Kids will behave if they can. So let's stop bribing them and actually teach them the skills they need to cope in their world. When babies are born parents say they are good if they are not fussy and bad if they are fussy. Hello! Babies are fussy if they are uncomfortable not because they are good or bad. The same is true with kids. Kids misbehave or act out when they are uncomfortable in their environment or circumstances. Whether their discomfort comes from social situations or tactile annoyances or a dozen other offending, irritating stimuli, kids act out when they are provoked.
My mistake with my own kids as well as my students over my lifetime has been to believe that I could reward or punish those children in my care into compliance. Kids are humans who get over stimulated and misbehave. Heck, adults are humans who get over stimulated and can get in the car and get out of there when they need to bolt. Kids don't have the power or control to manage their world by retreating, so they respond anyway they can to eliminate the negative input.
We adults need to get better at interpreting kids behavior and teach them appropriate strategies to deal with life situations. There are so many skills we pass on to our kids from making jump shots to diagraming sentences but we don't often discuss what are appropriate ways to behave when they are overwhelmed. Time to get on that mom and dad and Mrs. Barber.
Ross Greene has several books that explain strategies on teaching kids these skills because he believes,"Kids behave if they can not kids behave if they want to." Now, maybe a bit late, I believe he is absolutely right.
In Him,
Joyfully figuring it out
9-15-2010
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
8 hours ago
Great points.
ReplyDeleteEcclesiastes 12: 10 {Living Translation} For the Preacher was not only a wise man, but a good teacher; he not only taught what he knew to the people, but taught them in an interesting manner.
I suppose that it matters little the value of what is being taught if a package cannot be formulated that is capable of grasping the attention of those for whom the lesson is intended.
Often, I have summed up this concept to new volunteers in children's ministry with this memorable phrase: 'If you don't put on a program for them, they'll put on a program for you.' 'And you won't like their program!'