Three to Glow and One to Grow

Three to glow and one to grow.

This is fundamental in teaching. If we want to correct children and help them grow we need to catch them being good, doing the right thing, succeeding in more ways times three. This is not only true with children or in a classroom. In life, we need to intentionally encourage and compliment each other. Even in the little things we can find positives to mention. If we leave out this basic formula others will stop listening and get discouraged. They will begin to think they will never be good enough or quite measure up. Don’t get me wrong. Providing direction is extremely important. Not only for us to guide others but for others to guide us. I realize in my own daily life I appreciate when others have suggestions on how I can complete a task more efficiently. Even at 62 years old I can’t appreciate the input of others if they don’t pair it with some ‘atta boys.’ 

In this season of being a caregiver to my Mom, I am constantly questioning if I am making the right choices for her. Will she eat if I just offer her more choices? Is it okay not to take a shower today since she seems so weak? Does she need to go to the doctor or rest at home? Each choice feels like a life or death decision at times. There are so many loving people in my life who have walked this same path with their loved ones. I so appreciate their sharing what worked for them and suggestions. But even then it has to be paired with their recognizing my heart and how hard I am trying to do the best for my Mom. Every day is filled with the motivation of loving her and second guessing me. Three to glow and one to grow matters. 

Too often with my adult children I truly believe their lives would be so much better if they would just listen to my advice. After all, I spent a couple decades molding and directing them. When did my views stop being the best for them? It is hard to watch our kids go through struggles. The truth is life may be easier for them if they listened to me once in a while. But the reality is they hear me less if I advice constantly rather than ‘catching them doing good.’ Pointing out all the terrific choices they make earns me the right to put in my two cents on occasion. Three to glow and. One to grow. 

Even with ourselves we need to practice the three to one glow grow. We can be the hardest on ourselves when we beat our selves up for decisions that don’t work out. Time to get out our rose colored glasses and view ourselves and our hearts with compassion. Rather than being our own worst critics we need to intentionally reflect on why we chose what we chose and then how we can improve.

The other truth in this is that although I have strong opinions and a heart to help not hurt, I don’t know everything. Shocking I know. But thank God family and friends don’t always take my advice. Heck, I shouldn’t even take my own advice most of the time. The truth is also true of your advice to me. None of us have all the answers. Each of us has the ability to encourage each other. Practicing the encouraging more will accomplish what we really want. Those we love to have joyful life’s that our connected to ours. 

In Him,

Joyful

3-14-19