Mom’s Day~Friday the 13th

My mom loved Friday the 13th. She thought it was a lucky day made just for her. Lottery ticket purchased check. She looked forward to these special Fridays almost as much as her birthday which was on the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. That also made mom feel extra special. I adore how my mom could celebrate what may likely cause other people pause. We never had a black cat but it would have been her choice if she ever actually owned a cat. 

With the approach of spring, I am feeling nostalgic and remembering all the joys that were my mom. Yesterday, my great grandson got down her bells from a shadow box that she loved. He paused at a picture of her, turned to me, and stated confidently……..this is your mom, Noni. Somehow I have shared my mom with this thoughtful three year old that I cherish. Then the bell concert began. Mom collected bells and would have loved to join in with her great, great grandkids. 

In a couple of weeks, I turn seventy and begin another decade of life. My mom was someone who embraced life through all its seasons. Even in her eighties mom was full of love and adventure. She was always up for a road trip with Elissa and me. It was obvious that our Siri gps was an actual person. That is why she worried that the voice she heard belonged to someone who never had time off. Naturally, I began changing the voice on my phone so mom didn’t need to be concerned about the lack of days off that Siri got. She also loved where she lived which was also obvious on our road trips. Whether we were driving through downtown San Francisco or out in farm country mom let us know she would not want to live there. San Fransisco had too many people and too much traffic while the farmlands were filled with women who had to work way too hard at life. It got to be so prevalent that Elissa began recording each time mom stated she wouldn’t want to live somewhere. Her young girl travel journal was filled with checkmarks of her Grandma Pat wanting to live right at home not in one of the many places we passed through. 

I miss my mom this week as our Aunt Helen went to be with her heavenly family. It is easy to see her kids knowing that the days forward will be filled with memories of the woman they adore. 

I look forward to my next chapter of life with family and friends and treasure the life lived with those kicking up their heels in heaven with my mom and Ryan. Even that chapter holds promise. Until then our adventures make me smile Mom. 

In Hum, 

Joyful

3-13-26

 

Aunt Helen Dancing and Rejoicing in Heaven with the Love of her Life

 Sweet, sweet Aunt Helen……..went to be with the love of her life yesterday. She was months away from her hundredth birthday but God called her home into His arms. I love the heart of our aunt. Ronnie B and I raised our boys near her in Northern California. Holidays and family dinners were spent on her and Uncle Raymond’s ranch. My favorite was Easter. Aunt Helen would hide the eggs over and over for the kiddos to find. The kids got tired before she did. She and Mary, my mother-in-love, were such close friends. I am convinced they are up there taking shots of tequila and catching up.

The last time we saw Aunt Helen, Elissa got gender reveal cupcakes for Mayve. Myra, Helen and Donna all took a big bite and were excited to see the pink frosting inside. Myra is Helen’s oldest daughter and she went to heaven after a valiant battle with pancreatic cancer shortly after our cupcakes. This picture is so precious. 

Our family will miss Myra and one of our favorite aunties but we know she is dancing with her man in heaven surrounded by loved ones and will be waiting when Jesus calls us home. I hope there is joyful music up there for all the celebration that is surely occurring today.

In Him,

Joyful

3-10-26

A Heart Rock from Elissa’s Dad~Heaven Sent

There is a sweet moment when I find a perfect heart rock. This one was when we were waiting for paperwork for the van Elissa was buying. It was nestled there in front of the dealership. They were more than happy to let me take it and gift it to my grandgirl. I put it in her new car as a ride along from her daddy in heaven. I am so blessed to have Lissa and her kiddos in my life. It is a reminder of my son who left too soon. heaven.  This new van will carry this sweet family through the next phase of their lives. You see, Lissa is starting nursing school in the fall. She travels over twenty miles to school each day after dropping her littles at daycare. What an inspiration she is to resiliency. She has overcome the odds to achieve her dreams. This young mom is rocking life with hard work and exuberancy. She will make the life she wants for herself and her kids through her hard work and dedication to her goals. I am beyond proud of her choices and her smile through all that life throws at her. She is who I want to be when I grow up. 

I love you Elissa. Thank you for including me in your journey. My heart is full when I see who you are and who you are working so hard to become. The laughter you live is a great testimony to who you are on the inside and out. 

In Him,

Joyful

3-6-26

Let it Be and Just Breathe

 This is easier said than done. Mom’s spend their kiddo’s early days caring for them and meeting their every need. Then as they grow it is pretty clear that our job is to lean back and allow them to do more and more for themselves. But how is it possible when we see their choices as not as good as if we continue to decide for them. It is hard to let go of control and trust that even bad choices will lead to learning and growth. 

Their growing independence is challenging us to release the reins a little more with each new stage of their life. Trusting that others can live their own lives regardless of what we think they should choose is us continuously releasing them. 

