Yes, We are all Lovely and Should be Proud of Who We are in this Moment!

 We need to be more like two year olds. Mayve is thrilled with her new outfit. She just oozes confidence, joy and a knowing she is lovely. Her favorite is the faux fur vest that she can pet and enjoy. Don’t we need to pose for pictures not hiding behind others because we don’t like our weight but standing tall and proud of who we are in this moment. Wrinkles, gray hair and crepey skin are all evidence that we have lived life and not just endured but flourished. Yes, the pictures of us in our later years are not the same as the one from our high school yearbook. But think about what we have accomplished and weathered along this life path. It is beautiful to be eighteen but also beautiful to be a Noni and great-grandmother who may not be as adorable as a two year old but can have the joy in our eyes that Mayve does. 

Let’s start celebrating life and embracing the image in the mirror. Most importantly get in the pictures. You don’t need to always be behind the camera. Our families love us and want us to show up in their lives but also in the photos that are memories of precious moments. So here is to us as new moms, senior citizens or at every moment of our path. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-25-26

I Want to be IN Cahoots with You so I Don’t Go Insane

 So I guess saying I’m all in has to be clarified. Where the heck am I all in? I think in cahoots seems best since I don’t have to go in alone. After all, I always like to be with someone. It is good i am allowed to take several trip to going insane. That does suggest that I frequently come out of it and that sounds like a good thing, I seem to always return so that may be concerning. What I really like is this play on words. There is a great book about which witch is which. I think it was called The Phantom Tollbooth about the joys of learning and how adults must keep it stimulating. Maybe I should have read it more often since I lived my life in a classroom. 

My greatest joy about being a special ed teacher was I got to do project based learning rather than worksheets. The best year ever was when we did inside out. The idea was to look at many things from the inside out to learn more about them. We took apart balls, tennis, golf, basketball and more to see what was inside and find out why. Then we made stamps with nuts as we learned why some had thicker shells and some crazy wiggles inside. The hint for that is weather. We also took apart electronics to compare and contrast. That got shut down when one of my middle schoolers went to the library to search for how to make a bomb from a microwave. Yes, I had the behavior, autistic and emotional kiddos. The most important inside out was looking at ourselves from the inside and recognizing that we compare our hurts to others outsides that look all perfect and mess free. 

I am so fortunate that I had students and their families for years not semesters. Many are still in my life and for that I am grateful. Although they drove me insane at times I am glad they are not incognito as adults. Sometimes I even get to be in cahoots with my Angelica when we are planning surprises with my Elissa. Now I think I will go in search of my copy of The Phantom Tollbooth and grab a second cup of coffee.

In Him,

Joyful

8-24-26

Keep Our. Hearts Filled with Others until it Overflows

 All those who remain in our hearts even when they are no longer with us is proof that love lives on. Then there are those that we get to continue embracing here and oh what a heart full they provide. It has been so long since some have moved on to await our arrival above yet they continue to fill space in our hearts even in our lives. Yesterday, I saw something completely inappropriate and longed to share it with Ryan. He and I shared an off color humor that I can’t share with just anyone. My son embarrassed me while keeping me in stitches. More times than I can count, I had to cover my smile while trying to maintain a stern, mother appropriate glare. I so wish Ryan and my dad had got the chance to share life here on earth. They would have just got each other. My hope is that they are belly laughing about one another antics in heaven. It will be precious to see the connection they have built when I arrive home one day. 

 The people in our lives that get us and even those who just roll their eyes make life worth living. I love when someone brings out my playfulness and especially when they jump in with both feet. Life is serious. There are difficulties on our journey but it is better to bring joy even in the most painful situations.

 I remember after my dad passed and we were going through photos. We were all tearfully laughing at his antics. Then the phone would ring and we would answer with a cheerful hello. This shocked the person on the other end who expected us to be weeping and sad. We quickly learned to measure our hello so others weren’t thrown off. Then there was the time I found out that even in vitro woutldn’t give Ron and I a baby.  The surgery was done with a tube down my throat. I asked Ron to give me hot tea so I wouldn’t sound sad when we called our parents. Why do we feel the need to hide our emotions? The joy in pain or the pain in a door closing are both better when shared honestly and openly with those who love us. 

Others in our hearts and in our lives is what makes life worth living. This week we will attend a funeral for a son, brother, friend who died way too soon. Even in their grieve there will be laughter. His life will live on in the hearts of many in our little community. Embracing others with love is what healing is all about. Their family will never be quite whole again but they will remember him and move forward knowing he would have loved life if here and he is enjoying the one he is now immersed in with Jesus. I wonder what connections he is making up there with relatives who greeted him and welcomed him into their arms and their hearts. 

Happy in sign language is a gesture that shows a heart overflowing. Happy is when loved ones fill our hearts with love, laughter and memories. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-23-26

My Napoli Grandson, Nabin

Nabin was patiently waiting all summer for Mayve to embrace him. She wouldn’t even give a fist bump. Our two year old is an observer first and can come off as aloof as she navigates her little life. But this picture proves she has perfect timing. This was Nabin’s last day in our home but not the last day in our family. He will forever be a part of the Barber clan. When he wrote in our book that is for overnight visitors to leave a note, he listed Mayve hugging him as one of his most cherished moments of a summer that included more than a few great moments. I love the expressions in this photo. The connection between them is real. His joy at embracing her is written all over his face. 

