A journey to our FINAL tax day!
Of course we will be paying taxes in the future but today was the day we FINALLY finished years of unfiled taxes. Shocking, I know. The truth is after our son took his life over 4 years ago, we just couldn't face the tax stuff. There were receipts for cremation, the suits and dresses we bought to wear to his funeral, money we had sent to help him out and checks for his birthday gifts.
It seemed this big pile of papers held a journey of love, family, sorrow and heartache. Everything was either from before Ry died or after. Even the IPad we stood in line for 2 days before he died was days later used by his brother to write a eulogy. Birthday gifts and Easter baskets were purchased just before our lives forever changed.
So we let the receipt pile that we couldn't face grow. Last year, an incredible friend hugged us through 3 years of long over due taxes. Each of us cried, prayed and hugged our way through the painful mess that we had to face. This year we got the last 2 years completed. Today for the first time since filing 2008 taxes we are current on our taxes. God's smile on us is that we even got a sizable refund as we e-filed for the very first time. (Can't e-file overdue taxes)
I feel such relief that this task is behind us. At the same time it makes me realize how God has walked beside us through the waves of grief these past few years. Life will forever be divided between when Ry was here with us and when he left us that day after Easter four years ago.
Our future receipts will include a mixture of family trips, grandkid's birthday gifts and the occasional tough purchase. Life is full of wonderful memories and hard to face goodbyes that are bound to come. For today, we will enjoy with a much awaited celebratory toast to Ryan. The gifts he continues to give us far outweigh the expense of our grief over losing him too soon.