Ronnie B and Me Roadtrip at Seventy-Family, Felix, and RV Fun

 

Home again, home again after a five week journey in our casita on wheels. What a fun-filled trip Ronnie B and I had celebrating accomplishments of our grandkids, graduations, birthdays and just being present in life with our kids and grands. Here we are back home once again so many memories made along the journey. I failed to blog on this trip but that was because my mornings were filled with conversations, cartoons and just catching up. There is a routine when I am at home that lends itself to blogging. I get up early and do a Bible study with my coffee and then share my heart, my faith, and my life on this page. So here I sit back in my spot on my mom’s couch which she gifted me when she journeyed to heaven. My coffee is hot after a third zap in the microwave and I want to share one thing that has blessed Ron and I. 

 Natalie and Nate entrusted us with Felix for a few weeks. He left his home and jumped in the rv for an adventure with Noni and Papa. This is our second trip with him and he is pure joy and wonder. Always up for what comes next. He is convinced that he picked out all our camp spots and confidently said he found the perfect one each time. The last one had a pair of stray, black kittens that we watched bounce around and fed. Felix reminds me that we are to take life as it comes and be glad in it. He had a broad idea of how long we were traveling and the states we would pass through getting from Washington state to New Mexico. But mostly he put his faith in us believing that we had great plans for him and he would simply go along for the ride. 

Isn’t that how we are supposed to have faith? Believing that even in the worst moments God is with us and will never leave us to deal on our own. There were a few rough patches on our trip. Felix hates blood and gets in a panic not when there is blood but even at the prospect that there could be blood. But knowing we were there with him helped immensely. I feel honored that what usually takes Mama’s kisses and warm hugs could be calmed with Noni and Papa. 

 Felix has not asked to go home but enjoys sharing FaceTime calls with his parents and Auggie multiple times a day. I am sure Felix being gone has been hard on his almost three year old brother. But Auggie is getting all his parents attention and having adventures of his own with them. It will be lonely when Felix returns to Washington but this time with him has been one of the greatest gifts we could receive.Ron and I learned about Pokémon and so much more that Felix could teach us. We were blown away at how well he reads for a kindergarten graduate. It was apparent that we could not be sneaky and spell things because this kid is sharp. His reward when we arrived in Los Alamos was a binder specially made for Pokémon cards along with a pack that he spent time organizing. He assured us that he didn’t need our help and quite frankly didn’t need our input to get it filled. After all, he knows more about these cards than we do and we would only mess it up. Such a joy this kiddo that I get to have as a grandson. 

Thank you Nate and Natalie for allowing us the pleasure of spending time with your family and then trusting us to take Felix, your little man, on this trip with us. I hope there will be many more in our future. After all, Papa and I have the sign on the back of our Chinook……..Adventure before Dementia. And so far at seventy, we are still able to drive and take these fabulous roadtrips. Heck, we have even got enough energy to hang out with all the families and friends. Last night, our granddaughter, Elissa, came over with her two and almost four year old and Felix played in the back yard for hours. I will say that Papa and I slept soundly in our own bed with Felix on a Noni made bed on the floor right beside us. It is good to go but it is also so good to be home. 

In Him,

Joyful

7-2-26

Simplify Your Prayers and Just have a Conversation

And it doesn’t have to be a long conversation but just a sweet connection. My teens and I each came up with a three word prayer for one another. Speaking to Jesus on behalf of others is a good way to begin. After all, the commandments love God, love others is our life’s purpose. If you are not a prayer warrior as some call those who pray continually, don’t be intimidated. Prayer has no formula and nobody is better at praying than anyone else. Prayer is a moment that I can spend time with Jesus to seek help, give thanks, or just rest in our relationship. 

Ronnie B told me that Jesus was a simple man. He is also a simple savior. His expectations are not complex. Believe in Him and be saved. Spend time with Him and learn the direction He has for you. I am a firm believer in spending time in the Bible but also listening to women’s Bible podcast and YouTube videos. Lisa Harper’s Back Porch Theology is incredible. TBN has Better Together that brings five women of faith together to discuss His direction for life and the struggles that He has seen them through. I never end a video by Chrystal Evans Hurst without having a bit more clarity to steps forward. 

Whatever way you connect with Jesus is time well spent in building your life and relationship with Him. Whether you are on your knees, hands up in a group or sitting under a cozy blanket with your cup of piping hot coffee, He is present. His desire is for us to know Him and share Him with others. Sharing His love for me is my desire because I don’t want anyone I love or anyone who crosses my path to walk through life without the relationship I have with Jesus. Of course, He puts others in my life to be there for me, to support and defend me, and to spend time growing together. But time spent in prayer is my life blood. I could not imagine living a day without a quiet conversation with Jesus. It would be like spending the day without oxygen. His breath in my lungs and His love in my life sustain me. 