What an honor it has beeen to have Nabin in our home this summer. This weekend he went to Colorado to meet his precious girlfriend before returning to school in Louisiana. We ate the best curry and fried rice this summer. Nabin is not only has a big heart but he can cook. I just hope I can duplicate some of his dishes. He left me homemade turmeric that far outshines the store bought versions. Having others share our home has been one of the greatest gifts Ronnie B and I have given ourselves. We are gathering family from around the globe through time spent together.

This moment is etched in my mind. This young man will live a life full of connections because of his willingness to embrace others. I am so glad he became a part of our family. He knows he always has a place to stay and a place at our table. Hopefully, with food he prepared to eat. I won’t even try to compete with his dishes. Perhaps next time he will bring his lovely lady who he says is an even better cook than him. Thank you Nabin for a wonderful summer. You were willing to try everything…….except the hot tub! But it has been a pleasure getting to know our Nepali grandson.

In Him,

Joyful

8-17-26

 

Compassion is Key, Faith in Heartcrushing Circumstance

That saying of pull yourself up from your bootstraps and get on with it is advice to tackle life on our own. The better advice may be to pause, pray for wisdom to move in the right response to what life is throwing at us. How many times have I rushed in believing I had the right way to handle a situation only to find out that my haste led me to the wrong actions? The older I get the more often I am aware that even when I know I am right about something, I can be wrong. 

This past weekend a family in our town lost their thirteen year old son to a tragic accident. Oh how I grieve for this family and all involved. Even as our hometown comes together to support this family the rumor mill is also sharing facts about what happened that may or may not be correct. I misremembered a street that I lived on for decades. How could my brain have not known the name of this street? But I knew I knew until someone pointed out that I was mistaken. Others are sure they know the circumstances surrounding this loss and sharing it confidently. First, does it matter? A child died. Second, the truth is not always found in the rumors even if you hear it from a reliable source. After all, I shared a fact about a street name that I lived on and I was wrong. Was I a reliable source? Absolutely not. 

What I know is that a family lost their precious son, brother, friend and are grieving. Our part is to give them the space they need to come together and pray for them. Whatever we can do to support others in a time of need is much more important than knowing the details of what happened and why. This hits close to home for me in a couple ways. When Tanner fell off the eighty foot cliff when he was a fifth grader our same community had many stories of what happened and why. Even though I am his mom and stood at the edge of the cliff while a firefighter brought him up on a backboard, I didn’t know what exactly happened. Even as that twelve year old son of mine is close to turning forty this year, I don’t know all the facts about that day. If I pretend to it is for my peace of mind not because I really understand. Bottom line is I don’t need to know but do need to have all the details. Again when we lost Ryan to suicide there were so many stories about the circumstances. People knew that they knew even as we as Ryan’s family can’t possibly understand all that was in his heart at that moment. Having compassion and loving others in difficult times is what our focus should be. 

Faith is the antidote of fear much more than courage. Someone told me once that they could not survive losing a child. I don’t think anyone has the courage to lose a child but our faith gets us through even the moments that are unbearable. I pray for the families involved in this recent loss. I also pray for those who have a need to know the circumstances rather than just embracing those who are hardly able to breathe from the pain. This is not me lecturing others. My first response was to know all the facts and even to share them. That’s how I know I misremembered a street name. This is me reminding myself that faith and courage are what I need to cling to even when my worst fears are realized. No family should lose a child. That is a fact that I know to be true. Please pray for our town and all who are grieving here. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-12-26

 

Memories are Made at Home or Aboard a Sailboat in Canada

 What a fabulous adventure my Ronnie B is on. I have no regrets not joining this trip with Paul and Cindy. It was the right choice for me to stay home and follow their journey, pictures, and words describing the trip. This photo is impressive of the peaceful voyage they are on. My hope is still to meet them in Victoria and travel the San Juan Islands back to Tacoma. But we will see if they are done and just ready to get back to life on land. Either way I am sure I made the right decision to stay home this time. 

I am currently in Lubbock looking forward to celebrating Kim’s fiftieth birthday and swimming in the hotel pool. Jenn and I came from New Mexico yesterday and will go back home Monday. A three day break from nightly bear activity. It has been a wild summer of bears in Los Alamos. They have been at our house nightly and even got into our mudroom when we carelessly left the door unlatched. Others have had them come in through windows and destroy their kitchens in search of food. We had a late freeze and there is no fruit in LA or White Rock this year. These intruders are just so hungry they are risking all to get a meal. Although I sympathize, I don’t want to share my home with them. 

Ronnie B and I have two more trips planned before the year ends. There is a time for everything. This time I needed/wanted to be home after six weeks in the northwest. But I will be ready to spread my traveling wings come October for Egypt and Kenya. Then we may end up on the Guthrie’s sailboat to the Bahamas for one last journey. The water on that trip will be much more welcoming for me to spend hours swimming. 

What a marvelous life Ron and I are enjoying whether together or miles apart. Life is pretty perfect for these seventy year olds who started out as high school sweethearts many moonrises ago. When I think of life now it is filled with contentment. Is it perfect? Nope. But it is mine and I wouldn’t change a thing. And I can’t wait to hug my Ronnie B whether it is in Canada or back here in New Mexico. I miss him but love the choices we both made this summer. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-8-26

New Beginnings, Connections, and Prayer

Yesterday was a good day. It was an answered prayer day in many ways. Tanner started a fabulous job and Nate got a job offer which will have him starting in a week or two. New beginning for both of these sons of mine. Thanks to all who pray for them and their families. I could tell Tanner was tired but excited at the end of his first day. God is good!

