Saturday, November 2, 2013

Too Grumpy To Pray

My friend told me it has been fear I am feeling not anger. But I have been lashing out, trying to pick fights with everyone. She also asked if I was getting on  my knees and letting God be my stretcher. The answer was a resounding 'NO'. I know He is who I need. He is who can get us out of this mess. Then why am I acting like a stubborn 2 year old and stomping through my days instead of trusting Him?

I have no answers. I am terrified. There has been so much loss in my life and I just can't walk through another. Time to have faith and let God walk beside me. But for today I am crawling in my bed with a box of tissues and feeling sorry for myself.

One of my grumps has been that through this the people I thought would reach out to me have been oddly silent. So my pity party continues alone. Perhaps they are giving me space when what I need is there comfort. This sounds like I am unfairly judging but I warned you I am at my grumpiest.

Praying for peace and a release of my hurt and anger soon.

In Him,

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