Stillness Is Key

Christina Patterson spoke wisdom to me this morning in my Bible study. Just be still. That is the hardest thing to do when I just want to fix it, run to doing anything I can even if it is wrong. She said that sometimes more gets done in stillness than in hustle. Sounds wrong but when I rush to do often I am rudderless and cause more exhausted harm than good.
Surrender my will
Talk to God/pray
Identify who I am in Him
Look to His example of stillness
Learn contentment

What if all my efforts were effective? Looking back over my life I recognize how many times I knew, absolutely knew what was best for me and for others. Only to realize as things unfolded in a way I hadn’t expected that my ideas would have been the worst solution. At the very least I need to remember that I am where I am not because of how I saw my life but because God saw the big picture when I couldn’t.

In my twenties I knew that I had to have children that looked just like Ronnie B. I could not imagine not having his children and carrying them myself. God saw that my kids were not to come from my womb but from birth moms who loved them incredibly well. I didn’t choose adoption. God saw that a chosen family was the perfect one for Ron and me. If I had a rewind button and could get my own way of pregnancies, I would choose infertility again. It is the only way I was able to have the family that is my whole heart and soul. God’s ways were better even through the process of adoption. I wrote letters to 1000 ob/gyns across the country. Carefully selecting just who to send the perfectly worded letters to. None of my four kids came through any of those letters but God found them for our family through family and friends who knew their birth moms. Don’t get me wrong. The letter writing campaign had purpose. It kept my mind engaged while I poured effort into doing it my way. But perhaps my time would have been better spent being still and knowing God’s love for me would never leave me childless.

Today I get too caught up in the news and the division of our country. It is almost as if I can affect a change by engaging in the watching. The truth is I am also too easily offended and feel judged as I judge others. Ron and I have decided to take a news break for the next few weeks. Don’t worry we weren’t the ones in charge even while getting so caught up. Instead we are spending time being still and trusting that God sees the big picture and can cause real change for good even now.

I am praying for touch in this stillness. Too many of us are lacking human touch through this Covid world. Hugging will return. I believe this because God gave us arms to embrace each other. That will be a marvelous day when I can hug you. Even if it is a back hug~~~I’ll take it.

In Him,
Joyful
6-13-20