Rest After Purpose is Just What was Needed

I am listening to a series on Social Dallas on rest. It amazes me that this is the week when I needed more than my average rest. So let me clarify a bit. Earlier in the week I posted that my book was finished and I was going to delight in the finished state that it was. Well, it was clearly not finished because I found an error that could not stand. Then what else may not be just the way it is supported to be? So I drove four hours to Colorado on Tuesday to meet up with Susi, my editor, college roommate and lifelong closest friend. We spent ten hours with the Amazon book, Barnes and Noble book and our google doc book. The truth is that we found discrepancies that would have stayed in the finished book that we just were not willing to ignore. Along this path we hit a picture that somehow became a footer and screwed up the book more than when we began working. Ugh! It was a frustrating day in many ways and a magical days in others. The footer eventually was removed and the book became what it was always meant to be. We celebrated in the best, most excellent version that we could now present to those who picked it up to go on this journey with us. 

In taking one last look to make the book the best it could be, I was blessed with exactly what I needed this week six months after my sister died of Covid. 

I needed a time of solitude~I got to drive eight hours in two days through the most beautiful country New Mexico and Colorado have to offer. 

I needed to reflect on the loss of my sister and my son~actually looking at the words God gave me along my healing I saw more clearly how I was and am supported even in the worst times. We discovered something new. There was not even one blog about losing Ryan in 2018. At first I was crushed that I didn’t write about losing him even once for a whole year. Now Susi and I had poured over this book for over a year paying attention to every detail but neither of us had noticed. This new revelation gave us an opportunity to see it for our selves and point it out to our readers. Although the loss is always with us, our lives become focused on living. The loss of my sister will always be with me but it will not be as raw and the center of my heart like it is at this moment. 

I needed to be loved~I to spend time with Susi. Working on this beautiful gift of a book together was at times frustrating and we both were exhausted . But the time together has reconnected us and our need to spend time together. After three hours sleep and another go at completing we finished. Oh how excellent that felt. If we would have done it in two separate states and over FaceTime and phone calls, it wouldn’t have been so sweet. Being about to celebrate together with hugs and closeness were a bonus gift. 

I needed to be okay with launching the book not yer perfect~ Begore I left to drive to Colorado, I had a parent of one of my students call me. She asked if she could buy me a cup of coffee and get me to sign my book that she had purchased from Amazon. I told her that I was on my way to make changes to the book. Her response was just what I needed. She said she felt lucky that she got an original. Her words released me from the worry that some had a copy that was not all it could be. God is in control of whose hands receive it and who needs what from it. This book has never been about making money but sharing my journey and how I was never made to walk through it alone. 

I needed rest~Emotional rest, physical rest, and actual crawl into bed and sleep the clock around rest. I drove eight hours in two days on three hours sleep. When I got home in the afternoon I crawled under a quilt Susi made Ron and I decades ago and slept. Natalie woke me four hours later and we spent the evening on the back porch watching fifteen month old, Felix, explore and adventure. Then Ron and I sat on the couch and shared conversation. Oh how I love my Ronnie B. Then I crawled back upstairs to bed and slept through my alarm and normal wake up time. I woke completely rested delighted in the book and its excellence for Christ. 

What a powerful couple of days this has been. I am so thankful I said yes to this part of my journey and I move forward not foreword to what God has for me next.

In Him,

Joyful