Trust and Let Them

 What a loving way of saying stay in my own lane. I feel like this is something I need tattooed in my eyelids. There are many ways of saying this. Not my monkeys, not my circus are a couple. But this heartfelt let them feels like a positive directive rather than a harsh one. Let them take the reins in life doesn’t mean I can’t be there to step beside them when they reach out for help. It simply means I need to focus on my path and not keep trying to direct other’s journey. Isn’t that the whole caricature of the mother-in-law? She is certain she knows best and imposes her ideas and judgement on her family. That is not who I want to be. That is not how I want others to view me. So let them takes my hands off their steering wheel just as I did when they were learning to drive. 

Sometimes it is scary and I am sure their choice is not the right one. But when I butt in I might just change their direction from a success I couldn’t even imagine. Or I may have prevented them from a lesson a misstep might provide to protect them in the future. Either way, it is my task to be present and not imposing, close but not hovering, available but not intrusive. 

I recognize this is a subject that I speak to often. Being present in adult children and adult grandkiddo’s lives is a balancing act. Thankfully, Ronnie B is here to focus me on our adventures together. When I take his hand and step out with him, I’m not focusing on others but who we are in our golden years. And let them is a two way street. Our kids need to be okay when we live our lives and how we spend our time. I think the pull to spend time equally with our kids is more complex when they live close to one another but far from us. Going to visit becomes a balancing act of spending enough time with everyone so nobody gets hurt feelings. 

Perhaps, LET THEM a bit like learning to drive a self driving car. I am so used to having my hands on the steering wheel directing where the tires go that letting go to drive hands free is frightening. Eventually it will be easier to trust that the car knows where to go but initially giving up the controls is hard. Maybe I need to throw my hands up as they are not required to steer when I feel the need to insert my unasked for advice.  Phyllis shared that she has learned that listening is always better than giving unwanted advice. She even said it is incredible that she has a tongue since she has had to bite it so often over a lifetime. 

Let them feels like a new life verse. Heck, I even joined a facebook group dedicated to this concept. Reading others struggles with trust helps me see where I have grown over the years and where I need to take my hands off even more. For now I will give myself grace and listen when others tell me I got this you can let go.

In Him,

Joyful

2-6-25