I Want to be IN Cahoots with You so I Don’t Go Insane

 So I guess saying I’m all in has to be clarified. Where the heck am I all in? I think in cahoots seems best since I don’t have to go in alone. After all, I always like to be with someone. It is good i am allowed to take several trip to going insane. That does suggest that I frequently come out of it and that sounds like a good thing, I seem to always return so that may be concerning. What I really like is this play on words. There is a great book about which witch is which. I think it was called The Phantom Tollbooth about the joys of learning and how adults must keep it stimulating. Maybe I should have read it more often since I lived my life in a classroom. 

My greatest joy about being a special ed teacher was I got to do project based learning rather than worksheets. The best year ever was when we did inside out. The idea was to look at many things from the inside out to learn more about them. We took apart balls, tennis, golf, basketball and more to see what was inside and find out why. Then we made stamps with nuts as we learned why some had thicker shells and some crazy wiggles inside. The hint for that is weather. We also took apart electronics to compare and contrast. That got shut down when one of my middle schoolers went to the library to search for how to make a bomb from a microwave. Yes, I had the behavior, autistic and emotional kiddos. The most important inside out was looking at ourselves from the inside and recognizing that we compare our hurts to others outsides that look all perfect and mess free. 

I am so fortunate that I had students and their families for years not semesters. Many are still in my life and for that I am grateful. Although they drove me insane at times I am glad they are not incognito as adults. Sometimes I even get to be in cahoots with my Angelica when we are planning surprises with my Elissa. Now I think I will go in search of my copy of The Phantom Tollbooth and grab a second cup of coffee.

In Him,

Joyful

8-24-26

Compassion is Key, Faith in Heartcrushing Circumstance

That saying of pull yourself up from your bootstraps and get on with it is advice to tackle life on our own. The better advice may be to pause, pray for wisdom to move in the right response to what life is throwing at us. How many times have I rushed in believing I had the right way to handle a situation only to find out that my haste led me to the wrong actions? The older I get the more often I am aware that even when I know I am right about something, I can be wrong. 

This past weekend a family in our town lost their thirteen year old son to a tragic accident. Oh how I grieve for this family and all involved. Even as our hometown comes together to support this family the rumor mill is also sharing facts about what happened that may or may not be correct. I misremembered a street that I lived on for decades. How could my brain have not known the name of this street? But I knew I knew until someone pointed out that I was mistaken. Others are sure they know the circumstances surrounding this loss and sharing it confidently. First, does it matter? A child died. Second, the truth is not always found in the rumors even if you hear it from a reliable source. After all, I shared a fact about a street name that I lived on and I was wrong. Was I a reliable source? Absolutely not. 

What I know is that a family lost their precious son, brother, friend and are grieving. Our part is to give them the space they need to come together and pray for them. Whatever we can do to support others in a time of need is much more important than knowing the details of what happened and why. This hits close to home for me in a couple ways. When Tanner fell off the eighty foot cliff when he was a fifth grader our same community had many stories of what happened and why. Even though I am his mom and stood at the edge of the cliff while a firefighter brought him up on a backboard, I didn’t know what exactly happened. Even as that twelve year old son of mine is close to turning forty this year, I don’t know all the facts about that day. If I pretend to it is for my peace of mind not because I really understand. Bottom line is I don’t need to know but do need to have all the details. Again when we lost Ryan to suicide there were so many stories about the circumstances. People knew that they knew even as we as Ryan’s family can’t possibly understand all that was in his heart at that moment. Having compassion and loving others in difficult times is what our focus should be. 

Faith is the antidote of fear much more than courage. Someone told me once that they could not survive losing a child. I don’t think anyone has the courage to lose a child but our faith gets us through even the moments that are unbearable. I pray for the families involved in this recent loss. I also pray for those who have a need to know the circumstances rather than just embracing those who are hardly able to breathe from the pain. This is not me lecturing others. My first response was to know all the facts and even to share them. That’s how I know I misremembered a street name. This is me reminding myself that faith and courage are what I need to cling to even when my worst fears are realized. No family should lose a child. That is a fact that I know to be true. Please pray for our town and all who are grieving here. 

In Him,

Joyful

8-12-26

 

Captain Ron Knows Me and Loves Me Together or Apart

 Oh how I love this man. He has taken me on life’s adventures for over fifty years. I love his enthusiasm for life and is love for adventure. But mostly I love his love for me. Ronnie B is on a six week sailboat trip with his brother and sister-in-law around the Vancouver Island. I was invited of course and prayed about going with them. Even my sweet grandgirl, Makenzie, prayed for my decision. You see, I struggle with saying yes and worry when my heart is telling me no. But we had been on an rv trip for six weeks and only home for one. I simply was torn with going with the love of my life and being at home for awhile. Ron himself came up with the perfect plan. I will join them for the last week or two in Victoria and sail the San Juan Islands. The best of both choices is that I have had time to rest and just be at the home I love connecting with people I love here in our hometown. Then I can sail through waters I love even though they are too chilly to do much swimming. 