Keep it simple. Don’t overthink prayer. Just listen and share your moment. It is even a good thing if your mind wanders. That errand thought may be just what you need to speak to Jesus about. Yes, He even cares about our schedule, chores, worries, and distractions. My three word prayer was under one roof. Ronnie B and I were separated for years and the girls prayed these three simple words for us. We have now been back under one roof and better together than we ever were apart. The healing of our relationship didn’t just happen. It took building relationship and trust through time spent together. Spend time with those in your life that need healing. Shine a light on and lean in to relationships that need tending. Likewise, embrace the sweet words you can share in prayer. Praying together was one big change in our relationship as Ron and I put Jesus in the middle of difficult conversations. 

Here is a simple prayer I call Lissa’s prayer that I learned before she lost her Daddy and ultimately stood up and prayed at his memorial when she was only four years old. 

Lord above comfort me. Give me courage. Help me see. Guide my actions. Guide my words. Let me know my prayers are heard. Amen.

Comfort, courage direction and trust in His hearing me. Jesus was a simple man. Don’t over complicate spending time with Him.

In Him,

Joyful

1-9-26

 

Connecting in the Skies Some Fifteen Years Later

 These smiles, this friendship is simply warm and beautiful. Marlie and Sarah have been besties since middle school. Their love for one another has been strong enough to weather a move away and life leading them in opposite directions. I adore these women who I was honored to have in Young Life while they were tweens and just discovering each other. 

Yesterday, Natalie told me that Sarah met Natalie’s father-in-law while they are both flight attendants for Alaska Airlines. When they became facebook friends, Sarah asked him how he knew me since we were mutual friends. What a small world we live in. What an honor that this lovely lady still allows me in her world through facebook. Connections matter whether they are decades ago, ongoing, or through social media.

 I get a smile on my face when I recall how these girls allowed me to be a part of their getting ready for prom at Sarah’s mom’s house. The love they showed Ron and I when we lost Ryan mattered more than they could imagine. It makes me happy that Matt and Sarah’s worlds collided in the skies. It just shows how encouraging others makes a difference even years into the future. 

Thank you my girls for remembering with me the times we shared when you were younger but just as beautiful as you are in this moment. 

In Him,

Joyful

11-6-25

Let Our Adventures Continue in Golden Nookie

 The Beach Runner, formerly known as the Prairie Princess is sold. We spent the past eight years having adventures in this nineteen foot rv. It was our home when we were remodeling our house and took family to Pismo Beach when we had our fortieth anniversary. There were nine seatbelts that took adults as well as car seats together. Once it slept seven of us. My Mom and Hector both traveled and camped with us and now they share memories in heaven. It was hard to drive away and leave it with Fernando. The gift is that he is our mechanic and has kept her running these past years. He is thrilled to start his family adventures in her. So it is bittersweet to say good-bye to our perfect little home on wheels. 

Ronnie B and I will move forward in our updated casita on wheels. The Golden Nookie is a 2000 Chinook that is way more modern and stylish that the Beach Runner. It gets better mileage and is perfect for the next adventures that we will embark on. It still can seat nine of us and that makes us happy. The kids now ride with us but rarely need a place to lay their heads. Last Christmas, we took Cam’s family of six with us to look at Christmas tree lights and it was cozy and perfect. 

So off we go from one adventure to another on a slightly newer set of wheels. Our hope is to keep traveling and adding miles and memories as long as our now older selves can rack up miles. So far we are still in the adventure before dementia phase of our late sixties. Let’s hope It will be a decade or more before we need to turn over the keys to Goldie to a new owner. For now she is ours and we are wheels up in a couple weeks for Jessica’s wedding in Vegas and then on to Tacoma to spend a month with kids,

grandkids and Ron’s brother’s family. See you on the road!

Now to order an Adventure before Dementia sign for our spare tire.

In Him,

Joyful

11-3-25

A Promise, a Goal and Trust on my Blank Page for 2023

 

A blank page………. What comes to mind when I say a blank page? A fresh start, something to be filled, a possibility are all thoughts that come to mind. There are times that I have dreaded the blank page as I worried about what I was supposed to fill it with or how I could even begin. Other times I have been excited for the freshness of a beginning rather than continuing with the clutter of a page already filled. 

When I was teaching, which I loved, I called the rough draft a sloppy copy and the finished product the neat sheet. It is supposed to be a mess of ideas that fill up that sloppy copy. I would even go so far as to take the chaos of words and cut them into strips or bits and organize them to bring like thoughts together. To begin anything has to start with pouring everything in my brain onto that blank page and then weeding out what doesn’t fit and organizing what does. 

Sheila Walsh said that this New Year rather than filling her page with plans and goals, she signed her name to a blank page. This was her way of saying to God that His plans for her year were what she would look to and where she would go. I like that idea of leaving room to be pliable in God’s hands but my fear is that I would not listen to His gentle nudging me in the steps I need to take. It feels like a choice to do nothing rather than something. Then I began to think back on the times where I did feel Him pressing in my back to take a step. It was so clear and persistent. Even when I took awhile to say yes because of stubbornly believing it was not His direction I was hearing. 

