Denver, Wednesday I am going to Denver for a reading conference. Thankfully, my mom is coming with me. We will get to stay in a fancy Marriott and I will learn a lot about eyes and brain function which I am so enthralled with. The only problem is, I will be in Denver. Only a few miles from where my son took his life. Will I be able to breath there? Will I need to drive past his apartment? Will I be able to even function enough to go to this conference?
God threw down a challenge. Not only do I need to go to this conference but I am introducing one of the speakers so I really can't bail on attending the sessions. No pulling the covers over my head and staying in bed where it is safe.
We will have dinner with Lisa on Thursday night and that will be hard too. I love her and want to see her so badly. But remember, she is the amazing person who went to the crematory and sat there while Ryan was cremated so he wouldn't be alone. Lisa looked at the horrific pictures of Ryan and described them to Ron so he wouldn't have to go see for himself what Ry looked like. What an amazingly brave lady she is. I can't think of anyone in our lives who have sacrificed more for us than she did. Losing her husband and 5 year old son in 2 separate but equally tragic accidents makes her no stranger to pain and loss. Yet there she was for us at our darkest hour. Enduring visions of horror to protect us the best way she knew how. Then she brought Ry's ashes back to us and lovingly placed them in my arms.
Yep, I am going to Denver and it will be hard but I will get through. My mom will be there with me to cry together and hug each other. God will give me what I need to walk away from this conference a step closer to the other end of this tunnel. I have no doubt that I will also be able to get wonderful knowledge to bring back to my classroom. Being a teacher who can reach my students in the most productive ways will also be a blessing.
I am asking for your prayers this week as I feel I am stepping onto a battlefield of sorts but I won't be alone.
In Him,
Joyful
1-30-2010
WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGE #578
5 days ago
you can do it i know you can you are a very strong woman. god will be there with you the whole trip and Ryan will be watching over you to. be sure to have a safe trip
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