Brave I Hope

Bravery-cowardice which will it be? Tomorrow I am going back to work to teach my kiddos and see my Mountain family. 2 weeks and 2 days after I lost my son by his own hand, through his own pain. I have never been more afraid. This is not a new job. These are people who love me. What am I so afraid of? Me...who am I now? How do I be the 1 whose son no longer lives among us?

I will get through. I will be brave. Ron has confidence in me. I always tell my kids to be brave and just put 1 foot in front of the other. Ok, I will try.

There is a staff breakfast at 7:30 before the kids come, so I can see everyone at once. Get it over with. Enjoy the warmth they will give. Then Tammy will be there to get me through the kids. If I need to step out or run for home she will cover for me like she always does.

So I can do this. I am not a coward. I hope.

In Him,

Joyfully lacking confidence
4-20-2010