A few examples of this is wash their feet……when I had a group of teens in my home. This led to me drawing closer to each of them as I discovered feet covered in self inflicted cuts on the bottom of one girl’s feet. Others stepped forward and shared their own scars so she was included not ashamed. My yes to washing the feet of mostly unchurched girls who I thought wouldn’t understand was the beginning of this blog. We teamed up to pick up a pen or a keyboard and write when one of them was craving the blade. 

Another yes to a blank page was when I moved the boulder out of my path to writing and sharing my journey in book form on Amazon. What I saw as a boulder that sat me down rather than kicking it out of my way turned out to be more of a pebble in my path. That no it won’t work mentality kept me from finishing what God started for almost a year. Obedience is difficult when I am not confident in my direction or abilities. Doing the unknown of putting this book together was unfamiliar territory and I didn’t feel worthy of taking the next steps. 

At times like this new year, it is frightening to give a blank page promise to listen to and follow through on God’s plans for my days, weeks and months. It would be easier to make my own goals and then I am only breaking my promise to me when or if I fail. But my life’s goal is simple yet complex…..to know Him and to make Him known. The more time I spend in relationship with Him the clearer I will hear exactly how to fill my blank page and hopefully the quicker I will be with my yes. What I need to be intentional about is to pour onto my sloppy copy so I will end this year and the next with a neat sheet that builds my relationship with Him and helps others to see just how precious that relationship is to me. Then giving them the key to know Him simply by accepting that Jesus will guide them through the storms, the sunshine, and even the losses of life. 

In Him,

Joyful

1-4-23

Just Call Me Noni~I Will be Right There

 Ministry is an overflow of your relationship with Jesus. Priscilla Shirer

 

This is a season for me to continue to be a spiritual momma to young people. The truth is my role is becoming more of a spiritual Noni than a momma at this age. What I know is that I need to walk my faith and be present in the lives of others. I don't need to preach to them but just be present. Living my life immersed in God's word and trusting His presence in my life. 

I don't have to have fancy get togethers or plan elaborate meals. There was a season where I had Saturday morning breakfasts with teens and what powerful relationships were found around a pile of pancakes. As I have aged the breakfasts faded as those connections thrived. My teens turned into young women and mommas themselves. Life got too busy to meet up once a week. Saturdays became filled with them running between soccer games and ballet. Birthday parties and occasional one on one get togethers always included me. For former students they were finally able to call me Noni rather than hanging on to calling me Mrs. Barber.  Those Saturday morning breakfasts from a decade ago have grown my heart and my family as I get to love on them and their kiddos. What an awesome reward. 

Being a spiritual Noni to young families is such a gift. I receive so much more than I invest. The beautiful part is God places others in my life and grows new relationships along the way. Our hearts are incredibly flexible and can grow to include others without taking away from the relationships we already cherish. My hope is to always prioritize these chosen families. In a couple weeks, Ron and I will travel to Salt Lake City to be a part of a wedding with our sweet Nicole and Chris. Angelica is having a baby the end of June. What an honor that she wants me in the room when her son is born.  Leona has a precious place in my heart. She is responsible for getting my heart published and I can't imagine not being able to share life with her and her sweet family even if it is from afar. Libby is a personal banker and advices me and allows me to be there when she needs a helping hand due to injuries and heartbreak from a horrific accident that took her fiances life and left her broken. What can I say about Jess? She told Allen when my girls were ever present in our home when Ryan died that she was my favorite. He told her that I said they were all my favorites. That is so true. It is possible to have many favorites since they all mean different things to us. Absolutely Jess is my favorite. Her energy, enthusiasm for life and deep love bring joy to this Noni's heart. My Heather and her family have moved to Kentucky but will always be just a phone call away and in my heart and prayers. We have walked through so much life together since she first read my blogs and stepped into my heart. There are so many others that I could fill volumes not blogs with how they have impacted my life. 

Sister/friends my own age are so valuable to my life and I am grateful for each one. Being a spiritual Noni to younger women is something I will never retire from. The joy they bring to me is a part of my faith ministry and certainly a reward God gifts all of us. We are meant to walk hand in hand through life and loving and being loved is key. It doesn't take much to include others in our lives. It could be as simple as reaching something from a high shelf for someone at the grocery store or being willing to give a new mom an hour to herself while you  selflessly hold a sweet baby. The effort is small while the reward is life changing. Soon I hope my Barbara name completely fades and I become Noni to all.

In Him,

Joyful

5-9-22

I am beyond grateful for  

Don't Should All Over Yourself

 There are some of us who 'should' all over ourselves more than others.       Patsy Clairmonte

Boy is this true...we find ourselves apologizing when we need to say no even if the request is unreasonable or not possible. It is in our nature to be there for each other and so we say yes when we just shouldn't. Making boundaries is so difficult and we often apologize when we have nothing to apologize for when the answer must be no. Of course we can say no in a kind way but shouldn't feel the need to explain. 

