Each of us has ideas that we have developed over a lifetime that work and know the ideas to be avoided. Wouldn’t it be grand if we all could gather those lessons under an umbrella that we could reference before we move into a new season of life or onto a new adventure. Family stories and folk tales have been useful in the past to help us know what direction to take. There are fables, other children’s books, and self-help books that provide direction. Social media support groups give us a platform to ask questions and get answers. But don’t you and I both have things we want to share that we have learned over the years?
This morning, I was having coffee with a friend who admittedly is on the Autism spectrum and she was asking me for tips to help her navigate a few things in her life. Having worked with kiddos from kindergarten to middles school with kids who faced similar challenges has given me a lot of dos and don’t to share. She soaked in what was helpful and let go of what didn’t apply to her.
It got me thinking of all the experts out there that have a wealth of knowledge that are to precious to keep bottled up. Sharing is caring they say. What I believe is that too often we are not bold enough to let others know what we know. Of course I agree that we don’t want to spew unwanted advice. That is the stereotype of the mother-in-law not the mother-in-love. One who knows best and won’t see that there are multiple ways to attack any given situation. Yes, even potty training and bedtime routines.
The truth is that it is all in the attitude you bring to the sharing that matters. A suggestion may be taken where a my way or the highway will turn off another’s listening so quick. An example of that is years ago Ronnie B told me that there was a more efficient way for me to fold towels. I shut down and wouldn’t even consider his way. After all, I had been folding towels for years without his unsolicited input. But his advice stuck with me and eventually I saw the wisdom in his way of folding those damn towels. One thing I always want to share with those who have kids in their lives is the fact that visual memory is best accessed by our brains by looking up not down. So it just makes sense to place anything we need to recall up high not down low for efficiency sake. If you want to remember something don’t put it on the counter by your bathroom sink but tape it to the top of your mirror. Having a student write their spelling words five times each at their desk is not as helpful as taping a paper to a white board above their head and having them write them there. Either way the student is doing the same work but one makes more sense neurologically.
But we also have to remember context and when it is appropriate to share our wisdom with others. I often get this wrong and people look at me as if I am daft and really need to be put away. There brain is not where my brain is and so they are just confused that I am talking about visual memory when they simply looked up to recall what they were talking about. Usually they are unaware that they even looked up. That fact is why I desire to speak up to make life easier. But I need to wait until it makes sense to say something.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just access with confidence the brains of others that have lived and learned. Perhaps Wikipedia and Reddit are such tools. The helpful thing about them is that we go there seeking information and advice not having it dumped on us without asking. If you want to ask me about teaching and best practices for kids just ask. Be prepared to have a second cup of coffee because once the faucet gets turned on it is hard to turn off. What about you? What is the one thing you always wish you could advise others on to make their lives easier? It is out of caring that you share with me. Maybe it is not just my towels that need to be folded differently but those pesky fitted sheets. Oh wait, I have decided to stop folding them and put my sheets and pillowcases neatly in one of the pillowcases and just have a lumpy linen pile next to my engineeringly, correctly folded towels.
In Him,
Joyful
8-2-24
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