Thursday, December 10, 2015

Car War Stories, Ryan Wins The Prize

I was just trying to remember the cars our kids went through while they were still at home with us. It is a pretty impressive list and has a few great stories of dents and disasters. Ryan for sure takes the prize for the most outrageous but totally explainable vehicle fail.

Let's see. Cam got his first car to go to the prom his sophomore year. It was a little, red convertible that I wanted desperately to steal. Then he got a jeep with a lift that made it require a ladder or pole vault pole to get into. He got married at 19 years old so I think those two were his only 'while living at home' cars.

Ryan is our second oldest but like I said, he takes the prize. So I will leave him until last.

Tanner always wanted sleek, sporty low to the ground cars. This never made since to me since he was our TALL son. He went through a white one, a red one, and then left that style behind for a Geo Tracker. He never paid more than $500. for his cars which was fortunate since he was so good at navigating them into fences, light poles, and other people's cars. When he was in high school, the school nurse called me and told me she had Tanner in her office. She informed me that he had been in a motorcycle accident at lunch. I informed her that Tanner did not own a motorcycle. She informed me that he had borrowed one. Even when it wasn't his ride Tanner could find a way to get into a smash up and provide me with more grey hair. Tanner bought a little truck that you had to start with a screwdriver. I used it for a Walmart trip to Espanola since he had my van one day. Someone else used the screwdriver and when Natalie and I came out we couldn't find the truck. It wasn't that we forgot where we parked. It was gone. Then my mom gave T a  newer truck to drive while he was living with her. Who knew that the hoses on the front of a county water truck didn't provide enough bounce when you rammed it with your truck. Tanner found out! Fortunately, Tanner was good at banging up vehicles without banging up himself too bad. The high school nurse did suggest that we spend some time at the doctors picking the gravel out of his road rash that was from his ankle to his shoulder. Put that too would heal.

Natalie being our only daughter had only a few car stories. Her first car was a Honda Civic. Besides being like a dumping ground for make-up, clothes, and empty food containers it was going pretty well. It did get stolen while she was down at UNM in Albuquerque. Four months later we got a call from the ABQ police telling us to move her car or they would tow it. What! Yep, it was parked in a private spot and had a pile of angry 'move your damn car' notes on the windshield. It was clear from the filthy, mismatched couch cushions that it had been home to some folks for awhile. Surprisingly, they just moved Natalie's pile of mess over and didn't tidy up. I was in ABQ so I got to the car first. Natalie told me to be sure to lock it after I looked around. She always locked her car. When the police officer arrived he was surprised the car was locked. So embarrassing to admit I personally locked the car and now didn't have a key. I know I probably should have thought that one through better but Natalie told me to lock the car. When Ron and Natalie arrived we unlocked the car, filed a police report and took the car to a dumpster followed by a detail car wash. The last Natalie car story was when she borrowed Ron's Blazer and stumped it up in the mountains accidentally off-roading coming back from a party. Before we could jack the car up to get it off the stump we had to spend a few hours as a family wandering around the woods to actually find the car. Not as much fun as searching for the perfect Christmas tree.

Ryan went through the most vehicles. He had a truck, used my old van, and a few others that I don't quite remember. Ryan wins the prize not for the amount of vehicles but for actually losing one. He was living with my mom and we bought him a little, white pickup for five hundred dollars. It was clearly spray painted white and not in great running order. Some of you know that Ryan never met a stranger and considered everyone his close friend. So he met this guy and took him down to his parents house in Phoenix. While they were there they couldn't start the truck. So he left it and got a ride home. This new found friend of his never came back to Camp Verde, Ry didn't know his last name, and couldn't remember where the guys parents lived. Raising our four kids, Ron and I were not easily shocked. But he lost a truck? Actually lost a vehicle? There must be a way to find it. Surely, the parents would get sick of having this POS at their place and use the registration to get in touch with us. Nope! We still don't know what happened to that truck. The silver lining is that no one ever sued us for an accident or crime that our truck was involved in. Gotta look for those silver linings.

This has been quite the lengthy telling of Barber children vehicle adventures but I needed to get it down for posterity sake. Thanks for enduring to the end. Wish there was a prize I could offer you. Guess the reward is that you may appreciate your own kids car stories more. After all, they say perception is the function of contrast.

In Him,

1 comment:

  1. Now those are some wild vehicle stories. Lost a truck? I had not heard of stumped up before your post, but now I know what that is.