This year had gut punched me with the unexpected death of my sister. Libby had a horrific car accident that killed her fiance and crushed the right side of her body ten days before my sister died. Since I was camping in the hospital parking lot not allowed to go inside to hold my sister's hand, I never heard about Libby's accident. Let me give you a little background on my relationship with Libby. She was a Young Life middle schooler that I adored. Libby sat on my couch for a week just being there doing her high school work eleven years ago. She walked beside me during the most difficult time. When I found out about the accident I called her. She was still in the hospital with no visitors and away from her daughter. Her physical pain and recovery were overwhelming as was her grief for losing her love. Her words that being isolated was a blessing because she could deal with her truth without the need to be strong for others. She had no need to apologize or keep thanking people that stepped in to care for her seven year old, Ruby. This was a season that she had to focus completely on herself. 

It occurs to me that my needing to stay in the hospital parking lot near my sister even though I could do nothing but pray is so like Libby's need to sit on our couch after our son took his life even though she was simply silently there close by. What a gift is my connection with this young woman with such a huge heart. 

It was months before I spoke with Libby after that hospital call. Ron asked often if I had called her. He appreciated her support of us and my connection to her and knew I should be calling. We offered to have her stay with us when she finally could come home but she needed to be in her own space with Ruby. I should of called, stopped by, brought meals all things I have done time and time again with others who don't mean near as much to me. But although I should didn't mean that I could. Libby was in my heart and thoughts often during those months but with the grieve I was dealing with I couldn't reach out. It makes me ashamed to admit that but it was because I love her so much that it was more than I could handle. 

This summer Libby texted and asked if we could get together. I called and we caught up on everything the past year had thrown at us. I called her as soon as we got home from our trip and she came right over. Sitting on that same couch having coffee together was healing. What grace Libby showed me and she never questioned why I didn't follow my should by being with her through this worst nightmare. She believed me when I told her Ron kept encouraging me to call and I would have if I could have. I think for the first time I was honest about not shoulding myself and was able to have grace for myself. The guilt haunted me for this entire season but I knew I had nothing else to give. 

Jennifer Hayden lost her son to suicide and Ron and I rushed to their home. Her grief prevented her from being there for other families when they faced similar loss. She told me that she was so grateful that Ron and I could be there and that she prayed for us to be strong. Jennifer understood that she needed to be hones in her no even when her heart said she should step up. I admire her and pray she never has guilt about her no. When we can't God will provide others who can. 

Today I am calling Libby to see if we can make a weekly date to get together and just embrace each other. She is not able to drive much so maybe we need to drive off the hill to Santa Fe for lunch. That is if she feels comfortable not because she should join me. 

In Him,

Joyful

9-14-21

Dessert Road Trip at 8pm, WHAT???

Somehow spontaneity fades away as we get older and routine living becomes our norm. When we are young we chase the butterflies in the backyard letting the day unfold as it will. Oh the adults in our life keep us scheduled with soccer, guitr lessons and ballet but in our own time we can sit for hours with Legos or get lost in the digging of a hole in the dirt. Somewhere between school and raising kids  we become calendar slaves and lose our in the moment adventures. The routine of life settles in as we surround our days with that Tuesday night tv must watch, the grocery store shop on Wednesday afternoons to take advantage of double coupons and Friday night pizza night. Life becomes comfortable in its predictability.

It seems that flexibility is becoming more possible in this technological age. Between streaming your favorite show so you can watch it when you want to watch it, food pickup, and Alexa keeping track of our ‘to do’ list.   We can all say yes if something better comes up without missing out on our normal Monday Night Football. Now if we can muster the gumption to say yes in the moment and get off the couch. Breaking free of our routines is mental as well as physical. There are a few friends in my life that say yes anytime a great idea pops into their heads or they get that phone call asking if they can ride along with a friend somewhere. I long to be that person but more often than not I turn down the opportunity and just rest in my routine. Ron is good at grabbing life and getting out on the road. I want to be the yes person more often.

For a few years I have been wanting to have some young ladies that I knew from school and Young Life come join me ‘routinely’ and serve them dinner. Most have had great losses in their lives. Too much heartbreak for only being in their twenties. Many are Moms now and are caught up in their own responsibilities and roustines. God put it on my heart to serve them, honor them, just spend time with them. After years of procrastination I said yes and we have begun getting together. It is starting out small but we hope others will say yes and join us soon. What I should have realized is that I am getting so much more out of these visits than I give. It is such a joy to connect with them as adults rather than teens. I have to admit my halo is getting tarnished as I openly share with them more about who I am than they knew a decade ago.

