I heard a mother giving her daughter some sound advice yesterday. The girl felt ignored by a friend and was hurt by it. Her mom told her instead of dwelling on how or why the person hurt her feelings, to focus instead on how her actions may affect people in her life. That simple yet insightful direction has had me reflecting differently on some situations in my life.
There are those in my family who have little time or interest in reaching out to me or other family members. But they have close relationships with friends, church members, and coworkers. Their lack of reaching out to family is something that weighs on my heart often. I can't wrap my mind around why they put others above family. My point of reference comes from when I was a child and my mom would say that friends will come in and out of our lives but family is family for the rest of your life. So to me it seems right to put my family ahead of others in my life.
But after hearing that mom's advice I really thought about my actions and how they appear to others. Do I come across as someone who puts family first. No. For years I put friends first when I was young and it impacted my relationship with my sister. My excuse to myself was that we were so different and that she left me out not the other way around. But even when I came home for visits after college, I would spend time with others instead of my sister. How grateful I am that she loves me in spite of my under appreciating her.
I remember when my kids were little growling at them about unfinished chores or whatever I was grumbling about at the moment. Then the doorbell would ring and I would change personalities as if I had a light switch connected to my emotions. When my tutoring student came in the house the grump was gone and I was all smiles. That must have hurt my own children seeing me give my love and attention to stranger's kids when they got impatience and frustration from me. I was certainly not putting my family first.
A third grade teacher I know admitted that she baked and decorated a big batch of cupcakes one afternoon. When her son came in and saw them he ran over to grab one. Then he stopped with the goodie close to his mouth and apologized. He realized she hadn't made them for him but for her class. She lied and told him she had indeed made them for him and his brothers. At that moment she recognized her priorities were wrong.
I know there are cousins, nephews, nieces, and others in my family that I don't call just to catch up often enough. So my mindset needs to change. Instead of moping about the actions of my family, I am going to put my efforts into reaching out to them. Great advice!
In Him,
Joyful
9-25-11
There are those in my family who have little time or interest in reaching out to me or other family members. But they have close relationships with friends, church members, and coworkers. Their lack of reaching out to family is something that weighs on my heart often. I can't wrap my mind around why they put others above family. My point of reference comes from when I was a child and my mom would say that friends will come in and out of our lives but family is family for the rest of your life. So to me it seems right to put my family ahead of others in my life.
But after hearing that mom's advice I really thought about my actions and how they appear to others. Do I come across as someone who puts family first. No. For years I put friends first when I was young and it impacted my relationship with my sister. My excuse to myself was that we were so different and that she left me out not the other way around. But even when I came home for visits after college, I would spend time with others instead of my sister. How grateful I am that she loves me in spite of my under appreciating her.
I remember when my kids were little growling at them about unfinished chores or whatever I was grumbling about at the moment. Then the doorbell would ring and I would change personalities as if I had a light switch connected to my emotions. When my tutoring student came in the house the grump was gone and I was all smiles. That must have hurt my own children seeing me give my love and attention to stranger's kids when they got impatience and frustration from me. I was certainly not putting my family first.
A third grade teacher I know admitted that she baked and decorated a big batch of cupcakes one afternoon. When her son came in and saw them he ran over to grab one. Then he stopped with the goodie close to his mouth and apologized. He realized she hadn't made them for him but for her class. She lied and told him she had indeed made them for him and his brothers. At that moment she recognized her priorities were wrong.
I know there are cousins, nephews, nieces, and others in my family that I don't call just to catch up often enough. So my mindset needs to change. Instead of moping about the actions of my family, I am going to put my efforts into reaching out to them. Great advice!
In Him,
Joyful
9-25-11
I think we should start an HPA group - Hokey Pokey Anonymous. We should meet weekly and just talk about what our focus is going to be for the week - what we're going to work at changing around. Or maybe it could be a NEW BLOG where we all check in!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to start it!
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