His Loss Could Save Lives

Barb,
I wanted to share this earlier, but couldn't get the words written down:

Angels lined the front of the sancturary as Ryan's life was honored Saturday. Each held a blue flag. (Blue represents healing and revelation/understanding.) A magnificent white horse with a rider walked down the isle, turned and faced the entrance of the room. A stream of light began to pour into the church. From it, came horse after horse after horse...many...not one had a rider, but each had a name written across their side. As they ran down the center of the church, across the top of them were written the words, "Tell my story." It was Ryan. It was the same as if he had spoken the words. I'm not sure that he didn't because they were so alive in my heart. Without a doubt, I knew that these horses represented the lives that would be saved and enter the Kingdom of God as Ryan's story was told.

A friend sent this to me yesterday. It was so encouraging to read this. And it definitely reflects how I feel about my son's death. Although, I would love to ground him or put him in a time out for what he has done, I believe that his death will save others from the same pain. His struggles with drug and alcohol abuse will hopefully snap some addicts out of the pain they are living.

1 of my high schoolers, who has felt suicidal in the past, texted me and said Ryan saved my life. She will still need us to walk beside her and let her know how much she is valued. But she sounded hopeful for the first time in a long time.

The Bible says be thankful in all things. I am thankful for Ryan in my life. I am thankful for his story being heard by those who need to hear it. Someday, I will be strong enough to be thankful for his death, but not today. Today I am too sad and miss my sweet son too much.

In Him,

Joyful
4-16-2010