Children can succeed. It is up their adults, to notice successes and celebrate. Growth comes when we recognize our strengths and build on them. With children, we need to help them see how they are improving and give them credit for those improvements. The easy road is to react to their missteps and punish them. The right road is to direct and encourage them.
Teaching in this behavior class, I am learning to focus on the tiny steps my students are making each day. These amazing young people struggle to hold their emotions in tact. It is easy to give up when you feel like you will never be good enough. Going through your day waiting for your next screw up and punishment. Here is a parallel for us to consider.
Imagine going through your day balancing on one foot? The goal to make it through your day without once placing your foot on the floor. What is the best coarse to achieve this goal? You would be exhausted by the end of the day and would have moments when you couldn't help but put your foot down. Would it be helpful if someone was there to scold you and point out each time you failed? Or would you be encouraged by someone who pointed out that you were going longer between foot falls and that they could tell how hard you were trying? Success happens when they see progress not when they feel defeated.
Ross Greene points out that kids will behave if they can, not if they want to. It is up to us to give them the tools and strategies to succeed. We need to be there to celebrate their successes and move them toward the goal. Everyone wants to be successful, but we need to understand why the goal matters and believe it is within our reach.
Learning to identify a behavior, come up with strategies to change it, implementing those strategies, and then evaluating the success of their efforts is my job. Most of us go through this process naturally without even realizing that we have done it. But these are skills some don't have and need to learn.
Kids will behave if they can. We would change annoying parts of our lives if we could. Moving toward our goals and making our lives simpler and more successful takes thought, encouragement, and the ability to see growth, no matter how small.
Celebrate successes! Hope comes when we move toward our goals.
In Him,
Joyful
9-24-11
Teaching in this behavior class, I am learning to focus on the tiny steps my students are making each day. These amazing young people struggle to hold their emotions in tact. It is easy to give up when you feel like you will never be good enough. Going through your day waiting for your next screw up and punishment. Here is a parallel for us to consider.
Imagine going through your day balancing on one foot? The goal to make it through your day without once placing your foot on the floor. What is the best coarse to achieve this goal? You would be exhausted by the end of the day and would have moments when you couldn't help but put your foot down. Would it be helpful if someone was there to scold you and point out each time you failed? Or would you be encouraged by someone who pointed out that you were going longer between foot falls and that they could tell how hard you were trying? Success happens when they see progress not when they feel defeated.
Ross Greene points out that kids will behave if they can, not if they want to. It is up to us to give them the tools and strategies to succeed. We need to be there to celebrate their successes and move them toward the goal. Everyone wants to be successful, but we need to understand why the goal matters and believe it is within our reach.
Think about the most annoying thing that you deal with in your life. Is it that a coworker continually takes you off task with a 10 minute chat every morning, or that your spouse always puts the empty milk jug back in the fridge, or you react to your teen's drama with ugly words that you later regret. Whatever is annoying us we have the power to change. But it takes time and a thoughtful plan. If we miss any of the following steps or give up too soon nothing will change. No growth will be made.
Kids will behave if they can. We would change annoying parts of our lives if we could. Moving toward our goals and making our lives simpler and more successful takes thought, encouragement, and the ability to see growth, no matter how small.
Celebrate successes! Hope comes when we move toward our goals.
In Him,
Joyful
9-24-11
I love this. You are so smart and insightful. Thank you for posting this.
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