My greatest gift is not the opportunities I have had because of marrying this man almost fifty years ago. That he allows me to say yes and to say no when I need to and knows me well enough to make life fit for both of us. I mean who says no to a sailing trip with incredible views? But Ron recognized my need for home time. I love that about him. We both love doing life together but are also okay when we go off on our own. That makes sharing our separate moments even more precious. 

As you can see from the picture of Captain Ron, the weather and waters in Canadian waters are not the warm water I love to swim in when we go to the Bahamas. But I have a plan for that. I ordered a wetsuit and will hope to get in the water not just on the boat when I join the other Barbers in a few weeks. Ron is loving the trip and I am loving hearing his adventures. I am loving my time at home and love sharing all the stories of life here with my Ronnie B. Felix was here for a couple weeks, Nabin from Nepal is living with us for the summer, and the Margarita Trails lunches have been filled with friends and laughter. 

There are times when I doubt my choice to go or to stay. But this has been perfect and I chose well. Susi is here for the weekend which is a bonus! Girl time, me time, Felix time and just sitting on the patio reading a book in a monsoon thunderstorm have all made it clear that I needed this time at home. I feel so fortunate in my life right now. The people that I share life with make my life rich and I am content with this seventy year old version of me. The hustle and bustle of teaching and raising kids has been replaced with quiet days and also adventure filled ones. I could not ask for a better life or a better man to share it with. Thank you Ron for loving me just as I am and allowing me to be me. 

In Him,

Joyful

7-25-26

Felix Time is the Best of the Best

This kid……Nate and Natalie gifted us with Feli time. He left with us on Father’s Day in our Goldie rv from Washington and here we are almost a month later in New Mexico. Our time together is coming to an end but oh the laughter and joy we have shared.

This picture sums up our six year old grandson’s personality. He may get frustrated or entitled just like each of us but with a bit of time and reflection he is all good. Here he is in the er where he ached all over and had a high fever. Thirty minutes before this picture our little man was miserable. A bit of Tylenol and multiple tests and he let us know that he was all good. So Felix!

I have learned so much from Felix this past month. 

1. Each of us works better when we get enough sleep.                                                                                   2. Boundaries keep us in a good mood better than getting what we want when we want it. Tantrums come when others  bow to our desires rather than when  rules are kept clear.                                                                  3, Trying new things can be hard but with the right reward we can find that new things can be fabulous rather than frightening.                                                                                                                                     4. Learning is exciting and sharing what we are learning is even better. Khan Academy shows me how brilliant little man is and while he reads I learn. He prefers nonfiction so I now know more about alligators and crocodiles, planets, and so much more.                                                                                                    5. When we are secure in our relationships with others, it is not worrisome to be away from them. It may hurt Felix’ parents that he isn’t homesick but the truth is it shows that he is confident in their love. His place with Ronnie B and I is comfortable. That is a tribute to how loved he feels. 

6. Don’t lead with what your goal is. There will be negotiation so inflate and then there is room for negotiation.

7. Laughter is infectious. 

8. Having the confidence to approach others whether at a park or in a grocery store gives us connections to others and makes life more

 

Lastly, it is the best way of life when everything is viewed as over the top wonderful. There have been two people in my life that truly believed that every meal is the most delicious, every gift is the best, and every person is their favorite. Grandma Co Humpton not only said this but felt it with every fiber of her heart. Felix is this way as well. He truly embraces and loves life. There is nothing fake about his joy as he walks through his days. Felix just finds joy in the moment and all it comes with. Well, maybe not taking medicine or getting his toenails cut. 

People like Felix and Co lift others up and remind us to look for the positive. I hope to turn up my enthusiasm for life in my days ahead. After all, our attitude does matter is true. 

 After receiving what I have prayed for I ask for the discipline to maintain it and the wisdom to make it grow. This time with our grandson has been such a gift that we treasure more than his parents could know. Now that we have enjoyed all the adventures and moments it is time to be more intentional with all our grandkids to FaceTime, call and stay connected. Personally, this Noni needs to get a strategy to connect regularly. Who knows, perhaps we will get to build our relationship with others not with a glorious month together but conversations. Sharing life is the answered prayer and we intend to be more intentional about nurturing this gift. 

full.

In Him,

Joyful

7-14-

Hear, Receive, Respond, and Wait the Best Prayer Connections

 

I listened to a Bible teaching this morning on prayer. Megan Fate Marshman had a good prospective that I had not considered. There are four things that happen with our prayers…….God listens, God receives, God responds, and God waits. The first and last can be difficult for us. While God listens and holds onto our prayers, we also listen for Him and need to spend time not only asking but silently being in His presence. As He receives our heart response He allows us time to be still and rest in His comforting presence. Then when we are patient and near to Him the answers will come. Whether they are the ones we wish to receive depends largely on if our requests align with God’s will. The last is the wait. Sometimes prayers are answered immediately but at other times the wait can be years. What we need to know is to have faith that God hears us and wants what is best for us. He uses even the difficult moments to stretch our faith and help us connect with others. There is power in praying alone and with others. 