Our grandchildren are twenty-one years old to twenty-one months old. There are ways we interact differently with each one of them because of their ages and also their personality. Our youngest, Mayve, is going to be two in May. She is the most self reliant little girl. She puts on her own boots, jacket and wants to buckle her own car seat. Her mom is needing to allow her to be independent quicker than she hoped. Her older brother is potty trained and Mayve is extremely interested in going potty on the toilet. Elissa wants to keep her a baby a bit longer.

 It is hard to transition from one phase to the other when we feel like we are not needed as much. But the truth is our kids need us in different ways. My adult children may not need me to wipe their noses (thank God) but they do call and ask Ron and I to babysit. Even though we live in New Mexico and two of our kid’s families live in Washington state, I went up twice to look after kiddos while the parents had a much deserved break. It is a pleasure to fly to and be with my grands. I hope they never stop asking. Oh wait, they are moving more to not needing a sitter all the time. But hopefully, they will pick up the phone and share what is happening in their lives. 

So let’s all enjoy where we are and where we are going. Ronnie B and I turn seventy this year. We are not as old as Susi but we are moving into a new decade of life. Our routines are not as packed full of activities and even include a nap now and then. But it is an exciting time that we are embracing and enjoying. Schedules allow for more time for road trips and breakfast with friends. Now if I can just live what this message says and trust others more. It is something I pray for daily. To give advice when asked not unsolicited. My job is to support and encourage and celebrate the way those I love are living their lives. After all, i am sure my parents scratched their heads at many of the choices I made throughout my life. 

In Him,

Joyful

3-4-26

Passport Office took my Sparkle when They Altered My Image

 This was kind of creepy. It was time to renew my passport and so Ronnie B took the picture of me smiling. Some on Facebook thought the government wouldn’t accept it with the smile. I read the emails again and again and they did indeed accept the photo I submitted. Imagine my shock when my passport arrived a week latter minus my earrings, smile and other small changes. This is disturbing. That they would alter my image rather than declining it and asking me to send an appropriate photo. It doesn’t feel like me on my own passport that I will carry for a decade. I am not against AI but was disturbed that they used it for my identification. 

New technology has never scared me. In fact, I have mostly embraced it to improve life as I know it. Somehow I have to get past the eerie feeling of seeing my altered self, In October, we travel to Egypt and Kenya. Let me focus on the discoveries of this incredible trip rather than the haunting eyes staring back at me on my passport. 

What are your thoughts on AI? Are you curious to see how it will improve your life or cautious of how it will overtake tasks we typically do ourselves? I have mixed feelings but understand that it is now a part of our world. It is better to see how we can use this tool that is now here to stay. But please know that I would have gladly sent another picture through technology to get a passport with a real image of me. There corrections left me with haunting eyes that I am glad I don’t wear in my everyday life. It feels like they took the life and sparkle out of my eyes and my face shifted accordingly. 

In Him,

Joyful

2-24-26

Maddy and Justin and an Old Rotary Phone with My Mom’s Number still on it

 Ronnie B and I had a surprise visit from our Goddaughter yesterday. Maddy and her dad came up and stopped by for a quick connection. What a joy to spend time with these two catching up and remembering when her dad was her age and such a big part of our family. Maddy heard a lot of stories that may or may not have been R rated about the Barber boys and her dad. She handled it well. 

I gave her a couple of heart items to remind her of her Noni’s love for her even when we don’t see one another. She and Justing were interested in my gramma’s rotary wall phone in my dining room. I gave them my mom’s old phone that Maddy had no idea how to use. It was a hoot to see her try to dial a number. Later, Justin posted a picture of her acting like she was chatting away on that outdated device. This picture reminds me of Ann Margaret in Bye, Bye Birdie. I will have to make a date to go down and watch it with her soon. 

It is fun to share what we have with those who we love. Our time, talents, and yes, even a dirty, old phone that isn’t connected bring joy when shared. I feel so honored that Justin and his sister, Jennifer, still call me Mom. Our families spent so much time together while they were young. Now he is this incredible dad who is raising this beautiful young woman. Life keeps rolling along and what a gift that we get to move through it with others. 

Justin will never know how much his love means to me. That he shares Maddy with Ron and me is the best gift. Thanks for the visit and connection my chosen son. It just shows that hearts are connected even when we don’t get to see one another as often as we would like. 

In Him,

Joyful

2-23-26

Take a Breath and get some Rest

Sunday is the day of rest. Even God rested on the seventh day in Genesis. It is necessary for us to refuel, take a pause, and simply be. Ronnie B and I just got home from a ten day trip in our rv. It is comforting to be home and to sleep in our own bed. Yesterday, we unpacked, did laundry, and even had a precious visit from a friend who is family. Then I took the opportunity to catch up with phone calls to people I hadn’t spoken to on our journey. So today may be a pajama day at the Barber’s house. I need to pay a view bills, go through the mail, and do quiet tasks that allow me to rest while being productive.

It may also be a nap day since I have been up since before four am. My home internal clock says get up for Bible study. So off I go to take my first nap of the day at 10am. See you on the other side.

In Him,

Joyful

2-22-26