"You have so much grace for other people's kids.' Someone once called me out with that statement when my kids were teens. Why is it that although we love our own the most, we are by far the most critical of them? Not only critical but at least I was less likely to give them the benefit of the doubt. My hope is that my motivation was wanting so desperately for them to succeed and not at all about how it would reflect on me if they failed. Sometimes looking back in my mental mirror can be hard.
Even now, with adult children in their 20s, it is hard not to over advice them. Honestly, it is just my way of not trusting them. Hard truth about me. Knowing that I am one of those parents who tries to control instead of having faith. I have to physically turn my palms up and pray for peace. It helps me realize that I have had my hands and my heart palms down grabbing control. This trying to hold on too tight to their lives is never successful or healthy. It only serves to drive a wedge in our relationship rather than protecting and directing them.
I am up early today after a particularly naughty day of bullying my amazing daughter over the best ways of shampooing carpets, Talk about ridiculous! In the scheme of live, the amount of time ahead you prescrub the spots on the carpet or how thoroughly you rinse really is of no consequence. But there I was repeating myself to make sure she understood completely how crucial my instructions were. At least, I stopped short of writing them all down and making her check them off.
Today started way too early as I reflect back on my stubborn behavior from last night. Believe me, I will not be waking her up early to point out spots she missed. As I leave for work, I will be tiptoeing in to give her a hug and let her know that even though her mom can be a brat, I eventually realize it.
I have every confidence that the carpets will be fabulous when I get home. It is also my belief that God can do a better job of protecting and guiding my loved ones better than I can. Reminding myself of this is something I need to do more often. Praying is a much better choice than ranting.
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10 Oh yeah, I get it.
In Him,
Joyful
1-11-2011
WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGE #578
4 days ago
thanks for sharing this-and for your honesty. it's hard to let go in certain things, but once we do, it seems like there's so much more room for other things. Good reminder for every area of life!
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