Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Preretirement Musings or Trusting Him

A day off, a day away from my middle-schoolers gives me time to reflect on retirement. What will it be like to not be in a classroom filled with my heart kids? Ron and I took the day to meet up with Natalie as she drives from San Diego to Colorado Springs. Her plans changed and we will meet for lunch instead of breakfast. So I am home. My kiddos are at school. I am not sure I like being here when they are there. The good thing is most of mine will be moving onto high school next year. I guess there has every chapter has to come to an end.

It is clear to me that God has plans to use my life after midschool. However, it is not crystal clear what that life will look like. Juvenile probation officer, working with CYFD for adoptions, working somehow with families that have children on the autism spectrum, writing, weaving, or a number of other ideas come to me. Each of these would be incredible and fulfilling. God knows. I just need to pursue each path and see what opens up. The blessings of the next chapter will fill me.

Leaving my work family is hard to embrace. Los Alamos Middle School is full of loving, supportive people who have become my family. Just last week we all wore pink as one of our own went in for a double mastectomy. There were tears and hugs shared by all.
The next step is never easy. Leaving a place where I have felt successful, supported and a part of is difficult. But I feel God's hands gently pressing in my back encouraging me to let go and trust His plan. I am old, my hair is white, I don't always remember what I came into a room to look for. Is He sure I have a role to play somewhere new? The answer I keep hearing is "YES. Leave the comfort and familiar and stretch yourself to do." So I will trust. Reluctantly, fearfully at times trust that there is a life after LAMS. I feared leaving the elementary school and when forced to move to the midschool it was like I had come home. This time I hope not to get a kick in the butt but listen to the gentle prodding.

Retirement isn't about moving away from my work home but being willing to embrace a new adventure. Please pray for me as I struggle with this leaving my security.

 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 

Glad my Tillie will be here in a few minutes to distract us from this pre-retirement musing.

In Him,

1 comment:

  1. When I retired I kept my closest friends from work near, and we are meeting for lunch often in two separate groups. I recommend volunteer work after retirement to keep you happy.