Sunday, September 23, 2012

Forgiveness Doesn't Always Lead to Reconciliation

Forgiveness doesn't always lead to reconciliation. That is an extremely difficult concept since we always want to be forgiven but also for everyone to be okay with us. One of the hardest things to admit in life is sometimes it is just not possible to remain friends with someone who you loved like family. I love the saying, 'friends are family we choose for ourselves'. That was engraved on a ring a special friend gave me a few years back. Although, it would be nice to believe that like family, all friends would stay a part of our lives forever, it doesn't always work out that way. Unlike family, they can choose to just walk away. I guess even family does walk away from each other too sometimes.

Thankfully, this has only happened to me a couple times in my life. Each time I hounded the other person until I finally had to face the fact that no response meant time to walk away. I don't want to lose anyone in life.

 There are those friends who are situational relationships. When our kids are on a sports team together,  when we live right next door,  coworkers, or when we are in a play group together. Some relationships are not meant to be for a lifetime. That is not what I am talking about. I grieve those lifelong friendships that slip away or come to an abrupt end because of hurt feelings or misunderstandings.

We need to forgive each other even if we cannot repair the damage and continue the relationship. Shutting each other out only creates a wound that won't heal and makes for awkward encounters around town. None of us could keep up with our social life if we still hung out with everyone we ever hung out with. But there are those few that we live on with regrets over how the relationship dissolved.

Today I pray for forgiveness to all I have hurt with my words, attitudes, or neglect. I will accept if reconciliation is not a part of that forgiveness eventually.

In Him,

 Proverbs 12:18

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.   


  1. Your prayer at the end is meaningful to me. As you say, some friendships exist only for a season.

  2. I absolutely love your devo here. It is a very sad situation when you lose one of your very close friends. It is as though you lose a piece of your heart. Not sure why I haven't been to your blog before...but, I'm going to enjoy looking around. Joining you via GFC. Lovely post.

    Erin @ Chronic Christian Crafter

  3. Sometimes there are friends whose lives get busy. Maybe you reconnect years later. Sometimes we've changed, sometimes they've changed. Sometimes there is a misunderstanding or a real difference of opinions. What is the hardest lesson for me to learn was forgiveness doesn't always lead to reconciliation. I just love your prayer.

  4. This is an important topic that is not addressed very often. And a painful one at that.

    Recently I have been able to make small steps with a friendship that I thought was over. (after years of no contact.) Makes my heart happy.