There is a way back from even the darkest moments. Now to continue to pray for my children to be in relationship with one another. God can do all things and even this. The family trips we took when they were young should be a catalyst to conversations. I know it will come until then I will be patient and pray. 

Lots of new beginnings as school starts and families prepare for getting back into routines. Kayla is off to college while her family adjusts to her being a few hours away. Life moves from season to season. I am no longer stepping to the front of a classroom but can spend some time praying for those who are. What a gift my life with students was to me. The beauty is that many of my littles are still in my life as adults, parents, worker bees. Each of us continues to have a role to play even as opportunities shift and change. There wont be lesson plans or behavior goals for me to write but there are other tasks for me to engage in. I hope to stay connected rather than fading into the background. Whether from coffee dates, social media presence, or quietly praying and reminding others I still care. My job is not finished even though I am retired. God gives each of us opportunities in all phases and stages of life. 

Nate and Tanner are beginning new adventures that will plug them into a work family. The right job is not just about a paycheck but who you interact with during your working hours. I pray for these new opportunities and the relationships they will create. Now I need to go sit at the park and let our Cora dog chase birds. Perhaps a new friend will walk by and chat for a bit. Or better yet, I can take her to the dog park and have a meet up with other dog lovers. I hope you have a wonderful day whether you are on a time clock or at coffee with a friend. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-6-26

 

Lovely Days at Home Getting Done What has been on my List for Years

 Oh what a beautiful sunset and now what a glorious morning. Can I share with you my week so far? I have been having a problem adding pictures for a few months. Yes, rather than investigate how to fix the problem I just kept going through useless steps first on this iPad then on iPhone to allow me to post. Well, a couple days ago my phone quit working, So I had no choice to a stop posting pictures or quit blogging. The third choice came to me this morning and I turned to the all knowing YouTube channel to show me what was wrong. When my devices updated it turned on enhanced restrictions. That caused the problem. I was the bigger problem in not figuring it out rather than doing digital cartwheels to do what I wanted on this site. Now I can load a picture on the first step rather than the fortieth. Silly me for not turning to YouTube to figure it out sooner. 

How many of us just deal with the frustrations rather than figuring out the best way to proceed? I know I do this in so many areas of my life. Whether it is YouTube or a trusted friend who knows more than me, I want to get advice to make life simpler from now on. For years Ron has wanted me to figure out how to get new screens for our old prerenovation windows that fit. I have called people and even ordered some that were just not right. Last week, I asked Jon who knows everything about everything and he measured and is going to figure it out. He is more qualified than me period. So I am hopeful that this seemingly impossible task will soon be solved. Then we can open a window without fear of critters flying in. But for now our windows are closed because bigger critters are crawling through our neighborhood’s windows and bears are destroying kitchens to find food. So I will wait patiently for Jon to get the correct screens and hope that next summer open windows will not be dangerous. 

Back to my week while Ronnie B is on his brother and sister-in-laws sailboat traveling around Vancouver Island for a month. I have tackled my upstairs bedroom. Every nook and cranny, drawer and cabinet and taken volumes to thrift stores and dumpsters. Why could anyone possibly need nine bottles of Vicks or enough sweatshirts to wear a different one every day of winter? I got rid of shoes, purses, medications that were dated back to early marriage days. I remind you that we just celebrated our forty-ninth this year. I am embarrassed to say I lost my hearing aids. This morning they are on their charger found in the back of my pj drawer. I could swear I looked there for them multiple times. Maybe the critter that got in my mudroom last night moved them.

It has been a productive week. Now I can die and not have Ron and others realize what a jam it in a spot and forget it person I really am. Angelica knows since she typically is here helping me rid out and organize. But this week I chose to put on my big girl panties or are they old lady panties now and tackle my messes on my own. There are no longer bins under my desk or drawers filled with Bahama money where pens, staples and notepads should be. I feel lighter and less guilty now that things are where they should be and there are reasonable amounts of items for me to live with. 

I hope you are having a fabulous week whether it includes clearing up from bad habits or just sitting on the couch with a good book or good friend relaxing. Next week I plan to begin weaving. Yes Susi, I bought the mini loom as a reward for getting rid of so much that was bogging me down. Until then I will finish up the last loads of laundry and perhaps even make my bed with the sheets that sat in the dryer for days. I am after all still human you know!

In Him,

Joyful

7-31-26

Captain Ron Knows Me and Loves Me Together or Apart

 Oh how I love this man. He has taken me on life’s adventures for over fifty years. I love his enthusiasm for life and is love for adventure. But mostly I love his love for me. Ronnie B is on a six week sailboat trip with his brother and sister-in-law around the Vancouver Island. I was invited of course and prayed about going with them. Even my sweet grandgirl, Makenzie, prayed for my decision. You see, I struggle with saying yes and worry when my heart is telling me no. But we had been on an rv trip for six weeks and only home for one. I simply was torn with going with the love of my life and being at home for awhile. Ron himself came up with the perfect plan. I will join them for the last week or two in Victoria and sail the San Juan Islands. The best of both choices is that I have had time to rest and just be at the home I love connecting with people I love here in our hometown. Then I can sail through waters I love even though they are too chilly to do much swimming. 

