Honestly Needing To Say 'No'

Taking a tip from my friend the turtle and pulling my head inside my shell. It is the season to be social, celebrate life, family and faith. Though I recognize all the amazing blessings and people in my life, I am back at a place where I fear social gatherings or even a trip to my local grocers. I am praying for understanding from those who care about me as I try so hard to walk honestly through the pain of losing my precious son.

Someone actually seemed confused by my tears and pointed out that this was not the first time Ry had not been home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. My mouth dropped as I realized that explaining the difference this year was pointless.

A private pity party is definitely not what I want and certainly not what I need. I am praying for guidance as I navigate this tunnel I am journeying through. So although I blogged about saying 'yes' to life, for now I am trying to honestly and perhaps selfishly, listening to what I need to get through this. As of today, I am just exhausted as my tear ducts work overtime. JOY Jesus, Others, then Yourself sometimes means taking care of yourself. Today I am taking care of me.

In Him,
Joyful
12-3-2010