Follow-Up Question to Clarify

I need to practice the follow-up question. Too many times I am offended or hurt by someone else’s words. Their words or my interpretation of them are not always their thoughts or heart. Words can be misspoken or misreceived in even the simplest conversation. Then I walk away hurt and chewing on those words all day. When I could have asked a simple, clarifying question that would have cleared things up and freed my day of all the drama in my head. Too often I stumble around believing what I heard rather than what they meant. Then I get caught up in the ‘they don’t even care who they hurt me.’ How could they care when they didn’t mean what they said or what I heard. They are totally unaware of the fretting I am caught up in.

This happens too often in person and even more in texts. Yesterday, I had an example of this saying one thing that was out of context and so misunderstood. We are having kitchen cabinets installed by a family friend’s company. I asked his worker if both ownerss would be there installing the kitchen. He then asked my friend. Thankfully, my friend asked the follow-up question. He interpreted my question that I didn’t have confidence in him installing the cabinets without his partner. That is not what I meant. It was my recollection that when we signed the contract they needed to both be here because our kitchen is complicated. So I asked just to clarify who would be installing not because I thought it is necessary for them both to be here. If he hadn’t asked that clarifying question, he would have done the install believing I didn’t have faith in him. I do. By the way, the kitchen is beyond my expectations and they are getting so much done so fast.

I want to live my life unoffended. But I am aware that what I perceive and receive are not always others hearts or intentions. It takes courage to ask for clarification when you think someone has hurt you. But it may be that was not their intent at all. Just ask and avoid all the drama. That is what I need to remember.

In Him,
Joyful
1-17-19