When Ron and I went through struggles in our marriage, a counselor suggested we separate. We lived in separate homes for years. My prayer and the one I asked others to pray over us was simple. Three words that healed our relationship. Under one roof. Those were hard years. A lot of tears, stress, and being harsh with one another. But the truth is that I cherish that time. It showed us that we belong together. We got back under one roof and a big part of that was beginning a routine of praying together. We would join hands, eyes open and bring the hard conversations to one another with Jesus in the center. It gave us both a safe space to share our hearts that were vulnerable and broken through years of unkindness. I love our life now and wouldn’t change the struggles we went through to get here. 

Prayers are powerful not only in changing our circumstances but mostly in connecting us with the one who is always present in our life. Felix, my six year old grandson, asked me what hell would be like and why we don’t want to go there. My answer is my truth. It is not about fire and brimstone or bashing of teeth. I believe the worst hell is that we are separated from God. His presence and those He places in my life are everything to me. Without Him it is hell. Building the relationship with Him day by day makes it clear just what His presence means in my life. When I don’t make time my life has a bigm gaping hole. 

Let’s all pray for one another not just say we will but share the words with one another right then and  there. God is listening, receiving, responding and waits on us as we wait on Him.

In Him,

Joyful

7-3-26

Caffeine Jitters or Naptime?

 What the heck? How did I not see that and why don’t I even understand what happened? Oh wait! I am just not even making any sense to myself. Do you ever just confuse yourself and not even know what it is about? That is the kind of day I am having. Nothing is wrong. Everything is going just fine. In fact, I am spending time with my grandgirl and I am really enjoying this relaxing day. But there is something unsettled about the day as well. I can’t put my finger on it. A couple days ago, Brittney said she felt anxious and she had to keep reminding herself that she drank full caffeine coffee instead of her usual half caff. The jitters she felt were from the caffeine not anything she was worrying about. But the day got busy and she kept wondering what was causing her to be unsettled. Then she would remember the three cups of coffee without food that affected her whole day not just her morning. This would cause her to take a breath and remember that there was nothing that she was worried about. Well, that is how my day is going. But I always drink my fully loaded caffeine without food so that is not it. 

I am feeling like the other shoe is going to drop. But I haven’t even had one foot hit the floor so this makes no sense. Okay, when I get this way there is a perfectly effective solution. Pray. Step away and spend a little time with Jesus. That will calm me and let me move into a space of enjoying my day rather than wringing my hands over an unknown fear.

 Are there things currently that have me praying for solution? Absolutely. But I have been doing a pretty good job turning my hands up and giving them to God. In fact, my Bible study this morning was about laying down what I am not meant to carry. The line that sticks with me is that just because I am capable doesn’t mean I am called. Like when I try to micromanage other people’s lives rather than trusting them to figure it out. My job is not to play Miss Fixit but to pray that they will work through whatever situation is concerning. So here I sit with this unusual blog that may or may not make any sense. But in writing this, I am already feeling better. Reminding myself that I am not called to carry burdens but to lay them down at Jesus feet has helped immensely. 

I may just end with my prayer that always comforts me because it has all that I need. 

Lord above, comfort me. Give me courage. Help me see. Guide my actions. Guide my words. Let me know my prayers are heard. Amen

Perhaps it is time to take a nap and wake up refreshed with a better sense of well being. Sweet dreams to each of you. Hope you are having a stress free day. If not, treat yourself to a prayer and a nap. 

In Him,

Joyful

6-1-26

Time for Forgiveness and to Get the Back Story before Judging Other’s Words

 

I admit I have never seen The Sound of Music. Why? Because when I was supposed to go with my family as a child, I was being punished and my mom didn’t allow me to go. So I had to stay home and lay in my bottom bunk while they went. I knew that my mom was disappointed in me for my actions. It was probably when I was little.  But I still feel at seventy that I am not deserving of watching this famous film. 

Last night, a lifelong friend who knows this history told me at our brewery when the movie came up in conversation emphatically that I need to watch it. Her exact words were and I quote….Your mom is dead you can watch The Sound of Music. Needless to say, the other people at the table were shocked. That is because Julie and I knew my story but they did not. Out of context that sounds not only bizarre but messed up. 

So I trust my friend that it is time to sit my butt down and not only watch The Sound of Music but enjoy it quilt free. Not only because my mom would approve but because I need to accept her forgiveness and stop punishing myself for something I did when I was a kid. But because I need to forgive myself for my bad choice back then. I shouldn’t have done it but it is over and time to let it go. Thank you Julie for remembering my heartache and for knowing me so well. We didn’t fully explain to the others but enough for they got it and the conversation moved on. 

 The lessons are clear. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and don’t always judge what you hear. You should clarify if something seems off. Isn’t life easier when we are slow to be offended and when we are capable of forgiveness, not just for others but especially for ourselves?  How can we love others as ourselves if we are holding onto grudges over our past? Let it go……..that is Julie’s best advice. She also is aware that I chose not to go to a musical of The Sound of Music with my kids and grandkids in the next couple of weeks and why I am not attending. You see Julie is my friend but also her daughter and my son married and are raising our four grandkiddos. We are both traveling to Washington to attend our shared granddaughter’s high school graduation. Embracing forgiveness for myself would have allowed me to fully participate in all the festivities. Hmmmmm Julie is a wise woman, friend, mother, and grandma. Who knew? Maybe I should have listened years ago.