My greatest gift is not the opportunities I have had because of marrying this man almost fifty years ago. That he allows me to say yes and to say no when I need to and knows me well enough to make life fit for both of us. I mean who says no to a sailing trip with incredible views? But Ron recognized my need for home time. I love that about him. We both love doing life together but are also okay when we go off on our own. That makes sharing our separate moments even more precious. 

As you can see from the picture of Captain Ron, the weather and waters in Canadian waters are not the warm water I love to swim in when we go to the Bahamas. But I have a plan for that. I ordered a wetsuit and will hope to get in the water not just on the boat when I join the other Barbers in a few weeks. Ron is loving the trip and I am loving hearing his adventures. I am loving my time at home and love sharing all the stories of life here with my Ronnie B. Felix was here for a couple weeks, Nabin from Nepal is living with us for the summer, and the Margarita Trails lunches have been filled with friends and laughter. 

There are times when I doubt my choice to go or to stay. But this has been perfect and I chose well. Susi is here for the weekend which is a bonus! Girl time, me time, Felix time and just sitting on the patio reading a book in a monsoon thunderstorm have all made it clear that I needed this time at home. I feel so fortunate in my life right now. The people that I share life with make my life rich and I am content with this seventy year old version of me. The hustle and bustle of teaching and raising kids has been replaced with quiet days and also adventure filled ones. I could not ask for a better life or a better man to share it with. Thank you Ron for loving me just as I am and allowing me to be me. 

In Him,

Joyful

7-25-26

Am I Your Lighthouse Human? You are Mine!

I want to be a lighthouse human. A light to see that there is hope in any circumstance. To not be the one to minimize the pain or reality of a situation but to wrap my arms around others when the world is crashing.                                                                              I am beyond blessed to have people in my life that are  there for me when I am blinded by tears, grief, or uncertainty. Susi, Jenn, and Pat have walked beside me through the storms and always allowed me the room to grief while being close enough to reassure me that we can make it through even the darkest times. My survival depends on my faith and my family and friends to even be able to take one more step through the losses of life. Even when life doesn’t throw a loss but a worry over the outcome of a frightening situation, my people surround me and give me hope. They don’t pretend that all will turn out as I hope but that whatever lies ahead there won’t be a moment I have to step out alone.                                                        What comfort we can be to one another not when we sugar coat life’s challenges but rather just be present. Present to support, listen, and stay close enough to assure each other that none of us is alone. Life gets hard. Thankfully, there are also so many moments in life that are joy filled or downright silly. Our lighthouse friends are also there for us when we just want to have fun and be a bit ridiculous. The connection comes from walking life out together.

I hope and pray that each of you have those people in your life. There are of course more people in my life that step out with me but these three are my go to ones. Pat reminded me to go pee when my son, Ryan, died. Although she recently joined him in heaven, when I find myself busy and forgetting to stop to go potty, I wish she was here to remind me. Pat’s house was my peaceful place. I could go there and just be which was often what I needed. The coffee was hot and there was always plenty of pie to eat.  Susi has been with me for over fifty years. She has been my person driving through the night with three little boys to get to my dad when he found out he had cancer. Put up with my shenanigans in our college dorm and spent the summer we brought home a twenty-eight week preemie to take turns with two hour feedings. Natalie, our preemie is now a mom herself. Susi is special because she loves all the nooks and crannies of my weird and wonderful personality. To say I am random is the tip of the iceberg. Jenn lives across the street and knows when I need to be included or when I need to be left at home alone. We make snow angels, pass out random stuff to strangers just to brighten their days, and can sit having coffee for hours. We may not solve the world’s problems or even be able to fix what is broken in our kids lives, but we love one another and will jump in the car to make sure Tyler is alive or that Elissa is not overwhelmed. 

Look for lighthouse people. Be a lighthouse person. Let your lighthouses know that life would not be the same without them guiding your steps.

In Him,

Joyful

7-24-26

 

Felix Time is the Best of the Best

This kid……Nate and Natalie gifted us with Feli time. He left with us on Father’s Day in our Goldie rv from Washington and here we are almost a month later in New Mexico. Our time together is coming to an end but oh the laughter and joy we have shared.

This picture sums up our six year old grandson’s personality. He may get frustrated or entitled just like each of us but with a bit of time and reflection he is all good. Here he is in the er where he ached all over and had a high fever. Thirty minutes before this picture our little man was miserable. A bit of Tylenol and multiple tests and he let us know that he was all good. So Felix!

I have learned so much from Felix this past month. 

1. Each of us works better when we get enough sleep.                                                                                   2. Boundaries keep us in a good mood better than getting what we want when we want it. Tantrums come when others  bow to our desires rather than when  rules are kept clear.                                                                  3, Trying new things can be hard but with the right reward we can find that new things can be fabulous rather than frightening.                                                                                                                                     4. Learning is exciting and sharing what we are learning is even better. Khan Academy shows me how brilliant little man is and while he reads I learn. He prefers nonfiction so I now know more about alligators and crocodiles, planets, and so much more.                                                                                                    5. When we are secure in our relationships with others, it is not worrisome to be away from them. It may hurt Felix’ parents that he isn’t homesick but the truth is it shows that he is confident in their love. His place with Ronnie B and I is comfortable. That is a tribute to how loved he feels. 

