Thursday, October 13, 2016

Lean In, Don't Step Away

I struggle with an orphan spirit and have for most of my life. This means that I continuously question whether people in my life love me. It is a hard thing to be jealous and wonder if you measure up. I find myself questioning when I haven't heard from a friend if they are angry with me. There is a sense of being left out when they spend time with others. This is something that I pray about and wish I could change.

What I realize with my head is that others struggle with this too. Often when people pull away or isolate themselves it is not because of me but because of an ache in their own life. Too often we build walls where embraces should be. In my own life, I know I sit alone when I feel broken rather than surrounding myself with support. When a friend doesn't call or stop by try not to be offended. Try instead reaching out to them. Chances are they need to be around you as much as you need to be around them. Sometimes you need to be persistent. Right now I have someone going through a struggle. I keep calling and texting with no response. What I know is that my touches matter even if she can't respond at the moment.

Like depression, an orphan spirit is not logical. People look at my life and think it is so filled with others. It is! I have Ronnie B. who walks hand in hand with me through life,  a wonderful family and fabulous friends. Feeling alone is not about being alone it is something broken inside. Don't be fooled by others FB pages or their lively conversations. We all struggle with doubts about our value. Some of us more than others. Reach out, step in, throw your arms around those who are pulling away. If it really is that they don't want to be with you rather than self-doubt they will  let you know with a swift kick. But most of the time they need your love and support. I know I do.

In Him,

1 comment:

  1. I agree, if someone you care about seems to be pulling away, reach out to them.