My Job is Encourager Not Fixer

There are those days when I am in church and the Lord just washes over me. Tears flow as my heart fills with His truth that all in my life are in His hands. The power of hope and love seep deep into my heart and I am moved to tears. Yesterday was one of those services. Others courageously shared their stories with us and how God stepped in to transform their circumstances. The real gift in this is that I reflect on how my life has been impacted by His love. Dwelling on the positive rather than the heartbreak of my own life gives me hope and encouragement. So many situations in my life and those of my loved ones are beyond my control. But I am not powerless. In all things I can pray and trust that as great as my love is God’s love for each of them is even greater.

My kids have struggles in their lives that I can’t fix with my own hands. But what I need to remember is that working through their bumps in the road will give them satisfaction and an undeerstanding that they can work things out on their own. There is a positive to even the most difficult situations. When we walk out on the other side the victory is ours. I need to remember that my job with my adult children is not to be the fixer but to be encouraging and support their fixing.  It can be difficult to change hats with our kids because I did fix things for them from the time they are born. If they were hungry or poopy I was the one who stepped in to fill their tummies and make them fragrance free. Then I was there to clean their boo boos and wipe their tears when a friend hurt their feelings. But along the way my job was to make my job somewhat obsolete. As they grew I continuously took a step back to let them step up and resolve their own conflicts and do for themselves. Somewhere along the way when they moved out and on with their own lives my role shifted from fixer to supporter. When I try to step back in and fix things I usually just mess it up. The nature of life is to raise our kids like the birds in the sky. Once they are ready to fly we have to let them fly. The momma bird doesn’t try to fly beside them and keep them airborne. She trusts that they will be capable on their own. The gift of being a mom to adult kids is that unlike the birds I get to have them in my life and just enjoy watching them soar.

Easter service opened my eyes once again to how life is full of hope even when everything is not  just the way I think it should be. Our resilience and His love can get me through even the toughest circumstances. I may come out with some scars on the other side but I will also come out with the knowledge and pride that I am strong enough to get through anything. God doesn’t smooth the way in our lives but He promises to walk beside us always. That is what I need to do as a Mom. Not fix things for my kids but be there with them throughout their days.

In Him,
Joyful
4-22-19