In Him,

Joyful

5-23-26

Today is a Gift, Enjoy Your Present

Are we there yet? How much farther to go? Are we there yet, that’s what I want to know? Most of us sang this little song on car trips when we got a bit restless. Waiting can be difficult and the excitement of anticipation can wane. But there is a fabulous book The Precious Present by Spencer Johnson that explains that the present itself is the present and there are gifts in the waiting. Whether it is anticipating something life impacting like the birth of a child or a result from a doctor, or a little thing like the last day of school or a Friday for the weekend, we all find ourselves expecting and hoping. 

We give kids five more minutes when an activity is coming to an end and a transition looms. They need that time to adjust to what is next. As adults, we have a broader picture of what is coming with our calendars on the wall, on our phones and even on Alexa. But still we get anxious anticipating what is coming and how it will turn out. Then it is go time and we can take a breath and enjoy or deal with what is. Later, we will reflect on how things turned out. Did we fill our minds with fear unnecessarily or was the result as bad as we worried about? Was the celebration as joyful as we hoped or did it have a few hiccups that will be remembered fondly in the future. Sometimes the almost there is a time to remember past moments that we lived through even when they didn’t turn out like we thought they would. 

I read The Precious Present when Ronnie B and I had just had to give our first son Logan back to his biological mother after loving him as our own for two months. This young mother changed her mind about the adoption. We quickly called our attorney and began pursuing other adoptions. A mom reached out to us from back east and chose us to raise her child. After months of communicating, she changed her mind. Ron even flew back and met her. Then we got word about our son Cameron. We were a bit gun-shy but moved forward. The waiting was hard since his birth was six months after losing Logan. To begin with I just wanted to wait. I wanted to focus on when he would be in my arms and let the summer slip by uneventful. Then I read the book that said that now is a gift and should be enjoyed while anticipating what is next. So I got off the couch and engaged in life. Ron and I had a summer filled with camping, short trips to visit family, and cookouts with friends. September came and we did indeed wrap our son in our arms. All things work out as they were meant to be. Logan is an adult, Cameron is in his forties with four kids of his own, and we pray the other little one grew into a happy, healthy adult. 

The forming of our family through adoption caused a lot of waiting since all our selfless birth moms were pregnant when we met them. We waited for the births, the adoptions to be finalized and spent the rest of our lives connected to the families that adoption tied us to. These families our a part of our family now and they are a big part of our story. 

Even the little events in life have a waiting period. Heck, each of us spends time in waiting rooms of all sorts that are there for the purpose of waiting to be next. This weekend Ron and I take off on a month long road trip to see family celebrate graduations, weddings, and spend time together along the way. I don’t want to get caught up in the calendar and miss the days leading up to each magical event. We have a grandgirl graduating from high school and a grandson graduating from kindergarten and a nephew celebrating his wedding. These will be such fun but so will the hot springs and conversations as we camp our way to the northwest and then meander our way back to Arizona. I look forward to all the events but also know that the time Ron and I spend together is just as precious. We are both turning seventy this year and celebrate our forty-ninth anniversary on June 4th. The life we have shared has not been without heartache but that has been overshadowed by the joy we share being together on this journey. 

Even as I pack and prepare for the trip I am enjoying the wait. We welcomed a student from Nepal to stay with us this summer. As I have done my Bible study and am blogging, he brought his phone over and introduced me to his parents a world away. Then he prepared egg fried rice for lunch. The house smells delicious and I am grateful he is here to feed the cat and water my plants. The trip will be fun but so are the days until then introducing him to neighbors and friends. 

Enjoy right here and know that you are almost there which will be what it will be. Thankfully, we have others and our faith to get through the ups and downs of life.  

Wonderful Moments are Happening

 How glorious to wake up with anticipation of a new day. I have been on a journey of believing the best and just this attitude is creating a peaceful, expectant attitude. Nothing has really changed recently so I am not quite sure what is making me feel so expectant of positives in my life. But it is here and I am wallowing in this hopefulness. The one change I can point to is that my prayers have been more believing in situations that have been prayed for decades without movement. One is for my grown children to choose to be in a relationship with one another. Will this ever be the case? I am not sure but I do know that I have accepted whatever God chooses to do in this circumstance. There are other things in life that remain unresolved but I have somehow finally set them down and found a peace with how things are rather than wringing my hands with how I would prefer them to be. Something wonderful has happened. I am no longer feeling the need to fix everything or have my way in other’s lives. Isn’t that a part of the AA saying………change the things I can and accept the things I cannot change.  Peace comes when we let go and let others choose their own paths. Perhaps this peace I have found is that at seventy I have laid down my micromanaging wand and learned to stay in my own lane more. I am convinced that my children and grandchildren are thrilled with me trusting them with their own choices. Do I still pray for them and support them where I can? Absolutely! But Natalie for one has been trying to get me to stop advising her when she doesn’t ask for decades. Maybe this thick skull is finally getting the memo. 

