Love Them And Like Them

Loving our adult children despite their behavior is natural, liking them when they misbehave is more challenging. The little decisions we disagree with are no big deal, but when their actions may have life changing consequences it is hard to keep quiet.

I am sure our parents had the same concerns about some of our decisions when we were in our early 20s. Is it too late to apologize? My parents stood by while Ron and I went through 7 adoptions in 5 years, 3 of which didn't work out. Even with our hearts broken with the failures we were determined to form our family and stayed focused on the goal. While we were striving toward a family our parents were quietly praying that our hearts and theirs would not be broken one more time.

It must have been difficult for them to stay supportive with our choices. I know it is difficult for us with some of the choices our kids make. Naturally we want to protect our kids from the disappointments of life. But loving them enough to like them even when you think they are screwing up is part of being a parent. Early adulthood is when our opinion matters, but they have the ultimate veto power. And that is exactly the way it should be.

Parents have years to nurture and guide children, then it is time to trust that they can fly on their own. We will always be right here to catch them and hold them if something doesn't work out. Our role has changed but not disappeared. Realizing that though we disagree with some of their choices that doesn't mean that we quit liking them. The loving them was never in question!

In Him,
Joyful
2-27-2011

SS