Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Bossing or Praying.......Hmmmmmmm

Too often, I try to use my micromanaging to run other people's lives. What I am really saying is, I know more than you do about how to live your life. That is a bit, okay extremely, ridiculous. The reality is by trying to control others I am not trusting them. It is difficult for me to know what is best for my own life without trying to manage others.

This is especially true of my kid's lives. When they were little, I thought I made all the decisions about when they ate and when they slept, but did I. The moment they were born their own instincts told them how to communicate what they needed. It wasn't me who knew best even then. Before they had words, their 'hard to ignore' cries told me when they needed something. 

Ron and I are in the phase of life where our moms are in their 80s and 90s. It is so hard to know when to gently nudge them and when to take action for their safety and happiness. We don't want to look back with regrets if something happens that we could have prevented. However, they are both adults and don't need us micromanaging their every move. My friend pointed out that I was pushing my mom to pack for our recent trip the way I believed was best by making a list. It was best! But the reality was that it didn't matter if she forgot something or brought too much, because she didn't stick to a list. By the way, I had a list and forgot my toothbrush anyway. Hmmmm.

My job is to be here to support others, even my kids, not to run their lives. This is so hard for those of us who know what is best for everyone. ;-)  If only I could be paid for this skill and everyone had to follow my wisdom. There's a frightening thought! What would life look like if others really did listen to me for direction of their lives? Boy could I screw things up. I have certainly not made all the right moves in my own life.

 The best we can do is pray. His wisdom far exceeds mine. So today, I pray for each of us to allow and trust others with the decisions and direction in their lives. I need to rest in the fact that God sees the big picture and will walk beside each of us even when we take a misstep. Somedays I get this right but mostly I stubbornly want my will. Guess I need to keep praying for myself as well as those I adore.

In Him,


  1. I agree with you, and found that having children taught me that I can not control anyone else. I can make decisions for me, only for me. This is accepting reality. Every day, like you, I turn to Jesus for guidance and protection for me and my loved ones. As we sang in church Sunday "I am running to Your arms."