Today, I expect wonderful things to happen. I look forward to packing out for a trip to the northwest in a couple weeks. Elissa is graduating tomorrow from NNMC with a phlebotomy certificate and starts nursing school in the fall. Clara is coming to spend tonight to ride with us in the morning. Our summer intern arrives today from Nepal. Ronnie B has been getting projects around the house completed with Jon’s help. Then I am also spending time on me. My sister always took the time to do her fingernails and put on lotions and potions whereas my mom and I were never really interested in all the girlie things. Lately, I have stepped up my pampering of me. With the help of Zepbound my weight that has always been a burden is not an issue anymore. Food noise is quieted and I am at the weight that I listed on my driver’s license for the first time in decades. I actually feel pretty. That is something I haven’t really felt in my whole life. Funny that this comes at seventy with all my wrinkles and bright white hair but here it is. Heck, I even wore a dress to Elissa’s graduation party. 

Life is good. Life has moments of fear, doubt, frustration but really isn’t that just a part of life for everyone. There are things I hope to do better. There are habits I want to discard. But in the end, I believe this feeling of euphoria is because I have found a way to have grace for me. Rather than dwelling on all the should have, could have, why didn’t I parts of my life, I am choosing to celebrate where I am right in this moment of time. Ronnie B and I are in good health and looking forward to our rv trip. There are hot springs to visit and lakes to swim in along the way to family. Our grandgirl, Kayla, is graduating from high school and on to Western Washington University. So glad we get to be a part of her celebration. What a joy to put most pity parties behind me and enjoy life as it is. God knows I am living a life I don’t deserve but embrace. Family, friendships and faith are such a big part of my joy. For each of you, I am grateful.

In Him,

Joyful

5-15-26

Mayve is Two, Woohoo!

Our great-grandgirl is two. Sweet Mayve is our granddaughter, Elissa’s youngest. This little one is so independent and sober. She can surely get silly but most of the time is quite serious. I adore how her brother cares for her when he isn’t knocking her down or stealing a toy. He has a tender heart for his sister and she always wants to know where her Bubby is. Kids do so well when they are gifted with a sibling. 

Elissa made MayMay’s birthday such a great Mother’s Day celebration. The zoo with other moms and then a party at a trampoline/arcade/pizza place. It was good to see her interacting with other littles. 

 In this second picture, she was observing what was going on around her as she often does. It reminds me of her Uncle Tanner. He would stay back and watch before jumping into the activity. I love how littles remind us of our own children when they were small. 

I am so fortunate to get to have Mayve, Caleb, and Elissa in our small town so I can be present in their lives. Today we get the opportunity to go to a graduation celebration for Lis. She is rocking it as a mother, student, and especially granddaughter. We are here to support each other and enjoy the moments life slows down enough for us to just be together. She has applied to nursing school and should start in the fall. Please pray with me that everything falls in place for this sweet family. 

In Him,

Joyful

5-13-26

Happy birthday Mayve……Noni adores you and yes, I will get your beefy legs. 

To Have and To Hold, I Want to Live This

 We hear this line to have and to hold in wedding ceremonies but perhaps it should apply to other areas of life as well. Today we seem to be a society of toss it out and replace rather than fix and repair. This simple saying describes my Ronnie B. He would rather repair and hold onto what we have than recycle and get a new anything. 

To have is what we already own or have in our world. I never thought about this line in our vows but the promise is to hold not release or discard. I love that. As many of you know Ronnie B and I were separated for several years. Even in that difficult time in our relationship we continued to bring the family together every evening for dinner. Not knowing how our story would evolve was hard to hold onto hope of a future together. But we never gave up and a little kidney stone brought us back under one roof. I was in agony and went to stay with him for nurturing and nursing. I never left. We began praying together bringing the hard conversations together with Christ in the center. Life has never been better since we still have one another and hold on to our relationship that is half a century in the making. 

Some would say the brokenness was too much to repair but I am forever grateful for that season that showed us just what we have but also what we should hold onto and not throw away. Would it have been easier to just part ways? Absolutely. It took real commitment and getting past hurts to come back together. But I am convinced that our lives would not be the great love story that it is without walking through those hard years. I am forever grateful to my Young Life girls and there three word prayer for us……under one roof. When we got back into one home those girls believed as do I that their prayers were answered. Susi even stitched it on the quilt she made and repaired for us. 

I hope to embrace the to have and to hold in my life. The desire to get something shiny and new only to discard what I already have is tempting. But what a gift to have an old sweater or that comfy couch that used to be my mom’s. Yesterday, I found out that the insurance company didn’t total my car from when I hit a deer this week. My Murano was my dream car but I had been researching other vehicles just in case. I didn’t find anything I would love as much. So I was thrilled when they said they would repair my Deville, yes that is her name. I have her and now I get to hold onto her a bit longer. Last night, the power went out and this morning our microwave wouldn’t worked. I was bummed I couldn’t reheat my coffee. I love this microwave and worried it was toast. But Ron unplugged it for a bit and it works just fine. I get to hold onto it for hopefully many years to come. 

