Sleepless Nights Are Not Just For Mother's Of Newborns

Thoughtlessness not tragedy. That is every mother's hope in the middle of the night when they haven't received a call from their kids to know that they are alright. Last night was a long night. When a teen or adult child doesn't check in and let their parent know that they are staying out all night it unleashes  the emotional demons in our minds.

We start out angry that our child didn't consider us enough to pick up the phone to call or to text a simple, 'I'm okay, see you in the morning.' Then our thoughts move to panic as we imagine all sorts of tragedies that could have happened to this precious child we love. Quickly, we retract all the ugly thoughts of wringing their necks for making us worry as our worry ramps up. Our only hope is that they are safe somewhere, anywhere and not hurt or suffering.  Later, as the sleepless night drags on we return again and again to what we will do when we finally find out they are okay. We plan to hug them tightly before smacking them up beside the head and warning them to never worry us like that again.

I believe that my kids don't consciously decide when they are out with friends to ignore the frantic texts from home or to worry the bejeebers out of their parents. Just like when they were little and ran across our freshly mopped floors with mud on their little shoes, they just didn't  think. Getting caught up in their own fun and adventures, they just don't even consider that we are worrying at home. They are fine and not in danger so why would we have anything to fret about?  Knowing that their lack of response is not some cruel plan to disrupt our  sleep doesn't help a parent in the exhaustingly, long hours of the night.

Cell phones give us a better electronic leash on our kids than our own parents had. Sometimes it is comforting to know that they can call us if they need us. But it always seems those times when we are out of our mind with real or imagined thoughts of danger, their cells are dead battery or just turned off. The reality once again is that our anger, threats, worries won't keep them safe or make them call. The mixed emotions of not knowing where are kids are cycle through until we hear from them.

Prayer helps but turning your hands up and entrusting them to God is difficult. We believe from the time they are laid in our arms as infants that our job is to keep them safe. So we call and text them pleas to call, threats if they don't, love and prayers and when that doesn't work we call every friend whose cell number we have trying to find them.

Then the call comes, 'Mom, I told you I would be at so and so's house, don't you remember? My phone was dead. I am fine.' We don't actually wring their neck, but say one last prayer of thanks that they are okay. A thought flickers across our minds, that someday they will understand when they are sitting by the phone or whatever electronic leash is available waiting to hear if their own kids are safe.

In Him,
Joyful
1-30-2011

Pray for me as I sit here with my pot of coffee still waiting for that call.