Monday, September 17, 2012

My God Shaped Hole

The expression 'you have a God-shaped hole' is one we use often to explain that a nonbeliever is struggling through life because they don't know God. That relationship with Him that fills a need that nothing else can fill is the idea for this statement. But how often in our own walks through life do we turn to other fillers even when we do have a personal relationship with Him.

I know I am guilty of this. When life is collapsing I cling to my relationship with Christ and don't have to walk through the storm alone. This was so true when my son, Ryan took his own life, a couple years ago. That was so hard I couldn't even try to survive on my own. I surrounded myself with those who love me and spent most of my time on my knees in constant contact with my Lord, my Savior, my Strength.

Why then when life is chugging along with only lesser obstacles on the tracks do I choose to keep my distance? Is it really just a focus issue? Or do I somehow not want to face my own disobedience that has caused me to veer off course and accept responsibility for my actions. Even my faithful dog, Kylie, retreats behind the couch when she has misbehaved rather than coming to sit by my side on the couch. How like her I am when life may be falling apart because of my missteps avoiding others and the One who can nudge me in the right direction.

So instead of picking up my Bible study, I spend time on my cell phone Solitaire or watching endless hours of House Hunters on HGTV.  Rather than taking a prayer walk or reaching out to a friend for a coffee date, I waste time in a variety of unproductive activities. Meanwhile, my loneliness and worry build and the very concern I have festers and doesn't get resolved. I create my own 'God-shaped hole even though I know how healthy I am when I let Him fill my life with His love and even His discipline.

One of my favorite hymns when I was little was really just a verse of a song that I didn't even know the name. I heard it at a summer camp and that verse comforted me in troubled times.
             and Jesus said come to the water, stand by my side
             i know you are thirsty, you won't be denied
             I felt every teardrop, when in darkness you cried
             and I strove to remind you, that for those tears I died.

                     Marsha Stevens

Maturity should find me turning to what I know comforts and supports me. Oh but I still need reminders and am blessed that His love is always just a breath away when I finally choose to embrace it.

In Him,


  1. What a beautiful reminder that we need Him ALL the time and not just in times of trouble. I know I'm sure guilty of this. Thanks for reminding me.

  2. I guess I'm not the only one who needs to learn and relearn. This is an awesome honest reminder.

  3. Thank you Barbara, for sharing your heart with us. Everyone can probably relate to this heart-felt post. I am truly thankful to our Lord, who walks by our side, and patiently waits for us.
    Blessings in His name.