Last night after eating hot dogs and baked beans I served them Pop Tarts for dessert. I am an excellent cook!!! We started talking about our favorite desserts and the next thing I knew we were in the car driving thirty miles to get the perfect tiramisu. I am thankful to Ron for staying to watch Blue Bloods with my Mom and giving us the keys to his Blazer. This unexpected bolt from routine was glorious. What a delight my saying yes to this new part of my week. I adore the connections we are creating in our ‘yes’ attitudes.

I can’t wait to see where life will take me if I only set my routines aside and dive in to the spontaneous.

In Him,
Joyful
2-27-19

Could You Help Me With This?

"Never do any tasks alone that you could do with a kid/teen." That was advice I received at a Young Life leader's training. Today on Facebook there was a post about youth not knowing basic skills of being an adult like changing a tire or baking a cake. It is true that not all schools teach home economics and auto shop anymore. Budget cuts and increasing graduation requirements are no excuse for us not providing basic life skills. Truth is not all students would or do choose these classes even when they are offered. We encouraged our own kids to take building trades and ROTC to learn how to build a house and to experience what the military has to offer. Communities raise children. Spending time with kids and letting them be helpful is a way we can all teach, encourage and raise resilient adults.

The story at the YL conference was that this leader was going to cancel a planned outing for teens because he got a load of rock that he needed to spread in his backyard. Then it occurred to him that he could include the kids rather than cancelling on them. Teens rolling each other around in wheelbarrows, laughter, and accomplishment of a job well done were the rewards. Of course, there was pizza, water hose fights and exhaustion at the end of the day. Working together on that backyard was probably way more memorable than any other event they had planned.

I used to be good about reaching out and including someone even if my trip to Santa Fe was just to go to Sam's Club for groceries and tires. The conversations were what mattered not what we were doing.  I am guilty of thinking no one would want to do that and so I don't call. Connections are so important in life and with our busy lives we tend to work alone and then try to fit in a half hour here or there to grab coffee and catch up. Barn raising was a real thing. Neighbors coming together to work together on each other's barn to get it up and ready quickly. The pictures we see of those times tell it all. It was not only about building a barn but coming together as a community to work together. The spread of food looks delicious too as the reward at the end of a long day.

So next time you are cleaning out the garage, rotating your tires, or making applesauce, include a kid or call a neighbor. That is how we can all learn those adult skills and connect with each other in the process. Guaranteed that your chores will be less tedious and you may even have a great time.

In Him,
Joyful
6-30-16

Carrie Will Show Him His Influence By Influencing Him

I just got a wonderful message from Carrie who I never got to teach but had in Young Life during her middle school years. She is doing her student teaching this year. Her words honor me that my heart for students impacted her. What crushes my heart is the reality of her words that some teachers can't find the truth of their opportunity to make a difference in the lives of their students.

"Had to write about an inspiring teacher today and thought of you. Just thought I'd send you a quick message to let you know you're awesome and you change lives everyday!"

"I'm doing my student teaching right now and the mentor whose room I'm in is so jaded and negative. He makes fun of me for advocating for small changes for my kids, telling me it's pointless and that I'm naive to think I can really make a difference, or that since we have 204 kids it's impossible to care. At first, I was mad at him for being so pessimistic, but I think it's really not his fault. Maybe no one made him feel like he was important or he had the power to make a difference. It's mad me see the importance of thanking those who have made an impact and letting them know what a difference caring about your students can make. So please pass it on!"

Our conversation continued about how much she can influence him this semester and ultimately improve the situation for his students. If she 'acts as if' he is making a difference and catches him being positive he may move, even a tiny bit, toward being the teacher he can be.

It breaks my heart for this man and for the students who pass through his class. His days at school must be grueling rather than rewarding. The truth is teachers have this incredible opportunity to touch lives each and everyday.

1 Corinthians 16:14  Do everything in love.

Kids touch my life everyday. Like Carrie the students who I touch are connected for life. They are the pearls of teaching. Each one has made a difference in who I am with their courage as they walk through their own stories and share them with me.

204 students is a lot and of course you can't build deep and meaningful relationships with each one. What you can do is encourage all and pick out the dozen that you need to go deeper with and do it. It can be as simple as noticing the books they like to read or the team's jersey they are wearing. Just a connection to make a student feel that they are valued, connected. Some go through their days, weeks alone feeling invisible. No one should feel invisible.  Everyone matters.

Carrie had a rough road and walked it with grace. She was courageous and beautiful as a middle schooler and will be such a gift to her future students. Her heart gives me hope that even this teacher will be different by the time she finishes student teaching with him. I applaud his change of heart for his future students believing Carrie will open his eyes.

In Him,
Joyful
8-26-15

Get A Job Loser~God Bless You

"Get a job loser!"

For years the kids and I have been making 'God Bless You bags' to give out to people on the streets. We first made them with Young Life girls when we went to Calvary Chapel in Los Alamos with Cam and Britt's youth group. Since then I have tried to keep a stash of them behind the seat of my car to hand out the window to people. They are not just for homeless people. Anyone selling newspapers on the street or road crew guys, really anyone can be encouraged by a small act of kindness.

