Hugs even in the Butt Plants

  Look at me. I am walking and you are clapping. Woahhhh here I go again. Butt time but you are still celebrating even my butt flop. 

Caleb is learning to walk. What a privilege to be so near my great-grandson and to see his first steps. Along with the joy is the knowledge that there won’t be too many times he loses his balance and we don’t cheer him on. Watching a baby become a toddler is one of the times in life that we have unlimited patience and encouragement. Even missteps are celebrated. Caleb’s smiles in all three pictures tell just how much he knows he is loved. 

Wouldn’t it be great if we could give our kids and each other that much grace as we get older. Not that we celebrate a five year old biting or a teenager stealing the family car. But we can recognize that all of us stumble, lose our balance and fall. Perhaps we need to give consequences to the actions while still loving. I know I respond better when a friend gently corrects me privately rather than humiliating me in front of others. 

My three year old Felix needs more correction than Caleb and that is expected. When he sits for three minutes in time out I praise him for obeying and sitting. We always talk about the why, hug longer than he wants and then find a way to laugh together and redirect. The after punishment is the most important. 

When I was a kid and what I then did with my kids was to remove them from the situation. Take them into the bathroom, sit them on the closed toilet, and get to eye level with them. This respected their privacy, gave us one another’s full attention , and rest them to go back and play. I am so thankful my mom and aunts treated me this way so I knew the value for my own children and grands. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if we treated other adults this same way. Not sitting them on the pot but having a face to face private conversation and ending the chat with a hug and chuckle if possible. I say pick a neutral place, drive separate cars just in case, and most of all work at hearing each other’s hearts rather than listening to our own preconceived ideas. This is best practice. Worst practice is letting hurts fester and gossiping to everyone else about someone’s missteps. Last I checked, telling Madeline how awful Janie treated me does nothing to repair my relationship with Janie. Heck, she may not even know I am miffed or that anything is wrong. Besides now Madeline knows I will most likely talk about her rather than trusting her with my hurt feelings. Wouldn’t it be better to simplify and go to the source? 

Not one of us doesn’t wobble and fall at times. We are more likely to get up and try again if those around us encourage and love us rather than shaming and condemning. We should encourage as many times as we forgive. 

In other words, be an encourager and forgives as many tines as you celebrate first steps that also come with endless butt plants. Our compassion matters. Isn’t that what we hope for when we stumble ourselves?

In Him, 

Joyful

                                                6-3-23