Cling to the Glimpses

glimpse

 (ɡlɪmps) 

n

1. a brief or incomplete view: to catch a glimpse of the sea. 

2. a vague indication: he had a glimpse of what the lecturer meant. 

3. archaic a glimmer of light

vb

4. (tr) to catch sight of briefly or momentarily

5. chiefly (usually foll by: at) US to look (at) briefly or cursorily; glance (at)

6. (intr) archaic to shine faintly; glimmer

These glimpses are what I live for. Those moments where Mom is briefly in view. Her personality is the glimmer of light when she turns with clarity at some memory I shared. Too often there is silence. Sitting with no understanding of what is, what was, or what will be. Within moments things slip from her mind. Often she accuses me of teasing her that we just walked out of the doctors office or that we spent the morning at breakfast with friends. Truth be told, I love to goof with Mom. It has always been a part of who we are. So that fact is a part of her fiber. Since their is absolutely no recollection of what we just did, her only process is that I must be joshing her. 

I love when she gets in the mood of teasing herself. Threatening to poke me with a pencil or stomp my toe with her cane. There are people who bring out that glimmer of light that is my Mom. Yesterday we went to the bank to get some papers notarized. She connected with Lisa and when it was time to go said,  “Nope, I’m staying.” Lisa said she would get Mom a cup of coffee. Mom told her to go ahead and get the coffee but she doesn’t drink coffee. They both laughed and their connection was clear. I promised to drop Mom off if she got too ornery and let her sit in a chair by Lisa’s desk. They both thought that was a splendid idea. 

Mom shines with the glimmers of personality that we all love. She will sit and read the newspaper, is curious about all the goings on at the park out the window, challenges herself to walk a little farther each day and has that determination and sense of humor that we all cherish. This past year the glimpses of Mom are getting more rare. For me spending as much time with her as possible is my gift. Capturing her beautiful smile in as many moments as I can will be my lasting treasure. 

Next week we are hoping to begin an adventure in our RV. What I know is that my Mom will enjoy narrating what is just outside the window. Having our own bed and bathroom will make the trip more familiar and manageable. Ron pointed out that this trip is really more for me than my Mom. Absolutely, I hope to cling to the glimpse of numerous trips we have taken in the past. Then I will hold onto these new memories until it is my time for them to begin to fade. Until then.

In Him,

Joyful

2-10-19