostalgic and remembering all the joys that were my mom. Yesterday, my great grandson got down her bells from a shadow box that she loved. He paused at a picture of her, turned to me, and stated confidently……..this is your mom, Noni. Somehow I have shared my mom with this thoughtful three year old that I cherish. Then the bell concert began. Mom collected bells and would have loved to join in with her great, great grandkids. 

In a couple of weeks, I turn seventy and begin another decade of life. My mom was someone who embraced life through all its seasons. Even in her eighties mom was full of love and adventure. She was always up for a road trip with Elissa and me. It was obvious that our Siri gps was an actual person. That is why she worried that the voice she heard belonged to someone who never had time off. Naturally, I began changing the voice on my phone so mom didn’t need to be concerned about the lack of days off that Siri got. She also loved where she lived which was also obvious on our road trips. Whether we were driving through downtown San Francisco or out in farm country mom let us know she would not want to live there. San Fransisco had too many people and too much traffic while the farmlands were filled with women who had to work way too hard at life. It got to be so prevalent that Elissa began recording each time mom stated she wouldn’t want to live somewhere. Her young girl travel journal was filled with checkmarks of her Grandma Pat wanting to live right at home not in one of the many places we passed through. 

I miss my mom this week as our Aunt Helen went to be with her heavenly family. It is easy to see her kids knowing that the days forward will be filled with memories of the woman they adore. 

I look forward to my next chapter of life with family and friends and treasure the life lived with those kicking up their heels in heaven with my mom and Ryan. Even that chapter holds promise. Until then our adventures make me smile Mom. 

In Hum, 

Joyful

3-13-26