6. Don’t lead with what your goal is. There will be negotiation so inflate and then there is room for negotiation.

7. Laughter is infectious. 

8. Having the confidence to approach others whether at a park or in a grocery store gives us connections to others and makes life more

 

Lastly, it is the best way of life when everything is viewed as over the top wonderful. There have been two people in my life that truly believed that every meal is the most delicious, every gift is the best, and every person is their favorite. Grandma Co Humpton not only said this but felt it with every fiber of her heart. Felix is this way as well. He truly embraces and loves life. There is nothing fake about his joy as he walks through his days. Felix just finds joy in the moment and all it comes with. Well, maybe not taking medicine or getting his toenails cut. 

People like Felix and Co lift others up and remind us to look for the positive. I hope to turn up my enthusiasm for life in my days ahead. After all, our attitude does matter is true. 

 After receiving what I have prayed for I ask for the discipline to maintain it and the wisdom to make it grow. This time with our grandson has been such a gift that we treasure more than his parents could know. Now that we have enjoyed all the adventures and moments it is time to be more intentional with all our grandkids to FaceTime, call and stay connected. Personally, this Noni needs to get a strategy to connect regularly. Who knows, perhaps we will get to build our relationship with others not with a glorious month together but conversations. Sharing life is the answered prayer and we intend to be more intentional about nurturing this gift. 

full.

In Him,

Joyful

7-14-

Hear, Receive, Respond, and Wait the Best Prayer Connections

 

I listened to a Bible teaching this morning on prayer. Megan Fate Marshman had a good prospective that I had not considered. There are four things that happen with our prayers…….God listens, God receives, God responds, and God waits. The first and last can be difficult for us. While God listens and holds onto our prayers, we also listen for Him and need to spend time not only asking but silently being in His presence. As He receives our heart response He allows us time to be still and rest in His comforting presence. Then when we are patient and near to Him the answers will come. Whether they are the ones we wish to receive depends largely on if our requests align with God’s will. The last is the wait. Sometimes prayers are answered immediately but at other times the wait can be years. What we need to know is to have faith that God hears us and wants what is best for us. He uses even the difficult moments to stretch our faith and help us connect with others. There is power in praying alone and with others. 

When Ron and I went through struggles in our marriage, a counselor suggested we separate. We lived in separate homes for years. My prayer and the one I asked others to pray over us was simple. Three words that healed our relationship. Under one roof. Those were hard years. A lot of tears, stress, and being harsh with one another. But the truth is that I cherish that time. It showed us that we belong together. We got back under one roof and a big part of that was beginning a routine of praying together. We would join hands, eyes open and bring the hard conversations to one another with Jesus in the center. It gave us both a safe space to share our hearts that were vulnerable and broken through years of unkindness. I love our life now and wouldn’t change the struggles we went through to get here. 

Prayers are powerful not only in changing our circumstances but mostly in connecting us with the one who is always present in our life. Felix, my six year old grandson, asked me what hell would be like and why we don’t want to go there. My answer is my truth. It is not about fire and brimstone or bashing of teeth. I believe the worst hell is that we are separated from God. His presence and those He places in my life are everything to me. Without Him it is hell. Building the relationship with Him day by day makes it clear just what His presence means in my life. When I don’t make time my life has a bigm gaping hole. 

Let’s all pray for one another not just say we will but share the words with one another right then and  there. God is listening, receiving, responding and waits on us as we wait on Him.

In Him,

Joyful

7-3-26

Caffeine Jitters or Naptime?

 What the heck? How did I not see that and why don’t I even understand what happened? Oh wait! I am just not even making any sense to myself. Do you ever just confuse yourself and not even know what it is about? That is the kind of day I am having. Nothing is wrong. Everything is going just fine. In fact, I am spending time with my grandgirl and I am really enjoying this relaxing day. But there is something unsettled about the day as well. I can’t put my finger on it. A couple days ago, Brittney said she felt anxious and she had to keep reminding herself that she drank full caffeine coffee instead of her usual half caff. The jitters she felt were from the caffeine not anything she was worrying about. But the day got busy and she kept wondering what was causing her to be unsettled. Then she would remember the three cups of coffee without food that affected her whole day not just her morning. This would cause her to take a breath and remember that there was nothing that she was worried about. Well, that is how my day is going. But I always drink my fully loaded caffeine without food so that is not it. 

I am feeling like the other shoe is going to drop. But I haven’t even had one foot hit the floor so this makes no sense. Okay, when I get this way there is a perfectly effective solution. Pray. Step away and spend a little time with Jesus. That will calm me and let me move into a space of enjoying my day rather than wringing my hands over an unknown fear.

 Are there things currently that have me praying for solution? Absolutely. But I have been doing a pretty good job turning my hands up and giving them to God. In fact, my Bible study this morning was about laying down what I am not meant to carry. The line that sticks with me is that just because I am capable doesn’t mean I am called. Like when I try to micromanage other people’s lives rather than trusting them to figure it out. My job is not to play Miss Fixit but to pray that they will work through whatever situation is concerning. So here I sit with this unusual blog that may or may not make any sense. But in writing this, I am already feeling better. Reminding myself that I am not called to carry burdens but to lay them down at Jesus feet has helped immensely. 

