Daddy's birthday yesterday was difficult and made for a tearful day for the first time in years. Today I am going to the funeral of one of my Young Life girl's father. She is a junior in high school and loved her Dad. He was one of those involved Dad's that we always saw in the halls at school, volunteering for projects driving kids to and from activities. Life got the better of him last week and he ended it all. So hard to understand that act. There is just no way to understand it because it is not a rational decision.
Again I am reminded of how judgemental I was before Ryan made that same choice. He was such an empathetic person always thinking of others feelings and reaching out to comfort and encourage. No way did he think through the consequences of his last act or he would never have ended it that way. My feelings changed about suicide. It is not selfish. It is irrational and desperate but not selfish.
So today I will somehow make it through this service for my girl's sake. She was one of the amazing teens who were there for me after I lost Ry and I will be there to love on her during her rough months ahead. Putting others before myself even when it is hard is what Christ would do so I will lean on Him and hope she can lean on Him as well.
Today is not about me but boy do I miss my Dad and my son. My eyes keep weeping at the thought of her young heart losing her daddy to such a tragedy.
In Him,
Joyful
11-18-11
Again I am reminded of how judgemental I was before Ryan made that same choice. He was such an empathetic person always thinking of others feelings and reaching out to comfort and encourage. No way did he think through the consequences of his last act or he would never have ended it that way. My feelings changed about suicide. It is not selfish. It is irrational and desperate but not selfish.
So today I will somehow make it through this service for my girl's sake. She was one of the amazing teens who were there for me after I lost Ry and I will be there to love on her during her rough months ahead. Putting others before myself even when it is hard is what Christ would do so I will lean on Him and hope she can lean on Him as well.
Today is not about me but boy do I miss my Dad and my son. My eyes keep weeping at the thought of her young heart losing her daddy to such a tragedy.
In Him,
Joyful
11-18-11
No comments:
Post a Comment