The past few weeks I have been feeling like I have something wonderful to share. I am not sure what exactly but just a glow that seems to be present. The truth is that it has been an April to remember since I turned seventy and people I love came out to celebrate me. At the same time, I had to say goodbye to one of my closest friends who journeyed to heaven unexpectedly. Somehow I am so happy for her. She always knew she would be in God’s presence and shared her faith to make heaven a bit more crowded when she arrived. I have been trying to assess why I have this feeling of euphoria. But does it really need to be explained or should I just embrace this positive vibe that is in me? Perhaps I am grateful for what life is in this moment.
Let’s see……..there was a time in my life that I doubted I would ever be a mom or have a family. Here I am with my kids, their kids, and even their kids. My heart is full of a family I didn’t dare to imagine.
A few years ago, long covid laid me in my bed on oxygen 24/7. The exhaustion was isolating and overwhelming. Having lost my sister to covid, I didn’t have confidence I would survive or ever walk through an airport again out of a wheelchair. Here I am oxygen free or at least supplemental oxygen free. I guess my lungs decided to heal and allow the oxygen around me to be sufficient. My energy is not completely restored but I have learned to budget it to do what I want to do in life.
I have been jealous of others who have friend circles. Now I have a group that includes me and that makes me feel a part of. The beauty is that there is no pressure. I can show up when I can and that is enough. This group of about twenty is fluid. Everyone travels and has other commitments so there is no judgement when someone is not there. Feeling embraced and loved by this group has been powerful to my mental health and squashes my orphan spirit that plagued me most of my life.
For most of my life I have not felt beautiful. Plain Jane is how I would describe myself with my mousy brown hair and normal features. I struggled with my weight and never felt pretty. Funny as my face wrinkles and my skin becomes crepey, I am finally seeing the beauty that is me. Beauty is not about big blue eyes or a model body. It is about my heart for others that shines through my eyes. Perhaps I am finally seeing myself as my daughter sees me. A random, selfless person who loves others and that is where my beauty lies. Okay, it helps that I am thinner with Zepbound and have been treating myself to self care at All Dolled Up with Pricilla. She is magic with facials and adding eyebrows that I always longed for.
Ronnie B and I are celebrating forty-nine years of marriage next month as we both slip into our seventies. The love of my life is more my best friend and encourager as we age together. How is it possible that we enjoy each other’s company more now than ever before. Life has not always been easy but we have weathered the storms and ended up here still in each other’s arms. Oh how I adore this man of mine. He is incredible. The smartest person I know. Heck, he even knew about hippo’s spinning tails while they poop. How did he know that. I found out because Caleb, our three year old great-grandson is fascinated with animals pooping on You Tube. We will be heading out in our little rv for six weeks soon. I look forward to snuggling up just the two of us traveling together. Hot springs along the way have become our routine. I love my Ronnie B even more now than ever before. I feel more loved by my Ronnie B than I ever have. What a gift that is to both of us. The fact that we genuinely enjoy being together. Now that I think about it, I have so many reasons to feel optimistic and grateful. Life is good, better than good. Life is fantastic. My advice is don’t wait until you turn seventy to see your beauty and the beauty of your life. Even in the struggles there are moments of sunshine.
In Him,
Joyful
5-2-26
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