Friday, March 2, 2012

Today I Was Blessed, Today I Am Blessed

My life is blessed. Today, I celebrate not the losses in my life but the blessings.  My heart's desire was to have 4 children and a husband who adored me. Through the generous hearts of 4 courageous birthmoms I was blessed with exactly the children God meant me to share my life with. My husband has been my best friend and heartthrob since I was 16 years old. Indeed I am blessed.

Life is not always happy heartaches come. Some of these rough times I brought on myself with my choices some were just the way life unfolded. Even through the sad or angry times I have never been alone. God is my stretcher when I need Him to be and rejoices with me when life exceeds my wildest dreams.

This family that I am blessed with have traveled all over in our little old camper van. From Key West the southeastern most tip of our country to the Arctic Circle the northwestern most point we have enjoyed every mile. The proof of how joy filled our journeys were came at the end of our 2 month trip to Alaska when we got to the last day and the kids and parents were all wishing for 'just one more night.' Mind you life in a 19 foot, 1975 camper can get a little snug when we cram 4 kids, 2 parents and a Grandma inside. But the coziness of it warms my heart. We cooked, slept, laughed and pranked each other in those tight quarters. In 2 months we only rented a hotel room once and that was because it was pouring rain and we stopped to late to set up camp. Oh the memories we have to smile about from those trips.

So today on my son's birthday that we are celebrating without him, I am choosing to reflect on the blessings my family have brought to my life. Sitting here at 55 having lived the life I have lived and knowing what I know, I would not change a thing. Life unfolds, Christ walks beside me and I know with all that I am that I have enjoyed the moments and people who are a part of my journey.

Ryan lived life, loved life and knew he was loved unconditionally. Life from today forward will be different without my son in it, but my future holds the joy of all the others that love me and allow me to love them. Friends, family, and my loving husband are here and I plan to wallow in the blessing of having each of them in my life.

In Him,


  1. My heart and thoughts are with you today and always! You have touched my life and brought me out of a place I did not want to be!Luv ya-oxoxo