Sunday, November 4, 2012

Thankful Even For Tears

Today I am thankful for my tears. In church, Pastor Steve had us share a fond memory of someone we loved who was no longer living. I would love to say I told others how Ryan touched people with his love and encouragement. Instead, I had to leave the sanctuary and roam around sobbing. I wound up in the fellowship hall that is also a roller skating rink. My kids had birthday parties in this space and we had Ryan's final goodbye party there. I just sat there with tears streaming down my face.

Ron came and found me and we just hugged and wept over the loss of our son. I am thankful for our tears because we wouldn't be crying without being blessed with 24 years of Ryan in our family. The tears are proof of how much he touched our lives and our hearts.

Sometimes it is easy to just move through life and other times my grief for my son stops me in my tracks. I am getting better at just embracing the tears and memories. Even 2 and a half years later, I know that his presence in my life as well as his abrupt death will always bring tears of joy and pain.

In Him,

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad you share your grief with us because your realness gives others the gift of being able to be real, too. I love you. I love the Ryan I know through you. And, of course, through his precious child Elissa.