Forgiveness One Step at a Time

Are you like me? Do you struggle with forgiving others? Do you hold on to grudges and then gossip in the name of praying for the offender? This is the worst part of me. Well, at least in my mind it is. Too often I find myself sitting in the wrongs of others and rehashing over and over how they have hurt me. Most often it is me feeling excluded. I have said before that I have an orphan spirit. Jack Frost describes this as a feeling of not belonging of being excluded. What I can replace it with is a sense of Sonship. Resting in God’s love for me as His child. Year after year I struggle with this and pray often for a release. My focus on how I am treated rather than how I treat others is unhealthy. It really gets down to a choice of being thankful for what I have or wallowing in self pity over what I do not. That is when I turn my thoughts to blaming others for their actions that cause me to feel cast out rather than seeing my own actions that hold them at arms length.


Today I am focusing on one particular relationship that I need to forgive and heal. Back when I taught multiplication tables I found it helpful for students to focus on the most difficult problem then learn it like they know their own name. Most chose 8x7 or 9x6 and once they truly mastered that then they moved onto the next one. Conquering them one at a time rather than trying to learn them through one minute tests of a pageful was a great strategy. So I am implementing this strategy to heal my heart from unforgiveness. It will most likely take more than a single day to pray for healing my own heart. I may need a week or two or more. But if I can shift this first most critical relationship, it will give me confidence for others that are less broken. Who knows you may hear less gossip and frustration from me in the future. For sure I know I need a different approach after years of not making a change to my own heart. It is exhausting letting such negative focus remain. So here is to a new direction and new approach to a decade old problem. Wish me luck. Better yet pray with me.

In Him,
Joyful
6-25-20