Retirement Party, Bad Idea

So dumb! Today I didn't listen to my gut and went to a retirement party that I knew would be too much. It was filled with people who have poured into my son and people whose kids I have been able to pour into. A park full of educators who all are exhausted as the end of the year barrels toward us. A few moments out of our busyness of report cards and packing up classrooms and getting in that 1 last math skill that the kiddos didn't quite grasp.

My mistake was not wearing a sign that said 'Don't talk to me or ask me how I am.' Not that I could have handled just standing there alone either. Today, I decided I don't want to play this life, this way. It is time for a do over. Back to Spring Break and I will go up and get Ryan and bring him down for Easter, my birthday. Time to rewrite the script. Where is the editor? We definitely need a rewrite.

These people care. I care about them too. But I just want to run and crawl under the bed and pout. Today is not the day to be social or buck up or act 'as if'. Today is the day that the flood is back and I definitely need more kleenex.

To all who love me, thanks for your prayers and your love. I really am grateful even as I am running for the car.

In Him,

Joyfully Hanging On By a Thread
5-20-2010