Patience has never been my strength. I want what I want right now not in a few days or a few months. Certainly, waiting years for something to unfold is just plain excruciating. I think the waiting is easier if you know when a thing is going to take place. A wedding has a set date. When you book flights you can anticipate when and where you are traveling. But there are occasions in life that have an uncertain timeline. That is where I find myself right now. Not knowing how long we will be dependent on oxygen to sustain us or when we will get our stamina back is just frustrating. Don’t get me wrong. I am thankful for oxygen so I don’t have to be in the hospital and that I can do ten percent of living life before my bed calls. But I am so wanting to get back to my normal. Then I feel so selfish since I believe this is temporary and there are people like Pat that deal with oxygen and limited breath their whole lives. So I need to temper my impatience with gratitude even when it is difficult.
God has showed me that in this waiting I can choose to throw a pity party or use this time to write content for my podcast. The waiting can be a gift or a curse. It is all up to me to choose. How much better to view this sit on the couch time as a gift to read all the books I haven’t got to reading, and writing. Heck, yesterday I cleared out so many pictures on my phone and even that felt productive. Here I sit praying for patience and believing that I will be more grateful for my active life when I get back to it because of this time of rest.
In Him,
Joyful
5-9-23
Yes, waiting especially for healing and health issues is so difficult. I smile when I think of the prayer "Dear God, please give me patience, right now." I hope you will be not needing that oxygen and weaned off it soon.
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