A God Bless You bag is a small brown paper bag that has food, a drink and an encouraging word in it.  Typically, we put fruit snacks, peanut butter cheese crackers, a Capri Sun and let the kids write something positive on a small note. We then decorate the bag and keep them at hand in the backseat. The reason we call them 'God Bless You bags' and not 'homeless bags' is because whenever we offer one the recipient says, "God Bless You."

A couple years ago I decided to make the bags in my class at the middle school. It seemed like a great way to get the kids to think outside themselves. We made so many bags that I gave Natalie some to pass out in Colorado Springs.  One day she was busy running around and starving. So she grabbed a bag to eat herself and was shocked when she read the note inside. 'Get a job loser.' Not exactly the encouraging message we were going for. She told me I better check the rest of the bags before I gave out any more of them. I was upset because we both had passed out several of the bags. How heartbreaking that someone may have been put down rather than being lifted up. 

 When I spoke to my class about it no one confessed. But I think who ever wrote it was trying to be funny. By the end of our discussion they understood how it could affect someone to read that ugly message. It actually became a learning moment that wouldn't have been possible without the hurtful words. Lesson learned.

In Him,

Joyful

7-28-15

“From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.  These things should not be so, my brothers and sisters.”   James 3:10 

Young Life Girls Become Family For Life

My girls, my family~~Young Life lives on in my heart and in the relationships and lessons we shared.

I was gifted with being a YL leader for years before we lost Ryan. When I signed up I believed I would bless these middle school kids with Jesus' love.  God quickly showed me that I was the one that would be transformed.

Our 3 word prayers brought me back 'under one roof', we spent time praying for each other, crying in a puddle on the floor with our arms wrapped around each other, and there was even feet washing. I set out to serve and ended being served and loved.

I have not been a leader for over 5 years now but the continued impact on my life, my faith and my heart still grow. Young Life gave me the courage to pray out loud for others. The girls taught me to drop everything and run to those who need me. When Ry died they were here in my house immediately and held me up. As one girl revealed the fresh cuts on her feet that she had inflicted others stepped forward raising their sleeves and pant legs to reveal their own scars.

Though we are not in touch as often because of college, families, and jobs, they continue to support me on FB and with their time and prayers. Tomorrow I hope to go to lunch with one lovely lady, today at church I had a perfect conversation and hug with another. They include me in their lives though invitations and allowing me to be a reference for them. What an honor to be asked to be a reference for someone. They choose maybe three people to share how great they are. When I am asked I feel so humbled to be one of their choices.

What I got from Young Life was far beyond the time and energy I spent. One of my fondest memories were the Saturday morning breakfasts at my house. Getting to listen to the girl's stories and see their faith grow was beyond anything I ever experienced. Each of them are on their own paths. My hope is that in good times and bad they remember that they never have to walk through life alone. Jesus is always only a whisper away. We are always ready to pray for each other.  A three word prayer.

YL helped me understand my life's goal..........To know Him and to make Him known.

In Him,
Joyful
7-12-15

Young Life Has Added So Much To My Life -Day 3

Involvement in Young Life has added so much to my life  and I am grateful. I became a YL leader to continue reaching out to 2 students I had in 4th, 5th, and 6th grade when they went to middle school. Life is hard for young ones these days and I believe that walking beside them is so crucial. Dr. Brooks said in his book, Raising Resilient Kids, that having an adult who cares is key to making successful choice and weathering the teen years.

We began our Saturday morning breakfasts at my house; dress code jammies, slippers, and bedheads. I love cooking for a herd and my own kids had flown the coop. Having a house full of hungry, chattering girls was heavenly. They are my family and allowed me to be a part of their lives and certainly are an important part of mine. Their thirst for someone to listen and their love of Christ encouraged me. My prayer is that no matter what life brings they will always know they are loved and supported.

What I was blessed with in Young Life was not only the relationships with teenagers. It was the first time I was comfortable praying out loud in my life. At leaders meetings, we would pray for individual kids for hours. My love and concern overruled my fear and I prayed. The freedom to pray boldly and publicly has been life changing.

Besides a new courage, my own walk with Christ grew closer and I found that I was not walking alone through the challenges in my own life.  But leaning into Him for strength and support. For all that Young Life has blessed me with, I am grateful.

In Him,
Joyful
11-3-12

Missing Daddys

Daddy's birthday yesterday was difficult and made for a tearful day for the first time in years. Today I am going to the funeral of one of my Young Life girl's father. She is a junior in high school and loved her Dad. He was one of those involved Dad's that we always saw in the halls at school, volunteering for projects driving kids to and from activities. Life got the better of him last week and he ended it all. So hard to understand that act. There is just no way to understand it because it is not a rational decision.

Again I am reminded of how judgemental I was before Ryan made that same choice. He was such an empathetic person always thinking of others feelings and reaching out to comfort and encourage. No way did he think through the consequences of his last act or he would never have ended it that way. My feelings changed about suicide. It is not selfish. It is irrational and desperate but not selfish.