To have and to hold not to toss and replace is the way to live life. It never really hit me that this little phrase in a commitment ceremony was to cling to what we have. I love that. I love my Ronnie B and the life we share because this part of our story kept us from moving forward without one another. Our amazing love story is not all romance and roses but that is what makes it so precious. I plan on holding onto my man for as long as God keeps us both this side of heaven and then reunites us there. 

In Him,

Joyful

5-9-26

Deer, Deer Everywhere from My Backporch to the Front of My Car

The deer in our town are everywhere. Here is one eating apples on my backporch. This is early morning taken out my kitchen door. They are not afraid of us and seem to just live among us. It is great to see these magnificent creatures until they eat our flowers and destroy our trees. They also bring the mountain lions into our neighborhoods.I love seeing the deer but do get annoyed when they just stand and look at me in the middle of the road. I just have to sit and wait for them to move along at their leisure.

Recently, I have been driving past our golf course at 5:30 in the morning. It is still dark as the sun is just coming up. I have been heading over to get my great grandkids off to school since Elissa needs to be at clinicals by 6:00 for phlebotomy. There are dozens of deer roaming every morning. They bolt across the street and a couple of friends have even had them run into the side of their cars. I won’t even drive my Miata since I am terrified of hitting a deer or being hit by one. Well, a couple days ago my luck ran out. One ran so fast across the road I barely had time to brake. It was not enough to keep me from hitting the poor doe. She got up instantly and ran off seemingly unharmed. I was okay but my car has deer fur and dents that may cause them to total it.  The damage doesn’t look that bad but being an older car it may not be worth the cost to repair. I thought of Ryan when I saw the deer fur/hair. He would have gathered it to tie flies for fishing. That made me smile in a stressful situation. 

I don’t know if I will get to continue driving my perfect car for me. But I do know that I am grateful the deer seemed okay and that nobody got hurt. Even when we are alert to a possibility it doesn’t mean we can prevent it. This is true not only with deer crossings but other situations in life. What I do know is that when bumps or deer in the road happen, God is there to walk beside me and carry me through. It will be an adventure to deal with the insurance company and determine if I continue driving the car I longed for or if I find a new ride that will keep me safe on my adventures. I’m so glad I was smart enough to not drive my Miata/Fancypants early in the morning. This could be a much different post if I hit the deer in her. Grateful~blessed~feeling fortunate today and always. 

In Him,

Joyful

5-7-26

 

70 will Surely be the Best Decade Yet!

 Apparently, I am no longer in my 60s. I love that my grandgirl decided to celebrate me with this gathering. This seventy decade promises to be the best one yet. Not that I didn’t enjoy each decade along the path to this one. They all had their own joys and heartaches but ultimately led me to who I am today and the community I get to enjoy. 

Before this birthday,  believed that 40 was the best and it was. All my kids still lived at home under one roof. I knew that by 50 they would be out finding their own path so I relished our time as a family of six. 

Those were the good old days and here I am heading into my older days as a retired Noni to grands and great grands.What a gift to have Ronnie B, the love of my life, beside me to enjoy a beer at our hometown pub, trips overseas and in our Chinook casita on wheels, and all the family and friends that make up our community along the way. 

A couple days ago I was treated to a massage. It was incredibly relaxing as well as eye opening. Here I am at 70 and I have no chronic pain, no incontinence (tmi), and a health that I doubted only a few years ago when I was tethered to oxygen. Well, the oxygen is just at night now and I have joined a gym and walking with Ronnie B once again. That season of long covid taught me that the world won’t fall apart if I slow down and don’t micromanage every little thing. 

There is more time for Bible studies, writing and hopefully podcasting at some point. I love the life I live now and am so grateful for all the life that has come before to get me to this moment. The heartbreak of losing our son and too many loved ones have had silver linings that we never expected. Losing Ryan gave Ron and me the opportunity to walk beside other families through loss. It provided me with a boldness to share my faith through the journey of losing Ry with the book of blog entries that catalog how Christ stayed close through the decade after. Easter Sunday, tomorrow, marks sixteen years since we lost our son. The lessons we learned and the lives our story has touched could never bring Ryan back into our arms but we know that it matters that we shared our grief and faith with others. So I want to share a few lyrics from a song that is my truth about what the future holds for each of us when we are finished having earthly birthdays. 

This is our last goodbye. 

We won’t have to say it again.

The next time we meet in heaven we will be.

This is our last goodbye. 

Last Goodbye Spotify

Until then, I look forward to life in my seventies and hope I am still sharing my stories at eighty and beyond. Today will be a glorious day of good food, friendships, and a whole lot of laughter. I guess it is time to jump in the shower and get ready for the decorating crew to arrive. I will post pictures in case you aren’t here in person. Again, thank you for reading my heart, my faith and my story.

In Him,

Joyful

4-4-1956 oops! 2026

Ronnie B and Me Springtime!

I just love that spring is popping up everywhere. The colors and smells of this season just brings joy to my heart. Along with the new blooms comes the tasks that bring me outside to bask in the warmth and sunshine. It is pleasant to be clearing out the old growth getting ready for the new. Ronnie B and I planted jasmine, forsythias, and lilacs last weekend. We power sprayed the porch to rid it of cobwebs and started planning for the flowerbeds that will add color to our summer. What a gift that we are healthy enough to be enjoying life as we get ready to enter our 70s. I truly believe this is going to be the best decade ever!

