I will let you know if it doesn’t taste good.
Those were the words of my new husband our first months of marriage.
His brain told him that of course what I cooked was good so I should know that without words.
My heart however had a need to be affirmed with his words.
Fast forward over forty years and we rest in the same pattern.
My mom living here needing constant, continuous care is such a gift
yet I need affirmation that I am being all I need for her and her care.
Ronnie B. sees what I am doing in a positive light but his words are often suggestions
for tweaking things to make them better.
So here we are my engineer, thinker brain husband and my the special ed teacher, feeler brain wife.
The good news is I have other feelers in my life who acknowledge the little successes
I am having with my mom everyday.
God blesses us with others in our lives to stroke each need we have.
The gift that after a lifetime I know Ron’s approval is there even in his silence.
But boy am I glad for my tribe that verbally reassures me with their encouragement.
Jenn gave me the best gift when she oozed praise for the attitude I have with my mom.
Her acknowledgement of how difficult this season is validated my feelings.
The physical caring for mom is the easy part.
All the memories that once were ours are now just mine.
Being close to my best friend and knowing she is slipping away breaks my heart.
I am blessed that I can cling to the moments that her eyes sparkle with personality.
When she reacts to a goofy comment or laughs at a line in a movie that also makes me chuckle.
My heart so wants to hold onto each day we are spending together knowing that they won’t last.
My insecurity hopes I am doing all I can to love mom enough
and care for her needs with excellence.
Ron is here to support me with his time, love for my mom as well as me.
He is patient with her and stretches both of us to do a little more each day.
I love my man of few words his encouragement may not be spoken but is there in his actions throughout the day.
I am beyond grateful for all who are supporting us in this season of love and time.
In Him,
Joyful
1-27-19
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