Three years, 1095 days, 26,280 hours without my son. No wait, 24 years, 8794 days, 211056 hours of life with my son. This is a day to celebrate not his death, but his outstanding life. Ryan was a gift to all of us, and though he is not walking the earth any longer, his love and encouragement continues to be a force in our lives.
Ryan was a unique person who could and would make anyone feel like they were his most favorite of all. Ron and I have heard so many say that Ry was their best friend. How can that be? Most people only have one best friend. But you know each of them is right. Ryan had more best friends than most of us have casual friends. There was just something about that guy that made people feel accepted and valued. If only we could bottle his personality to dispense to others the world would be a more accepting place.
This is a day that I celebrate the life of my son and grieve that I know longer get to pick up the phone and hear him call me beautiful. I was beautiful to Ryan, we all were. He saw past the physical and emotional scars to the person that was worth knowing. Bringing out the best in others was as simple as breathing for this man.
Now I know Ry was not perfect, in fact far from it. He never believed in himself as much as he believed in those around him. I only pray that now that he is home in Heaven he is clear about the impact his words and love had on those around him. Ryan tended to look at his mistakes rather than his accomplishments. That is so sad to me.
jjheller wrote 'not for what i have done, or what i will become, who'll love me for me?' Ryan loved others and was tolerant of people's oddities. What a treasure to have that outlook in life. Not to always be jealous or condemning of others but to encourage and sing others' praises is the way we should all live.
Today, we are spending reflecting on the happy times spent as a family with our son. Bet I will find a perfect heart rock and know he would have picked it up and handed it to me with a smile if only he could.