Walking Slowly Toward the Next Step

What a restful morning, sitting by the fire with my Kylie dog sleeping cuddled up next to me. So many thoughts in my head this morning. They hired a forever teacher for my classroom so my calendar count of only 22 more days with my kiddos is now official. I will miss the marvelous people I work with but look forward to quiet mornings like this when my Mom is here. Spending time with her is a gift I cannot afford to give up. This is the right transition for me but I still mourn the end of once again being in the classroom with such incredible kids.

I have to be intentional on my next steps in life. Being with Mom and finishing our home with Ron will be center but there are other doors to open. God has gifted me with the heart of a mom who lived through losing my son to suicide. I feel drawn to reach out to sisters who have lost their brothers far too early. There are too many young adults in my life aching from the pain and loss. My heart is to get us together to spend time together. To lift each other up, laugh with our memories and just know that we are not alone in our grief.

Perhaps this time with the end of yet another step in my journey will find me with the time to learn to weave. I have depended on crocheting for most of my life to get me through the stressors of life and to provide me with warm gifts to share with so many others. My right wrist and thumb are telling me it may be time to find a new way to busy my hands.

Traveling is definitely in my next phase of life. Ron wants to go back to Peru to help the missions there. I hope to take Mom on yet another road trip to see our family in Washington and visit family and friends along the way. The trips we have shared are priceless memories that are now mine alone as Mom’s mind quiets with fewer and fewer memories of her own. There is joy in reminding her of past adventures even if she can only hold onto them for a few moments.The brief lighting up of her face reminds me that her memories have faded but my beautiful Mom is still right here beside me. The treasure of time with her is something that too many of my friends long for with their own Moms.

Turning this page, stepping out of my classroom one more time makes me quiet and reflective. My joy is that each student has impacted me in their own way. That I have had these incredible opportunities to walk with them for a time. That my countdown to my last day is to embrace every moment left with them not to rush through toward the end. I am so blessed to have this walk through life. What a lucky lady I am.

In Him,
Joyful
11-17-18