I may just end with my prayer that always comforts me because it has all that I need. 

Lord above, comfort me. Give me courage. Help me see. Guide my actions. Guide my words. Let me know my prayers are heard. Amen

Perhaps it is time to take a nap and wake up refreshed with a better sense of well being. Sweet dreams to each of you. Hope you are having a stress free day. If not, treat yourself to a prayer and a nap. 

In Him,

Joyful

6-1-26

Moving on up in a Variety of Ways

 Moving on up………tis the season. Graduations, retirements, new jobs, summer trips are moving us from one bowl to another. Hopefully, bigger is better. My third grandgirl is graduating high school and her families home life will never be quite what it is right now. I remember thinking that turning forty would surely be my favorite since all my four kids were still home. Here I sit at seventy in my son’s house helping with the bustle of turning the page on high school for now his second daughter. My hope is that this bigger fishbowl and new adventure is not only filled with more water but color, light, new relationships and joy. Whether someone is graduating from kindergarten or retiring from a loved lifelong career, there are mixed emotions of anticipation and the grief of moving away from relationships that have meant so much. Life is full of hellos and goodbyes, new beginnings and last moments. Treasuring all with photographs and memories that may fade but will always be a part of the fiber of who we are is key. Even when the path gets rocky there are lessons to be learned and even an occasional smile at the oh shits of life. All the tears of the final moments are accompanied with shared smiles over what came before. 

Kayla is moving off to college a few hours from home. Felix is going to first grade to learn even more about reading, writing and ‘rithmetic, Lissa completed phlebotomy and will start nursing school in the fall. Our grands are moving forward in wonderful ways to embrace the world. As I write this blog, Millie, my four year old grandgirl is reading over my shoulder and tells me she wants to ride her bike, do crafts, and learn to swim this summer., go camping,, and spend time with her Noni. I may have prompted her on that last one. 

Life is good but it can also be challenging. Thankfully, we have others in our lives to move along the path with us. Even when we are states apart there is always busy chats and phone calls to share what the heck is going on. I am so glad that Papa and I can travel in our little rv. It is best when we visit families of our kids with our own beds just outside on the street. Papa’s code for he is going to take a much needed nap is that he is going to feed Cora her dog food. I believe they are on to us old folks and our need for a bit of quiet and rest. See even we are in a different season of life. Enjoying family but also time to recover and kick our feet up. 

My hope is that you have a sincere filled with others. People you love and want to spend time with. Summertime is just what we need to throw on our flip flops and crank up the barbecue for a bit of charred food and friendly conversations. 

In Him,

Joyful

5-31-26

Let’s welcome June and the warmer weather with a look to the future and all that it holds. 

Nabin is from Nepal and Quickly Becoming a Part of Our Family

 Nabin came from Nepal via Louisiana to stay with us this summer as a lab intern. We are thrilled to have him here. He got here only a week ago and already he is part of the family. Sharing lives, cultures and amazing foods is so rewarding. I already met his parents in Nepal via FaceTime and they invited Ronnie B and I to visit. In only one week, he has made us egg curry, egg fried rice and yesterday my favorite chicken curry. Yum! Nabin has tried green chili scalloped potatoes, bacon, quesadillas, and Greek sheet pan chicken and veggies. 

Nabin has witnessed the bear with us and all our deer friends. He has been busy visiting museums, hiking and even went to the first summer concert at the pond. Our great-grands are getting used to him and are not as shy around him. I am getting used to all the help he gives me. It is hard when I am used to doing things for myself to let him assist. 

Having international students share our home is so rewarding. We learn so much from them and they quickly become part of the family. Ron and I stay in touch with them long after the sheets are washed and the bed remade for the next traveler. We are leaving our home in good hands as we hop in our rv to go to the northwest for family festivities. In July, we will be back to learn and teach more about each other with Nabin. He and all who have lived with us are true gifts to Ron and I. Here is to more delicious meals shared this summer with our new friend/ grandson from Nepal.

In Him,

Joyful

5-24-26

Time for Forgiveness and to Get the Back Story before Judging Other’s Words

 

I admit I have never seen The Sound of Music. Why? Because when I was supposed to go with my family as a child, I was being punished and my mom didn’t allow me to go. So I had to stay home and lay in my bottom bunk while they went. I knew that my mom was disappointed in me for my actions. It was probably when I was little.  But I still feel at seventy that I am not deserving of watching this famous film. 

Last night, a lifelong friend who knows this history told me at our brewery when the movie came up in conversation emphatically that I need to watch it. Her exact words were and I quote….Your mom is dead you can watch The Sound of Music. Needless to say, the other people at the table were shocked. That is because Julie and I knew my story but they did not. Out of context that sounds not only bizarre but messed up. 

So I trust my friend that it is time to sit my butt down and not only watch The Sound of Music but enjoy it quilt free. Not only because my mom would approve but because I need to accept her forgiveness and stop punishing myself for something I did when I was a kid. But because I need to forgive myself for my bad choice back then. I shouldn’t have done it but it is over and time to let it go. Thank you Julie for remembering my heartache and for knowing me so well. We didn’t fully explain to the others but enough for they got it and the conversation moved on. 