So today I will somehow make it through this service for my girl's sake. She was one of the amazing teens who were there for me after I lost Ry and I will be there to love on her during her rough months ahead. Putting others before myself even when it is hard is what Christ would do so I will lean on Him and hope she can lean on Him as well.

Today is not about me but boy do I miss my Dad and my son. My eyes keep weeping at the thought of her young heart losing her daddy to such a tragedy.

In Him,
Joyful
11-18-11

He Couldn't Change His Feelings

Natalie and I were blessed to share a weekend with these talented disciples at Frontier Ranch for a Young Life leader's weekend. What an amazing message of Christ's love for us. He is reaching out we just need to step into His arms.

In Him,
Joyful
11-6-11

Kenzie, My Reassuring Angel

I am humbled that God has allowed me to be a part of some amazing young people's lives. As I step out of my role in Young Life and move toward Celebrate Recovery I feel God's hands pressing me forward with both His hands gently on my back. The opportunity He gives me to be in the lives of others amazes me. I just need to pray to say 'yes' as He leads me toward this new ministry. Not qualified but willing is what I need to be.

Today was extremely difficult in my classroom, with a friend and I began to wonder and doubt my ability to accomplish anything. Then tonight, God sent me an angel in the form of a college student whom I love. Kenzie went to camp with us in middle school shortly after her mother died. Then she became a leader by saying 'yes' when God put it on both our hearts that we needed to lead together. Now she is a sophomore in college and continues to be an incredible disciple for Christ. She honored me with a Facebook message that moved me to tears. Her words humble me and reassure me that God has a plan for me to love on others. Celebrate Recovery here I come. Thank you Lord for the reassurance through Kenzie's words.

this is Kenzie :) I just wanted to let you know that I am so grateful to have had you as a leader and to have you in my life still. You have taught me so much and had a really huge influence on me and the person I am today.... I miss going to your house for breakfast.....and getting dinner before club...and the long talks during the road trips....and all my experiences at camp...... I just want you to know how much you have done for me as a person and how influential you are to everyone around you. Thank you so much for being such a huge part of my life and for always having faith in me....and for always supporting me no matter what. I will be back in NM next semester and we MUST see each other again! I'm bummed I never went to Los Alamos this summer.... but when I get back....mark your schedule for a date with me!!! Love you Barb!


I am truly blessed!


In Him,
Joyful
10-19-11

Humbly Honored By An Incredible Young Lady

Received a note in a graduation announcement that humbles me. Carrie is a young lady that I met when she was in 7th grade. I had her 2 younger sisters in my class and knew life was hard for them. She agreed to come to Young Life Camp with me in San Diego. Her mom was a mess but I didn't know how much of a mess until she told me she knew my granddaughter. She had babysat her when her mom and my son went to do 'business'. I knew my son was dealing drugs at the time so the knowledge that these girls were living in this horror was heartbreaking.

At camp, I fell in love with the spirit of this incredible, mature, young lady. As the oldest sister, she was the rock for her 2 kid sisters. This letter tells me that I touched her life. What she doesn't realize is that she touched my life. She gave me hope that my granddaughter can grow up to be incredible despite her circumstances.

God has blessed me with the opportunity to be a part of young girls lives through Young LIfe. Now I am  feeling led by Him to reach out to young adult ladies. There are so many heartbreaks in your early 20s and sometimes it feels like you are so alone. Guess I am learning to listen to his directions a little more as I get older. My heart knows that any reaching out I do will bring more blessings to me than I could possibly give.

Thanks Carrie, you humble me with your words and your love. I thank God He put us in each other's lives.

In Him,
Joyful



Mrs. Barber
4-28-11

I'm very excited to announce my graduation, but I'm also sending this as a thank you. I'm sure you weren't even aware of it at the time, but you had a very dramatic impact on my life. You are the one of the most beautiful and caring (not to mention strong!) human beings I have ever met. You came into my life just when I needed someone to look up to, and you were that person.  I just needed someone to genuinely care about me and you did. I don't even have words to describe how much that meant and still means to me. You truly did change my life.
I'm sending you this announcement because, without you, I honestly don't know if I would be graduating this year.
I know life can get hard sometimes,but I hope that, just as you did for me, I can make your life brighter by showing I care for you. Bec ause I do care immensely. I wish you only the best in life, you deserve no less!

Much love,
 Carrie

Service With A Smile

To serve others not only benefits those we serve but is an incredible gift we give ourselves. This weekend I was blessed to be apart of the work crew at our Young Life winter camp in Colorado. A group of amazing  people shopped, scheduled, cooked, served, and cleaned for our high school friends so that they along with their leaders could have an incredible weekend. While we stayed in the background providing for them, they enjoyed 2 days of skiing and snowboarding, skits, deep conversations, and a wonderful speaker. The whole idea of YL is to bring the excellence of Christ to teens and this week with a sink full of dishes I got to take on a different role in providing just that.

