I have not been blogging for awhile. I am not sure what is going on with me since I know that Bible study then blogging first thing in the morning is my sweet spot. But I seem to walk away from my positive habits just when I need them the most. So a couple weeks ago was my sister’s life celebration. I knew it would be a beautiful, family filled day but I just wanted to be past it. Today marks six months since she died alone in a Covid Unit of the hospital after twenty one days of struggling. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that my sister is not just a phone call away.
Although I have not been blogging, God has kept me busy finishing up my blog book about Ryan. I love that it connects Susi and I as we find one mistake after another to clean up. So it launched on Amazon a couple weeks ago and I was overcome with emotion. This feels like my testimony that God pressed me to share. What makes me smile is that after pouring over this decade of writing over and over again, Bethany looked at it on Mother’s Day and immediately asked why we spelled Foreword/ Forward. WHAT!! How the heck did we miss that? God keeps us humble.
So we revised that and now are on our third submission of the text. I have been obsessing over getting it just right. Yesterday, as I listened to a sermon while checking margins and spacing in the book. Pastor Madu preached on the sabbath. Resisting-a-rest was the title of his sermon. He pointed out that after God created the heavens and earth in six days, He looked at it and said it was good. Then He rested. But He didn’t just rest, He delighted in His work. Pastor pointed out if we get so caught up in improving and fine tuning a work it becomes a duty not a delight. At some point we need to be finished and enjoy the end result. That was just the word I needed. So later today Leona will upload the final edit and I will rejoice in the journey and the finished book. Are there some mistakes? I am sure there are. But it is finished.
During this time I was thinking about songwriters who sing there created words for decades to crowds who know each syllable. I can imagine that they think they could of and should have worded a phrase here and there differently. Or wouldn’t it be better if I had phrased it this way? But they are forced to sing the original song just as it was recorded. Their faithful audiences sing along and would not be keen on them updating the lyrics. I hope it doesn’t grate on them but that they can relax in their original words that obviously touched so many.
Not for what I have done, or what I will become. Who will love me for me? jjheller
This lyric is right in my head when I need to cling to Jesus love for me always and all ways. I didn’t earn His love it was given freely. I am so thankful for jj’s words and am grateful she didn’t keep revising obsessively. So by the weekend my book will be complete and on Amazon regardless of an errant comma or extra space where it should not be. The path God has directed me to share my journey is not about perfection but grace and love.
In Him,
Joyful
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