Noni, Barbara, Barb, or Perhaps Jamia

 It has taken years to get to this point of loving me rather than continuously judging me and feeling I fall short. My name would not have been my pick since its meaning is stranger or foreigner. That makes me feel like an outsider. Most people have shortened my name to Barb, which is a flesh tearing device whether on a fence or the end of a fishing line. What I would prefer to be called is Noni. Certainly Barbie has never been me. Only my dad and grandpa Peabody got away with calling me that. For a while I hoped to get others to call me Annie which is a derivative of my middle name. But that never happened. 

What I do know at this age is that I am not a stranger unless I choose to keep others at arms length. I also recognize that being called Mom or Barbara or Noni is not about the name but the person who is connecting with me. Would I choose to have grown up with a different name? Probably. But loving Barbara is about loving me not my given name. I am so grateful for the life I have lived that included people enough to be connected to them through a lifetime or a moment. So here is to Barbara, Barb, at one point Barbalicious from my teenage boys friends thinking that was humorous. 

Loving ourselves is key to a joyful life. My hope with others and now with myself as well is to encourage and support rather than judging and condemning. So today I will love Barbara Ann Friedman Barber and rejoice in the life I have lived bumps and missteps and all. This journey of mine is worth celebrating. Let the knowledge that every poor choice I made led me to this day. It is not only my successes that brought me here. 

So lift your hands to you and pat yourself on the back for the journey you have traveled. Love yourself. Like yourself. Embrace your life and be glad with who you are and how far you have traveled. Today, I am Noni to more than the twelve grandkiddlets I get to call my family. I am Noni to my extended family who have walked beside me through heartcrushing days and days that felt frivolous and fun. I am going to look back on the memories we have shared and look forward to the ones that are yet to come. 

Perhaps I received this name of mine to rcougnize others who are sitting alone feeling like a stranger, outsider. God give me the daily boldness to reach out and include others who bump into my life. I am not a stranger. I am a part of you and you are a part of me. Perhaps I need to look on the name list and see which one means included and adopt that name as my own. 

In Him,

Joyful

1-10-26