 

My Two Pats are Together Enjoying a Heavenly Reunion

 My two Pats………Oh how I envy you spending time together in heaven. There was a bond there that I got to enjoy. You two were my yes gals and prompted me to say yes rather than no to the joyful life experiences. 

My mom never said no but yes let’s do that. When I called her up in Arizona and told her she should pick up Elissa and drive to New Mexico so we could take Natalie to Tennessee, she said okay I am already packing. That resulted in a two week adventure on roads we would never have traveled if not for Mom’s yes. We taught Elissa to swim in the hotel pools and got Natalie to Dollywood for her summer mission. As I get older, I need to remember to consider the yes and not knee jerk my response of a no. 

Sunday the 22nd of March, Pat had a wonderful day with her daughter’s family. It was a day of connecting, laughter and great food. Then on the way home she had a stroke and got to meet her Jesus face to face. What a way to travel to heaven. No long illnesses just here enjoying life and then in His presence reuniting with all those who are already there to greet her. I am heartbroken for myself that Pat is no longer here. She is one of my first calls for prayers or to share the joys of life. Even now I wish I could call her to tell her how much I am going to miss her constant presence in my life.

 Pat was the heart that touched all my kids from the time they were young. A couple years ago, Natalie stayed at Pat’s while she went to school in Albuquerque. Her home was always a refuge and open to all who needed a place to stay. I could just go and crawl into my bed at her home without having to explain that I couldn’t speak but needed to be in her presence. Pat never demanded. She just loved and was available. When Ryan died, I put her in charge of making sure I went to the bathroom. That sounds strange but she took her job seriously. On one occasion as I was dashing off to check off a task, she called me into the hallway. My first thought was what now! Then she hugged me and told me to go potty before doing the next thing. I love her for that. I love her for loving me and my kids. I love her for the quilts she lovingly created that keep me toasty warm and hugged by her even now. I love her for the laughter and the figuring out problems together, for the prayers, for the bologna, cheese, and potato chip sandwiches, for the rest and comfort. I love her. 

I am a bit jealous of her trip to heaven so flawlessly. If I could sign up for my exit plan, I would copy Pat’s. She touched so many with her lovely quilts and open heart. I hope to be more like her when I turn seventy in a couple weeks. She had seventy years here and used them well to love others and share Jesus’ love with them. Her faith was clear in the way she lived and the way she loved. Good job my friend, my sister, you finished well. I adore you. Give Mom and Ryan a hug from me.

In Him,

Joyful

3-24-26

Mom’s Day~Friday the 13th

My mom loved Friday the 13th. She thought it was a lucky day made just for her. Lottery ticket purchased check. She looked forward to these special Fridays almost as much as her birthday which was on the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. That also made mom feel extra special. I adore how my mom could celebrate what may likely cause other people pause. We never had a black cat but it would have been her choice if she ever actually owned a cat. 

With the approach of spring, I am feeling nostalgic and remembering all the joys that were my mom. Yesterday, my great grandson got down her bells from a shadow box that she loved. He paused at a picture of her, turned to me, and stated confidently……..this is your mom, Noni. Somehow I have shared my mom with this thoughtful three year old that I cherish. Then the bell concert began. Mom collected bells and would have loved to join in with her great, great grandkids. 

In a couple of weeks, I turn seventy and begin another decade of life. My mom was someone who embraced life through all its seasons. Even in her eighties mom was full of love and adventure. She was always up for a road trip with Elissa and me. It was obvious that our Siri gps was an actual person. That is why she worried that the voice she heard belonged to someone who never had time off. Naturally, I began changing the voice on my phone so mom didn’t need to be concerned about the lack of days off that Siri got. She also loved where she lived which was also obvious on our road trips. Whether we were driving through downtown San Francisco or out in farm country mom let us know she would not want to live there. San Fransisco had too many people and too much traffic while the farmlands were filled with women who had to work way too hard at life. It got to be so prevalent that Elissa began recording each time mom stated she wouldn’t want to live somewhere. Her young girl travel journal was filled with checkmarks of her Grandma Pat wanting to live right at home not in one of the many places we passed through. 

I miss my mom this week as our Aunt Helen went to be with her heavenly family. It is easy to see her kids knowing that the days forward will be filled with memories of the woman they adore. 

I look forward to my next chapter of life with family and friends and treasure the life lived with those kicking up their heels in heaven with my mom and Ryan. Even that chapter holds promise. Until then our adventures make me smile Mom. 

In Hum, 

Joyful

3-13-26

 

Passport Office took my Sparkle when They Altered My Image

 This was kind of creepy. It was time to renew my passport and so Ronnie B took the picture of me smiling. Some on Facebook thought the government wouldn’t accept it with the smile. I read the emails again and again and they did indeed accept the photo I submitted. Imagine my shock when my passport arrived a week latter minus my earrings, smile and other small changes. This is disturbing. That they would alter my image rather than declining it and asking me to send an appropriate photo. It doesn’t feel like me on my own passport that I will carry for a decade. I am not against AI but was disturbed that they used it for my identification. 

