My amazing daughter moved out this weekend. Just across town, but it will be different with her not under our roof. She had lived a couple hours away at college, but returned home last May after losing her much loved brother. Life just got overwhelming, and she needed to be home for a bit. I thank God for that because I needed her home, and having my 3 remaining children all in our hometown has helped all of us get through the grieving process together.
One hard thing she experienced about being home in our little hometown was unexpected. Here everyone knows everyone, so people all stopped her to ask how Ron and I were coping with Ryan's death. This broke her heart! Now I am sure they were not trying to be insensitive, but why didn't they ask her how SHE was coping? She lost a brother that she adored and needed their support. This made her feel invisible and insignificant. It somehow minimized her grief or made it seem as parents, we were suffering more than she was. I am convinced each of them was being loving and kind and would be mortified to know how deeply this hurt her. Even when we are unaware our words can cut at times.
I am so proud of her for striking out on her own again. She and I have plans to go to the gym together, and I plan to try to steal a lunch once a week with her. Actually, I seem to talk to my kids more when they are not living at home. Hope that stays the case with her now that she will be a mile away.
Now you would think Ron and I would finally be empty nesters, but that may not last too long. We keep praying that his 86 year old mom would come live with us from Arizona. That would be a blessing for all of us and keep her from being so lonely in her home. Just hard to convince her though. Tanner is thinking of moving in for a few months while he finishes his EMT courses. It really is true about revolving bedrooms. We never seem to be just the 2 of us for more than a few weeks at a time. You know, we wouldn't have it any other way. When the kids were little someone bought me a plaque that said, "I prefer my little birdhouse full!" That was true then, and it is true now.
Don't think we will be lonely if no one moves in for a while. Living with a wonderful park just outside our backyard, there are beginning to be more happy sounds as families enjoy the warmer weather. There is also scouts and Young Life to keep us entertained.
In Him,
Joyful
2-21-2011
ss
One hard thing she experienced about being home in our little hometown was unexpected. Here everyone knows everyone, so people all stopped her to ask how Ron and I were coping with Ryan's death. This broke her heart! Now I am sure they were not trying to be insensitive, but why didn't they ask her how SHE was coping? She lost a brother that she adored and needed their support. This made her feel invisible and insignificant. It somehow minimized her grief or made it seem as parents, we were suffering more than she was. I am convinced each of them was being loving and kind and would be mortified to know how deeply this hurt her. Even when we are unaware our words can cut at times.
I am so proud of her for striking out on her own again. She and I have plans to go to the gym together, and I plan to try to steal a lunch once a week with her. Actually, I seem to talk to my kids more when they are not living at home. Hope that stays the case with her now that she will be a mile away.
Now you would think Ron and I would finally be empty nesters, but that may not last too long. We keep praying that his 86 year old mom would come live with us from Arizona. That would be a blessing for all of us and keep her from being so lonely in her home. Just hard to convince her though. Tanner is thinking of moving in for a few months while he finishes his EMT courses. It really is true about revolving bedrooms. We never seem to be just the 2 of us for more than a few weeks at a time. You know, we wouldn't have it any other way. When the kids were little someone bought me a plaque that said, "I prefer my little birdhouse full!" That was true then, and it is true now.
Don't think we will be lonely if no one moves in for a while. Living with a wonderful park just outside our backyard, there are beginning to be more happy sounds as families enjoy the warmer weather. There is also scouts and Young Life to keep us entertained.
In Him,
Joyful
2-21-2011
ss
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