 The lessons are clear. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and don’t always judge what you hear. You should clarify if something seems off. Isn’t life easier when we are slow to be offended and when we are capable of forgiveness, not just for others but especially for ourselves?  How can we love others as ourselves if we are holding onto grudges over our past? Let it go……..that is Julie’s best advice. She also is aware that I chose not to go to a musical of The Sound of Music with my kids and grandkids in the next couple of weeks and why I am not attending. You see Julie is my friend but also her daughter and my son married and are raising our four grandkiddos. We are both traveling to Washington to attend our shared granddaughter’s high school graduation. Embracing forgiveness for myself would have allowed me to fully participate in all the festivities. Hmmmmm Julie is a wise woman, friend, mother, and grandma. Who knew? Maybe I should have listened years ago.

In Him,

Joyful

5-23-26

Bear Adventures with Cora and Nabin……..Learning to Utilize Chatgpt

 There be bears in our neighborhood! Tis the season for our dumpster diving friends to come out and feast on the trash that is at our curbs. Ronnie B and I have rarely seen these trashcan flipping creatures in the thirty-six years we have lived here. But this week we have seen four and this guy right here allowed us to follow him and his shenanigans for several blocks. The pictures we captured in the videos we took were not very clear when I zoomed in. So I followed my brilliant brother-in-laws lead and uploaded the photos to chatgpt for better focus. Not only did it focus our furry friend but turned his head toward me. Interesting! Right after he realized this was a bear proof can he jumped the fence and tore the top right off. 

This guy was way smart. Our recycle cans are blue and along his route through many houses he not once tried a blue can but went right for the green, food rich cans. Now he needs to learn which ones are bear proof and which ones are easy open.

The coolest part of our bear adventure was watching him or her climb fences with ease. Also, our student from Nepal got to be in the truck taking videos with us. Cora was well behaved and obeyed Ron’s command to stay so we could have the windows down and not worry that she would jump out. 

Yesterday, Caleb insisted on going bear hunting in my convertible. We didn’t see any bears but saw three deer that he wanted to get out and pet. He loved watching our bear footage over and over again and was excited when I drove past the fence he watched the bear tear up. I am considering stopping by that house and sharing the video with them so they will know who caused the damage. I would want someone to share with me. 

I am not sure if we just have coincidentally happened upon bears this year or that they are more active this summer. But I am putting a call into our county for bear proof trash cans. It seems like the right thing to do. Then they can just come into our yard for choke cherries and apples. Probably healthier for them anyway than our leftover pizza and I asked Nabin what his mother in Nepal said about the bears, he assured me poptarts. 

 When that he did not show her them so she wouldn’t be afraid for him. I love that he protects his mama and her mama’s heart. That is sweet. He is a generous, helpful person and I am so excited to learn from him this summer. I love that Ron and I get to share our home with international students from all over the world. Each of them becomes family that we stay in touch with after their stay is over. How blessed we are! Bears, students, deer and other roaming creatures will make for a thrilling summer in Los Alamos. 

In Him, 

Joyful

5-22-26

Today is a Gift, Enjoy Your Present

Are we there yet? How much farther to go? Are we there yet, that’s what I want to know? Most of us sang this little song on car trips when we got a bit restless. Waiting can be difficult and the excitement of anticipation can wane. But there is a fabulous book The Precious Present by Spencer Johnson that explains that the present itself is the present and there are gifts in the waiting. Whether it is anticipating something life impacting like the birth of a child or a result from a doctor, or a little thing like the last day of school or a Friday for the weekend, we all find ourselves expecting and hoping. 

We give kids five more minutes when an activity is coming to an end and a transition looms. They need that time to adjust to what is next. As adults, we have a broader picture of what is coming with our calendars on the wall, on our phones and even on Alexa. But still we get anxious anticipating what is coming and how it will turn out. Then it is go time and we can take a breath and enjoy or deal with what is. Later, we will reflect on how things turned out. Did we fill our minds with fear unnecessarily or was the result as bad as we worried about? Was the celebration as joyful as we hoped or did it have a few hiccups that will be remembered fondly in the future. Sometimes the almost there is a time to remember past moments that we lived through even when they didn’t turn out like we thought they would. 

I read The Precious Present when Ronnie B and I had just had to give our first son Logan back to his biological mother after loving him as our own for two months. This young mother changed her mind about the adoption. We quickly called our attorney and began pursuing other adoptions. A mom reached out to us from back east and chose us to raise her child. After months of communicating, she changed her mind. Ron even flew back and met her. Then we got word about our son Cameron. We were a bit gun-shy but moved forward. The waiting was hard since his birth was six months after losing Logan. To begin with I just wanted to wait. I wanted to focus on when he would be in my arms and let the summer slip by uneventful. Then I read the book that said that now is a gift and should be enjoyed while anticipating what is next. So I got off the couch and engaged in life. Ron and I had a summer filled with camping, short trips to visit family, and cookouts with friends. September came and we did indeed wrap our son in our arms. All things work out as they were meant to be. Logan is an adult, Cameron is in his forties with four kids of his own, and we pray the other little one grew into a happy, healthy adult. 

The forming of our family through adoption caused a lot of waiting since all our selfless birth moms were pregnant when we met them. We waited for the births, the adoptions to be finalized and spent the rest of our lives connected to the families that adoption tied us to. These families our a part of our family now and they are a big part of our story. 

