Definitely Not Who We Were Before

Can you think back to last Christmas when the world seemed so much more familiar. Looking forward to 2020 was about a new grandson, trips in our RV, and time at home between. We had a loss in our family to start the year and innocently prayed for that January sorrow would give way to new life in February and a new beginning. Then March came and shook the world to an instant halt. It was unimaginable back in December when we were all gathered at a hotel in Southern California for a different sort of Christmas. Hot tubs and swimming pools brought us together in one place to just spend time with family. Now those hotels are slowly opening but who knows when the water world that I love will ever be available again.

Life has changed in a few short months more drastically for all of us than ever before. It would be so easy for me to sit here reflecting on all we have lost or I could focus my heart and mind on what we have gained. I think of the mothers of wee ones who went back to work and with a heavy heart dropped there newborns at daycare. Now they are present to spend time and be there for all the little milestones reached in these young lives. For me 2019 was a year away from home caring for two separate loved ones in their final days coupled with a glorious trip to the Bahamas with my Ronnie B.
It seemed 2019 was a year of loss and a year of gifts and that is how 2020 is turning out as well.

I tend to keep old, wall calendars. They say our checkbooks and calendars show what is important to us since they shine a light on how we spend our time and money. These are our most precious commodities so how we spend them is pretty telling. During this stay at home I have been gifted with more time at home and with my man than I have chosen in far too long. In some ways I hoped to run back to a classroom to fill my days and my heart. Thinking I could not survive with too much time on my hands. The truth is I was terrified at the thought of filling my own time without any structure or purpose. Silly me!!! This time out at home has shown me how I can fill my days in a purposeful way with focus on Ron and myself as well as taking time with my Jesus. There has not been a day I felt rudderless. After Ron retired five years ago, he began printing out a weekly calendar to keep in his pocket. He fills it in and keeps his forward motion with hat small piece of paper to guide his days. I have joined him in this practice. I needed structure in even my quiet time.

Each of us copes in our own way. My prayer is that we can look at what we have gained in 2020 as well as acknowledging what we have lost. The world has changed. We have too.

In Him,
Joyful
6-11-20