Yep, I Asked for This~Sortof

 People say you should never pray for patience since God may give you situations for you to practice in. I don’t believe my loving God causes bumps in the road of life just to teach me a lesson. What I do believe is that He uses every circumstance to grow me including my patience. This year I picked the word release as my goal word. While I can turn my hands up, pray, and attempt to lay troubles at His feet, too often I snatch the situation right back. You might say that I get grabby over and over again. Hands turned up trusting Him then quickly I clinch my fists and think I can do a better job of fixing the situation. My head knows that is not true but trusting that my ways are not always the best ways is hard to admit. So I am working on releasing, letting go, trusting, and accepting how life works out. 

I think the hardest letting go for mothers is because I started out this role completely in charge and it is my job to be the protective blanket for my baby. As they grow and begin making their own choices it is my task to let them choose even when it won’t line up with my ideas. Sometimes I had to physically sit on my hands to not do things for them. After all, Mama knows best. Right? But here I am with all my kids in their thirties and eight grandkids and even a great-grandson. And I still struggle with trusting and letting go. Guess I am the stereotypical mother-in-law to even my own kids. That is not what I want. I want to trust them and God to make the choices and stay in my lane which is to pray for them. So I picked the word release for my goal word in 2023. 

Boy has God used this year to teach me to sit down and not do everything for everyone. First, my hand with the life altering essential tremor exhausted me and kept me from a lot of activities. Now, with long Covid and being leashed to oxygen has sidelined me even further. That doesn’t even take into account that by three in the afternoon I am ready to go to bed for the night. It occurs to me that these health issues have given me the opportunities to see my kids and their families do life successfully without me in charge. It has also given me time that I can do my real job at this stage of motherhood which is to pray for my adult children and their families and trust God’s love for them. 

This Mother’s Day will look a bit different than most years. The kids will come over so their kids can play at Non and Papa’s early in the day. Ronnie B will go get food instead of me cooking up a feast. Later, rather than Ron and I taking a long walk, we will sit on the porch swing and be thankful that God trusted us with these incredible humans that have grown our family into such a beautiful gift. 

Happy Mother’s Day to each of you.

In Him,

Joyful

5-14-23