Normally, I am one of the leaders in the middle of all the excitement with the teens. This experience of being a servant in the background was new for me. I really didn't know what to expect. What I found out was how much fun the work crew has while selflessly doing everything to provide a flawless weekend of delicious meals and snacks at just the right times. Making sure that their is an abundance and everyone has everything they desire was so fulfilling.

The night we prepared hot dogs and hamburgers one camper asked where the sauteed onions were while sitting at a table with almost every fixing imaginable. Instead of treating him as ungrateful, I popped in the kitchen and heated up the butter in the pan to show him that he was worth the effort to cook up a few onions. You should have seen the look on his face as I presented him with his request. He was impressed and felt like he mattered. Another guy asked me if he could have a whole bag of mini eclairs as I was refilling the bowl on his table for the 3rd time. His expression was laughable as I handed him the rest of the bag. Needless to say, I had a connection with both of them for the rest of the weekend.

It takes so little effort to convince someone that we care. Taking that step into service was humbling, exhausting and humbling. God put me with just the right people to laugh and cry and share hearts with this weekend. The work crew not only served teens and leaders, we formed a lasting bond with each other. Our gift is new friendships, prayer partners, and a whole lot of funny stories about our new found cohorts. Some stories I could share in this blog and some are best just remembered with a smile.

JOY Jesus, Others, then Yourself. I love that. Whenever we live a joy filled life God puts us on the receiving end of so much more than we give.

In Him,
Joyful
1-17-2011

Trusting Us Enough To Wash Her Feet

A year ago at a Young Life breakfast we spent the morning eating wonderful food and writing love on our arms with beautifully, colored markers. The dozen or so girls who were in my living room that Saturday morning were also treated to haircuts from the talented Miss Tammy. I sat in my usual spot enjoying the interactions of this easy going group of high school freshmen.

As I sat there, I had an overwhelming urge to ask the girls if I could wash their feet. Stubbornly, I put the thought to the back of my mind, reminding God that most of these girls would not even get the Biblical ideal of Christ serving others. But the nagging continued. Trying to shake it off I convinced myself that they would think I was a weirdo or pervert if I asked to wash their feet. But the push from above continued reminding me that I had earned the trust of these girls and would find the words to explain.

So I jumped in. Cathy and I took turns washing and drying the girls feet as they sat on the kitchen counter with their feet in the fragrant, warm water. When we got to one of my favorite girls, she winced as I washed her feet. At first, I thought she was ticklish then we saw the bottoms of her feet. They were cut to pieces in every direction. With tears in her eyes she revealed that she was a cutter. She had trusted this group with her most intimate secret and sat there with her feet in pain waiting for our reaction. One by one the other girls came and showed her their own scars from cutting and gave her the most tender hugs. Instead of shame her truth was met with acceptance and understanding.

God gave me that push and I praise him for my saying yes. That morning we were writing love on our arms as a hope for girls to choose love and life over cutting and depression. None of us were aware of this particular girl's anguish until through her courage she was able to share it with us.

She and I started writing together in January last year as an alternative to the blade that she craved. Last week, she told me that she has been blade free for the past 5 months. I am so proud of her and am so blessed to have her in my life. Her courage astounds me everyday. The hardships she endures are intense but she has turned to others to get through and relies on her faith more than ever.

In Him,
Joyful
11-13-2010

"To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.  TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery."

There, I Will Be There

A day of praise and prayers. I love Young Life Leaders meetings it is a family of believers who have been called to bring Christ into the lives of teens in our town. These people who I have had the honor of walking beside in youth ministry are loving and kind and firm in their faith. We come together once a month to plan, worship, pray for each other and catch up on our individual lives. Each of them loves the others and their families.

It is sometimes a battle that we walk into in ministering on high school and middle school campuses to youth. Today, we read how Esther was willing to walk into danger to save her people. We must be willing to risk and boldly reach out to kids with the truth about our Christ. There is an urgency to cast the nets for youth in our town and in our country. Their eternity depends on it!

I am humbled by the task and although unqualified, willing to step out and prayerfully begin this new year with Him. So many youth feel abandoned these days our attention to them can be a powerful tool in giving them a glimpse of Christ's never ending love.

The idea this year is to be there. When kids say who are those people? Or parents inquire about the lady with the YL on her shirt, our hope is that they will say those people are the ones who are always there. There to pitch in and help, there to listen, there to give rides, there to do whatever needs to be done. Being there is how we earn the right to be heard by parents, kids, and school staffs. This is essential in reaching every kid everywhere for eternity. A lofty goal perhaps but 1 that is worth striving for.

The furthest out kid is not coming into our churches, so we must go out and be there in his or her world. So my prayer request is simple; give me the strength, energy, and courage to be there in my community for teens.

In Him,
Joyful
8-29-10