Sunday, August 26, 2012

Share Your Insecurities

We all struggle with insecurity at times throughout our lives. Though we look at others and only see confidence on the outside, on their inside their are areas of life that each and everyone feels less than competent in. The best way to handle situations where we are unsure of ourselves is with honesty. Letting others know that you may need assistance or even some understanding is better than putting on a bold face and then falling flat on it.

After a lifetime of teaching, I am at a middle school for the very first time. Although I am not a first year teacher with no experience, it is not just the students that are interestingly different at this level. All their systems, staff interactions, and philosophies are just not what I am used to. It would be easy for me to plow through and try to do my job alone. But I have found it is so much better to admit that I have no clue how to get things done and reach out for the help I need. Not only are others willing to help but they appreciate the fact that I am willing to learn their ways and try to fit into ways that work well at this level.

A few of my friends are boldly reaching out  to the dating scene after years of being as they say 'off the market'. It is so unnerving to put yourself out their for the scrutiny of the opposite sex to see if you measure up to their desires. I am so impressed that each of these ladies is willing to take the risk even while they are terrified of rejection. Most of us look in the mirror and see what is not great in who is looking back at us. It is hard to appreciate mirror selves when we are in our 20s. How much harder to feel secure in our attractiveness in our 50s. Reaching out to friends for support and encouragement and banding together to be able to laugh at themselves has given them the courage to put themselves out there. Knowing that this is not easy but can be lived through if they don't have to walk through it alone. Having an EHarmony sign up night with a few friends, a bottle of wine, and a raspberry cheesecake is way more fun than trying to describe yourself online alone with a box of tissues.

My mom is in her late 70s and most of her friends are widowed and in failing health. Their days are so different. They don't have to worry about work or the dating scene but their lives are not all carefree. They spend their time at doctors appointments that are sometimes more frightening than when they had toddlers to worry about. Even in this time of life it is so important to share their insecurities and loneliness with each other. God did not design us to be silently strong with whatever fears and pain we are going through. Reaching out to others who can love us and understand makes it better for us and we end up being there for our friends as well. I love that my mom gets together with friends each week to play cards and share a laugh or two. One of the ladies she plays with is in a wheelchair and homebound and boy does she look forward to playing cards each week. I am sure it is comforting to know that others are not just there to bring groceries or run her to the doctor but to truly enjoy her company.

Whatever we are going through in life whether we are in our awkward teens or our late 70s letting others in and being honest about our fears and insecurities makes it so much easier in life. When we admit our own needs others are able to help but also feel more comfortable being honest with us about how we can help them. Sharing ourselves with others gets more difficult with our busy lives these days but the payoff for taking the time and having the courage to do so is worth it.

In Him,


  1. I am proud to say that I am one of the ladies who is trying the dating scene after 40 years of no dating.

  2. I agree wholeheartedly. My post last week was on insecurity too. I have such a heart for women who feel like they are all alone.

    Thanks Barbara