Even the little events in life have a waiting period. Heck, each of us spends time in waiting rooms of all sorts that are there for the purpose of waiting to be next. This weekend Ron and I take off on a month long road trip to see family celebrate graduations, weddings, and spend time together along the way. I don’t want to get caught up in the calendar and miss the days leading up to each magical event. We have a grandgirl graduating from high school and a grandson graduating from kindergarten and a nephew celebrating his wedding. These will be such fun but so will the hot springs and conversations as we camp our way to the northwest and then meander our way back to Arizona. I look forward to all the events but also know that the time Ron and I spend together is just as precious. We are both turning seventy this year and celebrate our forty-ninth anniversary on June 4th. The life we have shared has not been without heartache but that has been overshadowed by the joy we share being together on this journey. 

Even as I pack and prepare for the trip I am enjoying the wait. We welcomed a student from Nepal to stay with us this summer. As I have done my Bible study and am blogging, he brought his phone over and introduced me to his parents a world away. Then he prepared egg fried rice for lunch. The house smells delicious and I am grateful he is here to feed the cat and water my plants. The trip will be fun but so are the days until then introducing him to neighbors and friends. 

Enjoy right here and know that you are almost there which will be what it will be. Thankfully, we have others and our faith to get through the ups and downs of life.  

Wonderful Moments are Happening

 How glorious to wake up with anticipation of a new day. I have been on a journey of believing the best and just this attitude is creating a peaceful, expectant attitude. Nothing has really changed recently so I am not quite sure what is making me feel so expectant of positives in my life. But it is here and I am wallowing in this hopefulness. The one change I can point to is that my prayers have been more believing in situations that have been prayed for decades without movement. One is for my grown children to choose to be in a relationship with one another. Will this ever be the case? I am not sure but I do know that I have accepted whatever God chooses to do in this circumstance. There are other things in life that remain unresolved but I have somehow finally set them down and found a peace with how things are rather than wringing my hands with how I would prefer them to be. Something wonderful has happened. I am no longer feeling the need to fix everything or have my way in other’s lives. Isn’t that a part of the AA saying………change the things I can and accept the things I cannot change.  Peace comes when we let go and let others choose their own paths. Perhaps this peace I have found is that at seventy I have laid down my micromanaging wand and learned to stay in my own lane more. I am convinced that my children and grandchildren are thrilled with me trusting them with their own choices. Do I still pray for them and support them where I can? Absolutely! But Natalie for one has been trying to get me to stop advising her when she doesn’t ask for decades. Maybe this thick skull is finally getting the memo. 

Today, I expect wonderful things to happen. I look forward to packing out for a trip to the northwest in a couple weeks. Elissa is graduating tomorrow from NNMC with a phlebotomy certificate and starts nursing school in the fall. Clara is coming to spend tonight to ride with us in the morning. Our summer intern arrives today from Nepal. Ronnie B has been getting projects around the house completed with Jon’s help. Then I am also spending time on me. My sister always took the time to do her fingernails and put on lotions and potions whereas my mom and I were never really interested in all the girlie things. Lately, I have stepped up my pampering of me. With the help of Zepbound my weight that has always been a burden is not an issue anymore. Food noise is quieted and I am at the weight that I listed on my driver’s license for the first time in decades. I actually feel pretty. That is something I haven’t really felt in my whole life. Funny that this comes at seventy with all my wrinkles and bright white hair but here it is. Heck, I even wore a dress to Elissa’s graduation party. 

Life is good. Life has moments of fear, doubt, frustration but really isn’t that just a part of life for everyone. There are things I hope to do better. There are habits I want to discard. But in the end, I believe this feeling of euphoria is because I have found a way to have grace for me. Rather than dwelling on all the should have, could have, why didn’t I parts of my life, I am choosing to celebrate where I am right in this moment of time. Ronnie B and I are in good health and looking forward to our rv trip. There are hot springs to visit and lakes to swim in along the way to family. Our grandgirl, Kayla, is graduating from high school and on to Western Washington University. So glad we get to be a part of her celebration. What a joy to put most pity parties behind me and enjoy life as it is. God knows I am living a life I don’t deserve but embrace. Family, friendships and faith are such a big part of my joy. For each of you, I am grateful.

In Him,

Joyful

5-15-26

Mayve is Two, Woohoo!

Our great-grandgirl is two. Sweet Mayve is our granddaughter, Elissa’s youngest. This little one is so independent and sober. She can surely get silly but most of the time is quite serious. I adore how her brother cares for her when he isn’t knocking her down or stealing a toy. He has a tender heart for his sister and she always wants to know where her Bubby is. Kids do so well when they are gifted with a sibling. 

Elissa made MayMay’s birthday such a great Mother’s Day celebration. The zoo with other moms and then a party at a trampoline/arcade/pizza place. It was good to see her interacting with other littles. 

 In this second picture, she was observing what was going on around her as she often does. It reminds me of her Uncle Tanner. He would stay back and watch before jumping into the activity. I love how littles remind us of our own children when they were small. 

I am so fortunate to get to have Mayve, Caleb, and Elissa in our small town so I can be present in their lives. Today we get the opportunity to go to a graduation celebration for Lis. She is rocking it as a mother, student, and especially granddaughter. We are here to support each other and enjoy the moments life slows down enough for us to just be together. She has applied to nursing school and should start in the fall. Please pray with me that everything falls in place for this sweet family. 

In Him,

Joyful

5-13-26

Happy birthday Mayve……Noni adores you and yes, I will get your beefy legs.