New technology has never scared me. In fact, I have mostly embraced it to improve life as I know it. Somehow I have to get past the eerie feeling of seeing my altered self, In October, we travel to Egypt and Kenya. Let me focus on the discoveries of this incredible trip rather than the haunting eyes staring back at me on my passport. 

What are your thoughts on AI? Are you curious to see how it will improve your life or cautious of how it will overtake tasks we typically do ourselves? I have mixed feelings but understand that it is now a part of our world. It is better to see how we can use this tool that is now here to stay. But please know that I would have gladly sent another picture through technology to get a passport with a real image of me. There corrections left me with haunting eyes that I am glad I don’t wear in my everyday life. It feels like they took the life and sparkle out of my eyes and my face shifted accordingly. 

In Him,

Joyful

2-24-26

Take a Breath and get some Rest

Sunday is the day of rest. Even God rested on the seventh day in Genesis. It is necessary for us to refuel, take a pause, and simply be. Ronnie B and I just got home from a ten day trip in our rv. It is comforting to be home and to sleep in our own bed. Yesterday, we unpacked, did laundry, and even had a precious visit from a friend who is family. Then I took the opportunity to catch up with phone calls to people I hadn’t spoken to on our journey. So today may be a pajama day at the Barber’s house. I need to pay a view bills, go through the mail, and do quiet tasks that allow me to rest while being productive.

It may also be a nap day since I have been up since before four am. My home internal clock says get up for Bible study. So off I go to take my first nap of the day at 10am. See you on the other side.

In Him,

Joyful

2-22-26

Love Until They Ask Why

 Love them until they ask why. That is how you share Jesus love and bring them home to Him. Each of us has the task of loving others. It is not for those in ministry to share Christ’s love but all of us. Whether we are helping someone pick up a dropped roll of paperwork’s in a grocery store or giving a person a ride to a dental appointment, small acts of giving matters. In the past, people wore WWJD wrist bands as a reminder to live like Jesus lived. What would Jesus do? He would love, accept and encourage others. He walked through life never in too much of a hurry to pause and connect with someone along His way. 

A towering oak tree starts out as a tiny acorn. How could this seemingly insignificant seed grow into such a powerful giant? Sharing God’s love seems like an overwhelming challenge the first time. But knowing that others may be living without the embrace of the one who keeps us close through all the moments of our lives makes the fear easier to overcome. It is said that the first is always the most difficult. Whether it is a bad choice or a right one. With each exposure it gets more comfortable. But the truth is that pounding someone else with our words will not give them a true picture of His love. Living your life serving others and being available will. That is after all what Jesus did here on eating and now how He is always available while in heaven. forest.  

 You know you are living your calling of knowing Him and making Him known when others wonder why you are treating them with so much kindness and acceptance. This world is often too quick to judge and Comanche when anyone is not living up to our standards or has beliefs that don’t line up with ours. Wouldn’t it be less of an example if Jesus had come to be served and hung out with those who already believed while He walked among us? So let’s make it our goal to lean into loving to the point that others scratch their heads and ponder……..Why would they be willing to do that for me. Lead with love one moment at a time. What a gift to watch our faith and His love pour onto others through us. While we grow from that tiny acorn into a giant oak tree that can stand up to any of life’s storms. Stretching our branches to others growing near us turns us from a sole giant to an impressive forest. forest.  

In Him, 

Joyful

2-21-26

Spend Time with Jesus, Others, and Yourself it will Fill You

I am doing better at getting my time in the mornings. Even on my last trip, I made time each day. Today, Ronnie B and I take off to Arizona to visit with as much family as possible for the next ten days. But we will be sleeping in our rv, Goldie, so I can take my time before we begin chatting with others. 

This sweet heart message is so true. Building a relationship takes time. Time spent with God keeps Him close and your relationship alive. He is always just a whisper away. 

This trip is to connect with family that we have not seen in far too long. I am especially excited to see some of my dad’s family. Hopefully, my grandgirl, Ami, and I will get to go for a pedicure while we are in Flagstaff. Such fun to see so many in our traveling casita on wheels. We are all packed and after Ron’s work meeting we will be off. I even packed food so we won’t have to just mooch off others but bring in some to contribute. Mike and Deb will host us in Flagstaff, then we will be at Allen’s, then Jimmy and Shawna’s. From there we will play it by ear. It is fun to just park out front with our own bed. This time of year it will be pleasant in Phoenix so we won’t die of the heat. 

Thank you all for your listening. Spend time with Jesus. You will be thankful for it. How? Read your Bible, listen to YouTube podcasts, meet with others for a conversation and prayer, or simply pray and listen to His nudges in your life. It can be as quick as a three word prayer or as deep as a lunch to connect and share faith. My mornings start with Bible study, youtube pastors and speakers, and then sharing my heart with you. Thank you for being a part of my faith walk and my routine. I appreciate each of you who share my heart on this Blog. 

In Him,

Joyful

2-10-26