No Whoopie Cushions In Church

Whoopie cushions do not, I repeat, do not belong in church. That is not what our son, Ryan, decided when he was about 9. He brought a whoopie cushion and waited until the prayer before the offering to delicately lay it on the pew under Cam's behind. Ron was up front serving as an usher, so when he heard the big RIP he thought some old guy let loose. The whole church was stunned and then laughter broke out. 2 people were not laughing. Cam was so embarrassed because everyone thought it was him giving off those bodily sounds. I was not too happy cuz I could see the cushion and was trying to quickly and quietly get it out of there. It did not go quietly, but kept sputtering all the way to the door. I figured after I removed the WC I could come back and wring Ryan's neck.

I swear, having 4 kids so close in age, what 1 didn't think of the others did. We had more embarrassing moments than I can imagine. Pretty sure the congregation was not surprised by the weird noises coming from our pew.

Years later, I was taking a group of Young Life middle school girls to church pretty regularly. For many of them it was their 1st church experience. They all were made welcome and soon they were taking the offering and helping out with the service. One Sunday, as the girls were walking up the center aisle to take the offering, I noticed that Marina's bright pink thong was visible for all to see. Her hip hugging pants were well below the thong and it stood out like a beacon. No one said a word to her. You gotta love those Methodists who were just glad these girls were hearing God's word, no matter how they were dressed.

The great thing about being embarrassed in church is at least you are IN church. Kids learn what they grow up with. So hopefully my grandkids will get opportunities to embarrass their parents some Sunday morning soon.

In Him,

Joyful
2-28-2010